What if...??? And it's leaving me feeling just a bit jumpy these days...

It has been a wierd several weeks - challenging in ways I wasn't expecting...

• The security situation in Niamey has been up and down, including a scare a few weeks ago while Tim was out of town. It turned out to be based on information that was unconfirmed... but it upset "the new routine" for a few days and started me asking a lot of "what if" sorts of questions...


• Last week, about 20 minutes before I was scheduled to leave and pick up the kids in our carpool then head across the river for school, we started hearing loud explosions over near one of the markets in town. Elections in a few days... the past history of coup d'etats in this country... the recent political unrest in countries to the north that has seemed nothing short of contagious - we decided not to leave the house until we knew what was going on. It turned out to be an accident at a gas station and what we were hearing was gas bottles exploding. Tragically, several lost their lives. I, again, was preoccupied with "what ifs..."
  
• Just yesterday, I got up a bit before five to fix breakfast for my gang ~ I usually love that still quiet time to work without tons of questions, such a lovely time to meditate and pray. Yesterday, Monday morning, I'd just started peeling potatoes when horrible, angry shouting began in the yard next to us. The noise and commotion was taking place literally 10 feet or so away from where I was standing... right outside the kitchen window and on the other side of the wall. After several seconds of angry shouting and objects being thrown, I heard what sounded like a gun go off followed by more commotion and shouting. We found out this morning that the people who live next door chased off a thief who had broken into their house, and they did fire their gun to do so. He got away. Thankfully, everyone else - except Tim, who heard the gun and came running - slept through the noise and craziness. But again - I started the day (the week) with events that left me feeling fragile, unsteady and on-edge all day long... wondering "what if...?"

Each time, it is getting harder to shake off that vulnerable, on edge, "what if" feeling - wondering if I will accept God's sovereignty if He allows something scary to truly touch my family, those I love - especially as I'm prone to try and "buck up" and keep on keeping on in my own strength. And maybe I'm not supposed to just shake these things off? Serious, scary and bad things happen in this world saddled with sin. That is real. Yet I'm commanded to be anxious for nothing - not to find my stability and steadiness in things that are seen, but in the Sovereign One Who, although He is unseen, the evidence of His hand is imminent everywhere.

So I'm trying to focus on those "whatsoever things..." I do believe, I do know that God is in control. He knew all of this would happen... He knew I would find it scary and would be tempted to let anxiety reign...

AND

He cared enough to prepare me ahead of time

with the very Scriptures that can encourage and carry me through,

if I will but stay my mind on them...

on Him...

If you think of it, I'd appreciate your prayers, too.