25 March 2011

Mulling on... Musing over...

"I fought the temptation to tell my son how I felt about his choices, to punish him with my anger and frustration, but I was silent. In a rare moment of clarity I felt my gaze go beyond the moment, beyond the disappointment of right now to a wider view. There in front of me sat a boy who carried his birth mother’s sins in his brain and body. I could see the future stretching out before us and all the labels he would likely wear: throwaway kid, failure, loser, screw-up. It pierced me through..."
"Raising your own flesh and blood is this exercise in seeing how dirty your flesh is — and how direly you need the blood of Christ."
"As a woman, it has been hard sometimes to work within the greater community group. I am a oddity to them. It boggles their mind to think that I might be educated and competent and run a business, teach etc. I am not the typical stay at home quiet mom they are used to. And i think for many reasons that is good. Women here need people to encourage them, model a healthy balance and their rights, and to fight for their own freedoms and to give a good example. But I also know it is something I need to be aware of. I cannot lead the men’s group forward in development. And yet no women come to the community meetings. So frustrating to want to work with them and yet find they hide away their women. It takes a very long time and a deeper level of trust I think before the community on a whole opens up their 'jewels' in women to outsiders."
  •  "Just Trust?" (Remember saying... or thinking... "I'll never tell my kids to do something just because I said so?" That's what I was thinking of as I read this.)
 "My friend told me about a sort of war of words he had with God while praying earlier today. God tells him, 'Trust Me. Trust Me. Trust Me.' Just that, over and over again. Finally my friend got worn down and said, 'Okay, trust you for what?'

'Nope. Just trust Me.' "
"Thinking I merit reward is a slippery place to stand, but often I plant myself wobbly knees shaking in that very spot..."

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