Wanting to know what some of you think ~

I read quotes like this one:

“Live overseas for a month and you’ll want to write an article about it.  Live overseas for a year and you’ll want to write a book about it.  Live overseas for a few years and you won’t want to talk about it.”

...and I understand.

Imagine if this was a favorite and common breakfast?

Try explaining it to someone who swings through a McDs drive through for coffee and a breakfast sandwich most mornings, exchanging money and only the words necessary to place the order...

Or describing it to your classmate who had a choice between Fruit Loops or Cheerios or Pop Tarts every morning...

So when the author of the above quote writes paragraphs like:

• "Come on, nobody really cares about my story! ...most people are truly not interested in my way of life ...if they have never had the experience of living internationally in China, Cameroon, Chile or wherever, they will not understand or want to understand my day to day living and how that experience has impacted my life. The frame of reference for understanding is just not there and many of us just get weary of trying to explain ourselves..."

• Or "I don’t want to “cast my pearls before swine.  ...our experiences as an international person are precious to us. Oh sure, we may tell a story on occasion if we don't think we will get the rolled eyes or the blank stare. But by in large, we keep the really personal, meaningful things to ourselves or share them sparingly and only with those who [might try to] 'get it.' The lessons learned, the personal transformation, and all the pain that goes along with that are like pearls to us. We take these pearls out on occasion and enjoy them and may even let others see them, but they are ours, and they are priceless. And we cannot simply lay them out there for anyone to use or abuse."

I empathize completely. I think most cross-cultural workers who've chosen or been called by God to travel this road of the expat, third-culture lifestyle have tried, at some time, to share, to help someone understand and get just a glimpse into this very different life, this world with nearly unimaginable-until-you've-been-here tastes and sounds and smells and sights... and been met with distracted listening, half-hearted "um-hmms, that's interesting," the panic that the listener is actually bored to death and he/she is just being polite... or even worse, strong criticisms, dismissals or accusations of foolishness by hearers about our adopted world and culture that is deeply loved, appreciated and embraced - both the good and bad.

 

Not only that, the woman who wrote the above quotes is an expert. She knows what she's talking about as she has related to and tried to help so many who've lived this life, especially children.

I know my children will experience... already have experienced... all of this. Sharing about their crazy life as an MK is exposing and leaves them vulnerable, open to rejection, wondering if people care, knowing that they don't fit in worse that the normal teenage not fitting in, and not quite sure what to do to bridge the gap... By following God's call on our lives, we parents have placed our children in this position.

Initially, I really didn't like this fact - that God's call on our lives would result in this sort of wrestling for our children. My perspective has changed as I've realized that God has not just called Tim and I... He has called our family and our children each play vital roles and parts in the ministry He has given us. I've also learned that this type of struggle, discomfort, stretching and growing through these types of experiences really is okay... because it is part of their growing up process. It is still a part of my maturing process.

At the same time, though, this reality troubles me. We are trying to teach our children to be authentic... to be real... to not be afraid of sharing from this incredible wealth of experiences - good and bad, scary and exhilarating, discouraging and uplifting, with which God has gifted them. Clamming up, choosing not to share, not to reveal their God-orchestrated uniqueness, partially due to where they live, how they've grown up and the life they've experienced? They will battle that temptation... a way of thinking that is  "all about me, my needs, my protection, my fears, my security, my treasures... me and what is best or easiest for me..."

I know, because I find myself in that place so often, and it truly is impossible to  serve God and others when I'm the center of my universe. Unfortunately, but for God's gracious and continuous intervention, that seems to be my default position.

I'm curious... how do you respond to the above quotes - and I'd love to hear from my homeland friends, too!