Five Minute Friday ~It wasn't what I expected to see at the park yesterday

We went for a walk yesterday. Across the street to the bike path, through the Indian reservation, across the St. Charles River on the old-railroad-trestle-converted-to-foot/bike-traffic-bridge where we stopped for a few minutes to watch the rapidly flowing water. Then, we turned off the bike path to follow a different path that runs parallel to the river, and heads toward a park and playground where our kids always enjoy a few minutes to romp. Greening grass, sun peaking through the clouds, and gently blowing breeze - it really was a beautiful day for a walk.

Not too many meters in front of us was an elderly gentleman walking his dog. Although it was nothing more than a small "lap" dog, I noticed the man tensing, appearing hyper aware of my little girls rapidly skipping his way; he moved to make sure that he blocked the dog's direct path towards my girls. I motioned to them to move off the path, giving the man and his dog a wide berth and also giving them the subtle message that this wasn't an occasion to see if they could stop and pet the animal. Animal-fanatics that they are, they were too intent on reaching the playground to consider a protest.

We hung around at the playground for 20 minutes... maybe a half hour. There was only one other family hanging out - two women with three young girls dressed in matching school uniform jumpers and leggings. After several minutes, the older man and his dog reappeared. They had almost completed a circuit following the perimeter of the playground - but instead of continuing along that path, he decided to cut through the playground before heading back the direction from which he'd originally come. He'd just about rounded the corner when one of those little uniformed girls noticed his little dog. She respectfully ran up to him and started to speak to him. I wasn't close enough to hear the conversation, but the man knelt down and securely held his dog, close to his body with its head directed away from the girl while leaving his back exposed so that she could gently scratch its back. At that moment, the two other little girls came running up - also wanting their chance to pet the dog - but one of them approached from the side where the dog's head was. She reached out to pet it. It promptly snapped at her, catching her with its teeth... or perhaps even biting her. She immediately started to scream and cry - at which point the mother, who'd been sitting on a swing next to her friend and busy on her cell phone - looked up. The little girl when running towards her mother. The two other little girls jumped back from the dog with terrified expressions on their faces. The horrified and worried man immediately ran to the mother to let her know what happened and they spoke for a few minutes. He left the park and the little girl continued to sob. Eventually, her mother took her up to their car, where they pulled out a first aid kit while the other woman put down her cell phone to watch the other two girls.

I was immediately plagued by two very judgmental questions...

• Why in the world walk a dog - with the potential of aggressive behavior around kids - through a playground?
• Why take your kids to the playground if you aren't going to enjoy watching them play and aren't going to keep an eye on them regarding potential dangers?

...because

• while I love dogs, I also tend to be quite vigilant when it comes to potentially aggressive dogs after having owned a little one that became less and less tolerant of unknown children as she aged (and resulting in me being on the receiving end of a few bites when I ran interference) and after a few scary incidents between my oldest and unknown dogs - many years ago now. 
• after all of the vitriol via social media and ensuring the safety of children (i.e. public bathrooms), it seems obvious that when you take your children to a location where an increased potential for danger exists, you must be watching and at the ready to protect them should the situation so warrant.

My judgmental attitude resulted because I held others to the same expectations of behavior that I hold for myself... with nothing more than a cursory surface knowledge of their reality. 

As I've thought about what I observed and my reaction, I've realized that the elderly gentleman probably expected to be able to control his dog so that he wouldn't have to disappoint a really cute little schoolgirl sweetly asking to love on his pet. He didn't expect another child from the same family to run up from his blind side and assume she could touch his dog without permission... I've also considered that the mother, like myself, didn't expect someone with a more aggressive animal to take that animal for a walk through a place typically set aside for children and that perhaps her involvement with her phone included making plans to best care for her children. 

Obviously, our expectations will greatly influence choices - right and wrong, selfish and sacrificing, knowledgeable and ignorant - that we make, potentially leading to positive and/or negative results and outcomes. 

It isn't wrong to expect... 

Sometimes what we do with those expectations is, however.

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If you think you might like to join this week's Five Minute Friday, check it out here!

wanting to be both wise and graceful

You know this, my dearly-loved brethren 

...let every one be quick to hear, 

slow to speak, 

and 

slow to be angry.

Weymouth New Testament

James 1.19

With the arrival of the really, really hot season... lots of power cuts... and Mom and Dad with very busy schedules that precludes lots of afternoons at the pool, the littlers have started rewatching the Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman episodes that we still have hanging around. While they've watched, I've been busy working away in the same room, sorting books, working on IEPs, folding laundry, planning road trips back to Michigan from California...

I've not been watching, but I have been listening.

I've noticed two things:

1. First, while I still thoroughly enjoy the show, sometimes the dialogue alone, without the visual/video component, is pretty cheesy.
2. Second? Many of the characters on the show are generally two dimensional, predictably reacting instead of thoughtfully responding, only looking at issues and circumstances from their singular point of view, sure of the correctness of their opinions and the exclusivity that their opinion is the only right way to look at an issue, and very, very, very vindictive - actually taking enjoyment in another's punishment or seeing a sinner live his/her consequences. Characters, for the most part, are entirely unwilling to walk a mile in another's shoes or to even consider considering the world from a different perspective.

And so I'm listening, and I'm thinking, "Ouch!"

You see, I like to think I'm fairly open-minded and slow to act on internal judgments and my tendencies towards critical attitudes... but in reality I'm guilty just like those fictional Colorado Springs inhabitants, a lot more than I'd care to admit. It might be the temptation to leave a snarky comment on a blog... or respond similarly to one left on my blog. What about my immediate response to a situation at work I don't like? Do I assume it was done that way just to irritate me or impede me in my responsibilities? Someone says no to a request and I can't accept that it is because they are genuinely busy, but rather that they don't like me. You publicly disagree with me? Why is it that my first (interior, where thankfully it usually reamains) response is thinking about vindictively and publicly attacking you back? 

I'm good at talking about grace, recognizing God's grace, expecting and even demanding it from other people when I want it offered to me... but  then never REALLY want to go through the work of generously giving grace to others, of assuming best intentions (or at least not evil directed toward me personally),  or of trusting in the possibility that God is doing a mighty work within that other person - even when I don't understand or agree with all of their stands, decisions, actions or words.

Seems to me that wisdom is also a very important component of grace, at least the kind of grace that comes from God, so out of curiosity, I did a search of Bible verses that included those words, wisdom and grace, in this sort of context...

And the child grew, and waxed strong, 

filled with wisdom: and the grace of God was upon him. 

(Luke 2.40)

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; 

teaching and admonishing one another 

with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, 

singing with grace 

in your hearts unto God. (Colossians 3.16)

- I've never considered this verse in this context before... Comments? -

For our glorying is this, the testimony of our conscience, 

that in holiness and sincerity of God, 

not in fleshly wisdom but in the grace of God, 

we behaved ourselves in the world, and more abundantly to you-ward.

(2 Corinthians 1.12)

And Jesus advanced in wisdom, and age, and grace with God and men.

(Luke 2.52)

...In whom we have redemption through his blood, the remission of sins, 

according to the riches of his grace, 

Which hath super-abounded in us in all wisdom and prudence, 

That he might make known unto us the mystery of his will, 

according to his good pleasure...

(Ephesians 1.7-9)

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How do I become wiser and more graceful? 

And very specifically: how do we gently hold ourselves and each other accountable for wise and graceful online interactions and communications?

(The picture in this post is a screen shot from the first season episode entitled Law of the Land.)

~ a wee hours of the morning update ~

It has been awhile….

A way too long while….

I’ve discovered that I not only like blogging, but that it is therapeutic, at least for this particular misso…

I have every intention to return to blogging as soon as I can…

Just so you know… we aren’t AWOL… our digital absence is not voluntary… it is forced…

And the craziest thing about it? Right now is the best internet we’ve had at our new house (we’ve been using a service provided through cell phones, but it is pretty  much limited to email and sporadic facebook) since we moved in nearly a month ago – and I’m sitting in the dark at 4:31 a.m. wondering if/when the power will come back on, enjoying some sort of internet connection and making granola by candlelight since I couldn’t sleep.

Please pray with us that the phone company decides to take care of whatever problems persist that are making it impossible for us to receive the internet service… for which we’ve already paid.

And, in case you were wondering?

THE NEW HOUSE IS AWESOME!

I can hear the river right along with the clacking of computer keys… and there’s a lovely breeze coming through our front door.

Internet service means pictures… so pray with us!!!

Hope to post again... consistently... soon!

Our saga of what I learned about Intermittent Internet when God taught Elsie Mae (and her mama) a lesson involving Isaac's wells...

Why don't I just go ahead and start with the bit about Isaac's wells...

Not too many days ago, I was working with Elsie Mae on her Bible lesson, and we came to one of those passages of Scripture (Genesis 26:12-25) that I've wondered (seven times now, as I'm on my seventh time working my way through the curriculum): "Why does God includes this story in the Bible?" I guess it could be there simply as an account of key events in the life of Isaac, but really, it just seems a transition from the story of Isaac lying about Rebekah to Abimelech and his later covenant with Rebekah. But crazy as it sounds, this time through the story, my little 4 year old pointed out how that time of transition was perhaps, one of the higher points - as far as obedience, trust and following the Lord - in the life of Isaac.

If you are all confused now, I don't blame you... let me try and explain. Genesis 26:1-12 starts off with a famine in the land and Isaac looking for a reliable way to provide for his family. So he heads for a powerful nearby king and God speaks to him, warning him not to head to Egypt, but to stay in the land and God would provide.

Perhaps God gave him this warning because he knew that sons often repeat the sins of their fathers, and He wanted to protect Isaac from the sins that Abraham committed when he fled to Egypt. Yet we see that Isaac did not trust completely - he relied at least some on his own wisdom and understanding. He obeyed and stayed... and repeated the sin of his father, lying about Rebekah and calling her his sister instead of his wife. Thankfully, God eventually revealed Isaac's deception to the pagan Abimelech, who acted more honorably in this situation than Isaac, and protected Rebekah when her husband didn't. I've always thought that must have been an amazing moment in Rebekah's wife, realizing that God moved in the heart of a powerful pagan king to protect her and her reputation when her husband failed to do so.

Sojourn in this land and I will be with you and bless you, for to you and to your descendants I will give all these lands, and I will establish the oath which I swore to your father Abraham.

 "I will multiply your descendants as the stars of heaven, and will give your descendants all these lands; and by your descendants all the nations of the earth shall be blessed;

 because Abraham obeyed Me and kept My charge, My commandments, My statutes and My laws."

And now here's the part that Elsie Mae found so interesting ~

God keeps His covenant and blesses Isaac. Isaac's wealth and power frightens Abimelech and he asks Isaac to pack up and leave. Obviously, if Isaac's "potential" frightened Abimelech, then he had some capacity to fight back or at least argue his right to be there. After all, he was where God had told him to be. He didn't.

He moves away and in some senses, is starting over in a new place. One of the first orders of business is digging a new well to provide water for his family and his herds. The well immediately becomes a source of contention.

So he leaves that well and digs a second one. It, too, results in conflict between Isaac's men and the local herdsmen.Once again, he moves away to dig a third well and this time, as Isaac says, "At last the LORD has made room for us, and we will be fruitful in the land." No one protested and Isaac is confident he has found the place where God wanted him to pitch his tents.

I loved (please sense some sarcasm here) Elsie Mae's question at this point: "Mama, why do you think Isaac didn't fight and stop those bad guys from wrecking his wells?"

Um.... it isn't nice for four year olds to spring such deep questions on their unsuspecting mamas, so I did what all teachers have learned to do when asked a question and they have no clue of the answer - turn it right back around at their student. I told Elsie Mae, "Hon,  I'd rather hear why you think Isaac didn't fight over the wells and instead kept finding and digging new ones."

Her response floored me. She said, "Isaac 'as like Jesus. Jesus didn't fight dose bad people back who nailed Him on da cross where He died. Isaac made Jesus smile I dink, 'cause he let "uh"der people get their way and keep peace 'stead a pickin' fights.... (long pause) Dat's hard to do, Mama. I fight wif my Mary Michelle an Jonathan more dan I givin' dem deir way. I need let God fight for me. God musta been happy wif he. God talked to him again right after dat."

She was spot on. After Isaac dug that well, the Lord reappeard to Isaac, renewing His covenant with Abraham and now Issac - and there it says that Isaac called upon the name of the Lord.

I love it when the Holy Spirit teaches my kids - He does such an amazing job that I can't even come close to approximating! I love it almost as much when my Heavenly Father clearly speaks to me through the voices of these kids He's placed in our family. Frankly, I think Elsie Mae needed to hear that message - but not nearly so desperately as I did.

One of my biggest, piddly frustrations this past year has been one of those things that is not life threatening or changing but something that simply that irritates, inconveniences and annoys, driving you crazy until at some apparently little thing it all crashes in and you blow your stack and pity the soul who happens to be in the vicinity at the time that happens. It is one of those occurrences that just shouldn't happen, but it does anyway and there is seemingly nothing you can do to stop, change or prevent iut. Anyone else relate? Do you ever run into situations like that?

What frustration you ask? Internet service. It is there one minue and gone the next. Usually, all we ever have to do is call the phone company, inform them that our internet isn't working, hear them tell us that we need to pay our bill, then we remind them that we have paid the bill... it is, in fact, paid through the first part of June... hear silence over the phone and then the voice comes back... "Oh, you are absolutely right. Check your internet service now. It should be working."

I could understand that happening once or twice... but we actually went through a stretch recently where we were calling our internet service every few days... one day several times that day alone. It just shouldn't be that way. I wanted to stomp into the office, show my paid bill, demand to see the person in charge and find out why this kept happening. But that wouldn't have been Isaac's way, at least not according to this story. Sadly, it is my first tendency - not just with internet service providers, but also with co-workers, students I teach, my husband, my kids, neighbors, people at church who ask for help, etc...

In those moments, Isaac held his wells loosely and chose peace and not fighting back, even when he clearly had reason - he could have made a convincing argument that God's will was to claim what was rightfully his - even when doing so inconvenienced him greatly... As we've been learning lately, in real life, digging wells is not an easy or convenient process, even in this day and age. God was pleased with Isaac's choices and He blessed.

Sadly, though, the well saga moves into the account of a covenant Isaac makes with Abimelech. It is one thing to lay aside our rights and expectations to accomodate those in this world around us as we pursue a path of peace. It is another thing to enter into a covenant relationship with one who does not recognize our God under the guise of peace but with the additional motivation of personal material gain. Isaac already had God's promises and blessing; he'd already demonstrated that he could live in peace with his pagan neighbors without covenanting with them. Of course the world seeks close relationship when benefits are clear. Affiliating with a man unmistakeably experiencing God's blessing was a wise move for Abimelech. The Bible, however, is clear about unequal yoking and there are always consequences. We see some of those in Isaac's life immediately. His favorite son chose two wives... he covenanted with two women... from the pagan world around them. And God's Word states that this "brought grief to Isaac and Rebekah."

Thankful, today, for lessons learned from my little girl and the reminder that I can choose to be at peace with those around, even when beliefs and priorities differ greatly. While I can't compromise convictions or clear commands, I can cede rights and desires for the sake of peace, allowing God to fight the battle in His way and in His timing... to thus please the only One Whose pleasure counts... and it counts for eternity.

Ever Elusive

...a DECENT family photo

where everyone is looking at the camera...

smiling (or with a "pleasant expression"

- Tim adamantly refuses to smile)

and able to all be seen...

Close, but no cigar...

Then on this one, it looks like Tori's head was a bad photo shop...

It wasn't! She came up with that position all by herself. She does "that" when she's trying to look cute.

And then, after several minutes, Jonathan starts to lose it and turns into a clown...

The only word for this attempt?

AAAAARGH!

We finally settled on this one!

Jon's goofy - but that is pretty normal, so...

that just makes this an authentic family photo!

Voilà!

la famille Wright

3 March 2011

(Thanks to Larry for the photos, Beth for the posing suggestions and help.)

Teach them Diligently

Sure, it takes longer...

... A WHOLE LOT longer...

...but lots of laughs are guaranteed

when you let your toddler be the one to load and unload the dryer.

+

Think of all she's learning

&

all you'll learn, too!

La Tortue

It only took Anna and I 1.5 hours to memorize her poem for school tomorrow... And that was about all I got accomplished. Oh well...

FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT FRIDAY: Patience

Another market photo by Ilby, a French volunteer who worked in Niger for a few years.

I'm going to try something I've not really tried before - writing on a particular theme on a particular day of the week. This particular subject is a theme that is near and dear to my heart right now, as I'm participating in a Bible study written by Beth Moore, Living Beyond Yourself, which is a study of the fruits of the Spirit. We are well into the study - I can't believe how quickly these 10 weeks are slipping by. Last week, we studied patience. Patience is one of those qualities we all KNOW we need more of, but very few of us REALLY want to go through the disicpleship lessons necessary that result in God demonstrating His patience through our lives... or at least we joke about not wanting to...

I've been mulling much over the following, from this Bible study. There are two primary words in the New Testament that we, who speak English, associate with patience:

• Endurance/perseverance - or patience in circumstances, motivated by hope.
• Forbearance/longsuffering - or patience with people, motivated by mercy and demonstrated by NOT judging and forgiveness. It is this second type of "patience" that is spoken of in Galatians 5.22,23, when we speak of patience as a characteristic of the fruit of the Spirit.

It is this difference that I've been meditating on and praying about, maybe because I'm continually seeing realizing just how true it is. I can persevere through circumstances because I know, in the long run, that circumstances are temporal and I have a hope that someday, they will cease. And while I don't have to, I can do so in my own strength. I just grit my teeth and keep on keeping on. I cannot, however, forbear and be longsuffering with the people around me, especially in difficult circumstances, unless the Holy Spirit is the one directing my thoughts and actions. I think that I can sometimes, maybe even often, act the right way, but I know and God knows that my thoughts and internal responses to trying people are not what they should be... and that they only will be if I am patience due to His might and His power working in me and through me.

Shopping at the market (hence the above picture) is one of those time that I see this so clearly. When in the States, I can walk into a grocery store, grab my cart and wander through the store searching out the items on my list, check out using the automated checkers and never have to deal with another person. It is not one of my favorite things to do, but I can survive it and I know it is necessary. Shopping in Niger is a whole different ballgame. We do have some grocery stores - but there will always be people with whom I have to interact: the guard at the door, the butcher, the guys stocking the shelves who've taken all the carts so I have to hunt one down before I can use it, the check out lady who wants to go through all the customary greetings and wonders how Elsie Mae is since I've not brought her into the store for several weeks, and the bagger who expects his tip for placing my purchases exactly where I told him I didn't want them... Then, there are the fruit and veggie stands where after you select your produce, you must check and make sure that they totaled everything correctly and barter the price down at least a bit because that is just what is expected... Or the shack around the corner from the house where you've always got a running account going because they never have the right change - and all of that has to be arranged when all you really wanted was to buy a few tablespoons of salt because you ran out before the end of the week... And finally, the full-fledged market experience, where little boys follow you around wanting to carry your packages for you or wanting you to give them a small "gift," the vendors who accost you to try to get you to look at what they have to sell, the never ending price debate game (and it is much more intense in the market), the fact that you are the only "foreigner" shopping that morning - so everyone wanders around to take a look, and of course, trying to understand and be understood in the strange mixture of French and Zarma that I resort to most times I'm at the market. In this last situation, I can muddle through the circumstances and the obvious interactions with people in what appears to be a pleasant attitude and good humor, and do so in my own strength. However, if I want my thoughts and internal responses to be pleasing to God, even a simple thing like buying groceries has to be done, filled by the Spirit.

And all in all, that is just one more little reason I'm thankful to be working and serving here in Niger: I'm dependant on God to even do my grocery shopping the way He'd want me to do it.

And now, after all that, I'm off to do my grocery shopping for next week... ;-)