One Proud Mama... of her TCKs

Fridays, I usually link up with Five Minute Friday... you know that "blogging thing" where a topic prompt is posted and participants write for 5 minutes, unedited, on whatever thoughts trickle... or flash floods... out, based on that prompt, and then link back to the original post.

I'm not participating today, because I want to take a minute to brag on my gang... and give a quick update as to what's up with them. Frankly, these musings are motivated by last night's "Gala de Reconnaissance" - or end of the year awards assembly at the kids' school. 

You see, I was really hoping we wouldn't have to go. 

I've done the awards assembly thing many, many times... Let's see... Brendan will be 21 in November and he started school when he was 4. That means I've been at awards assemblies for my Wrightling crew for 16 years - even more if I count  AWANA and also throw in the ones I attended to just be there for siblings, nieces, nephews... 

I get frustrated by the "everyone must receive an award so that everyone feels valued and appreciated" mentality yet at the same time, there are those 3 or 4 really exceptional students who end up dominating with 8 or 9 genuine and accomplished awards compared to the normal student's one or two participation certificates. I'll be the first to admit that my perspective is probably skewed - so I'm not pronouncing a judgement as to right or wrong; simply understand that I JUST DON'T LIKE awards assemblies. Because of this, I was super delighted to receive an email from the school that said we could swing by the office and find out if any children in our family were receiving awards; in other words, we wouldn't have to go and sit for three plus hours if no one was actually going to parade across the stage and shake the principle's hand and receive an award. Since we had visitors arriving from the States that day, I figured we had a pretty decent excuse to skip IF there was no real reason to be there. Please note the IF in all caps... even though I detest these assemblies, I am a pleaser and wanna-be obedient rule follower who always tries to do what I think others expect, even when I don't want to. So, in my mind, I needed a more legit reason to not be there other than a whiny "But I don't wanna..."

Much to my surprise (and, if I'm honest, disappointment), I was told that 4 of our 6 WOULD be receiving awards.

We WOULD be going. And our visitors, such good sports, WOULD be joining us. For the whole kit and caboodle. I baked a layered cake and had ice cream ready to serve at home afterwards, hoping to soften the blow.

It was an awards assembly.

It was the best awards assembly I've ever been to. Those in charge kept things moving. People weren't afraid to laugh at themselves. Improv seemed to be encouraged and kept everyone laughing. Kindergarten grad was included - and was completed in about 15 minutes. The orchestra's "musical selections" were frequent, used to help with transitions and short (read 30 seconds - 1 minute). Only the top students received awards. All of the participation and other recognitions had already been presented at school during the day, in a pre-gala celebration that was much like a class party.

It was still a three hour marathon with a 15 minute intermission, but it was okay.

I was glad I went.

Now, back to the bragging on my gang ~ Four received an award, and I was a proud mama. Especially when you see the comments that went with each award.

,

The student who has demonstrated determination and remarkable perseverance in accomplishing her goals. She has demonstrated, in the whole of her work, a desire to learn and the will to apply that knowledge, aestheticism, attention to detail, cleanliness and a high quality of work as well as respect for her peers and for different artistic materials.

for her perseverance in the face of academic challenge and her desire to learn.

for her love for the Lord and her desire to serve Him.

for having met the academic requirements of two school years (Secondary 4 and 5), in French (her second language) with exceptional diligence devoted to her studies.

Yeah.

You could say I'm proud of these Wrightlings.

And just because Jon and Anna didn't receive a certificate, I've watched them work and progress and take risks and succeed - all year long.

Anna in Haiti

Anna working with a team and painting a school in Haiti

M&M and Elsie Mae at a park on the Wendake reservation in Quebec

Tori, playing the monkey at a park in Quebec

Bren, with college friends

More of the same

Tori with soccer buds

Rebekah and friends

Nadia and classmates on wear-your-pjs-to-school day... a really cool tradition here in Quebec

Rebekah, hard at work (??) at her school coffee shop/student center this past year

M&M's class participating in an all school painting project... and dressed in garbage bags

our soon to be graduated one

Little munchkins... just two summers ago.. Elsie's rocking some TCK style... sundress and snowboots

Jon enjoying the a Quebec fall

One of the "describers" or characteristics used when talking about TCKs is that they experience loss, lots of it, and as a result of choices not their own. And it is true. My Nadia walked out of school yesterday afternoon in tears. I asked her what she was feeling and she said something like this: "In Niger, it took me 3 or 4 years after switching to Sahel (the international school, with other TCKs) to feel like I belonged. And we left. Then in Michigan, I was feeling a part of things after two years. And we moved here. This year, I've made some great friends and feel a part of this class. But we're all graduating and going different directions. They are great friends and I'm going to miss them. These goodbyes are hard." I cried with her. I think Anna and Tori were a little teary eyed, too. The littles just begged to continue with the next "Adventures in Odyssey" episode. Believe me, I know all too well that this is a hard as in ripping-your-heart-apart-hard part of their lives as I try to listen and love my gang through these sometimes moments, sometimes seasons.

I find it sad that this seems to be the most discussed, almost to the point of ad nauseum, aspect of their lives. Because it is only a part of the TCK experience, and may not even be the defining one - certainly not for all. 

But back to that conversation with Nadia. 

After a few minutes of tears, I asked her who she was talking to as they were walking out of school. She named her friend and she said they were talking and crying and commiserating together. Her friend is not a TCK - but they were both sharing the pain of impending loss together. And I really don't know if my girl has said more goodbyes... had more grief and loss in her life than her friend. I did follow up with another question. I asked Nadia why she was able to make deeper friendships faster with each place. Her response was insightful: "Because I've matured and I've gotten better at figuring out what I have in common with people. It is easier to make friends when I find something that can be a bridge."

I guess as a mama to my TCKs, I know there will be grief and loss. I guess I don't think we have the corner on that market, however. We try and deal with all the grief, the loss and those never ending transitions when needed and for as long as needed. But we don't want to let that define our family. 

It was eye-opening for me to see, at this awards assembly, what bridges others perceive my children to be building. They weren't necessarily the ones I would have expected... or even felt to be their natural areas of talent and inclination. 

I also know that my crew agrees with a sentiment currently circling among several of their TCK friends... who are spread across at least 6 continents: "How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard." (AA Milne as Winnie the Pooh). That's their words, not mine (although I guess they could just be parroting words to keep up some image that they feel they have to project ~ I don't think so). That "something" is those past friendships with such a wide variety of people  and is what allows them to build bridges, resulting in new relationships that may blossom into new friendships.

The Enigma of Educating our TCKs

  

As a relatively large family (eight children spanning 13 years) that’s been on the mission field, essentially since the turn of the century (15 years - long enough to be considered career), we’ve tried several different education options: homeschool, local language schools, private school, public school, online school… We’ve not yet used the boarding option at a boarding school (unless you count our university aged kiddos living in a dorm, but that’s still a whole different ballgame). And, in fact, when we first left for the field, I would have told anyone who asked that home school was the plan, but also that boarding school was the only option NOT on the table. 

Now?

I would tell you that any possible option that presents itself makes its way to the table as a topic of discussion…

People have asked us before about our education plan/philosophy, and I used to think I had it pretty well figured out – actually, mapped out – before our first reached third grade. A special educator with several years of experience in the classroom… a professional trained to look at the individual skills, abilities and needs of an individual student – and one who was fairly good at what I did… I figured those skills would naturally transfer to figuring out an exceptional and best educational plan for each one of my own children. Since I was the professional educator, my husband – although always an active contributor to the many conversations – essentially followed my lead regarding what was best, educationally, for our children, although there have been compromises. 

I’ve discovered that it HAS NOT come naturally – because my own desires and dreams for my children often interferes with… even disguises… what might actually be best for them… educationally, emotionally, physically, socially… spiritually. Those best choices that I could see easily for someone else’s child weren’t nearly so obvious when it came to my own.  Sometimes, best choices actually get in the way of good decisions. Sometimes, we make what appear to be best decisions – only to discover down the road aways that we didn’t have all of the facts or experience necessary to know actually know what we were deciding…

We’ve I’ve made so many mistakes. 

I’m thankful for God’s grace and merciful children. 

Key questions we’ve started asking when it comes to making those educational decisions...

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If you'd like to read the rest, please join me @ Missionary Mom's Companion, where I posted this article last weekend!

Check it out!

Well... I'm back... and planning to be around more consistently... now. But no promises on how consistent that will exactly be! Why?

celebrating reaching the summit of La Chouenne

It has been a crazy nine months, and in the craziness, this place has been sadly neglected:

• 2 months of single parenting while Tim was working up in Quebec last winter
• An online class with a 2 week practicum (in Montreal... Yeah - Tim got 2 months and I got 2 weeks. Sound like a fair exchange to you?) But now I am Cambridge University ESL certified and hoping to use that skill here in Quebec.
• A Homecoming Queen and a graduating senior
• A "graduating" kindergartner
• "international"  company and some amazing visits from some wonderful people
• An international move - without the help of a moving company but with the help of a lot of amazing friends
• Learning a new place
• Settling two adult children into their lives far away - one studying Biology in Michigan and the other studying Missionary Nursing in Iowa
• Helping the other 6 children transition into school, in a foreign language (French) - just trust me when I say it is a lot of intensive work! I already knew how hard it was, but before it was always one child at a time. Now, it is that same amount of work times 6!
• A new church
• Another graduation year and making sure everything is in order for her to begin community college (studying elementary education) next fall, here in Quebec.

Yikes! See why there are no promises?

But I have missed this place ~  It is hard to think when I best think with my fingers on a keyboard and I've not had time to do so very much lately.

For now, though, the house is silent - except for my tapping away: Tim is away at the studio, busy editing programming for Aujourd'hui l' Espoir. The kids are all at school. And I'm at home, taking care of  "mom"-stuff, including figuring out ways to use leftover coffee as part of an afternoon snack! This quiet time at home is like a healing balm after the crazy busyness of recent months!

And, to launch it all, 

I'd like to call your attention to a new tab above 

called 

Longevity in Ministry...

If you have a minute to check it out, I'd appreciate any feedback you might have!

There's a short "teaser" below!

 A series 

~ first inspired by a sermon preached by the senior pastor of my sending church ~ 

It took much longer to write, went much deeper than I expected, and will, I believe, continue to mull around in my head and heart for a long time. I wanted to collect everything here... Just for that very reason. 

And I pray that God allows me a part in His work for as long as He chooses to keep me hanging around...

Longevity, defined in its most basic terms, refers to length of service or tenure. After all of the work, time, goodbyes and oft' painful transitions into new cultures and languages, those who call themselves international workers or missionaries typically hope to have long, productive careers. Just like a doctor wouldn't want to change career directions after one or two years of work, most career missionaries do not leave for the field planning to only stay one or two years. And while there are many legitimate reasons to change that plan - "leaving before we planned to" or even "without planning to" because something preventable prevents us from staying, leaving is something most of us would like to avoid.

We want to be able to say, right along with Paul: 

For I am now ready to be offered, 

and the time of my departure is at hand. 

I have fought a good fight, 

I have finished my course, 

I have kept the faith: 

Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, 

which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: 

and not to me only, 

but unto all them also that love his appearing.

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Click on the tab in the header above... or follow this link... to continue or for access to all posts in the series!

Singing ~ "The Walls of Zion"

Nadia and Rebekah, singing with their school choir

Mostly Wordless Wednesday ~ at least she's honest ~

~ a funny bit of Elsie Mae's classwork I stumbled across while cleaning and sorting ~

A little Sunday fun

Jonathan's class "performing" last Spring!

~ Homeward Bound ~

The 9th grade girls, including Nadia, sang this piece for MACS competition this past school year.

They won...

But tons more important than that is the message of this song that has been ingrained into my girly's heart... and mine...

The song still ministers to my heart, especially during those hard moments... days... 

Listen to the words ~ 

Mostly Wordless Wednesday ~ Still sharing photos from Spirit Week... Nadia's class for Storybook Day ~What was their theme?

The theme of their wall didn't match with their storybook day theme... just in case you were wondering.

Five Minute Friday ~ Release

M&M was my 8th K4 student.

I've had to be a bit careful of my attitude as I've watched those other mothers and fathers there for every field trip, every activity for their K4 kiddos.

I've not been - partly because I've been there, done that... several times. Partly because I had other obligations and things I needed to do with other kids that made it impossible. But the biggest "partly" had to do with the fact the M&M needed to gain some independence from me and not have me around for everything.

That didn't stop me from wondering, though, from time to time... and sometimes more times than not... what some of those other really involved-there-all-the-time mommies and daddies might have thought of me.

THIS... these pictures... was her last field trip of the year and was one of those ones that I did make.

I don't know that I genuinely think of these ordeals as fun, even under the best of circumstances - although I enjoy watching my little girlie run around and learn and interact with her friends and learn and then come running back to me to tell me what exciting thing she's discovered.

This trip was to a nearby children's museum. This piping display right next to the window was M&M's favorite exhibit. Mine, too... just because she enjoyed it so much.

Well... that's not entirely true. Because it is highly likely that I might have had just as much fun at this exhibit as she did.

The piping was some sort of a vacuum. M&M would pick up scarves and foam balls and put them in the tubes. Then she'd watch them be sucked through - literally flying along - and then they'd pop out to float or fling to the ground, where she'd either catch or gather off the floor to start the whole process over again.

At certain junctions in the piping, were levers that could be moved. That would change the pathway the scarves or balls would then take through the tubing as well as where they'd then pop out.

With each release, my littlest one stood there waiting, eyes up... wondering which pipe would then spew forth those items so she could run, try to catch, collect so she could do it all over again.

I'm not kidding you when I say she was fascinated. Like for 20 minutes fascinated. In a children's museum with lots of other things to potentially fascinate her. 

I was glad.

This whole scenario reminded me a bit of parenting.

There aren't any formulas... and I guess I no longer picture my husband and I as "launching" or "aiming and shooting" (as in the bow and arrow analogy) our kids as they're starting to grow up and move out and away and on to other things. Instead, it is feeling a lot more like M&M releasing those scarves into that vacuum... where then they are sucked away - almost violently.

We aren't exactly sure what paths they will take, whether they pop or fling or float - but as their parents, we can watch expectantly for when that happens - and then go from there...

Right?

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Linking up, a few days late, with Lisa-Jo for a Five Minute Friday write.

(adding all the photos too more than five minutes

Daddy spoils his teenage daughters...

It had been a hard night...

Daddy had to make a run to the grocery store.

He came back with

MmmURGENCY CHOCOLATE

For immediate relief of: Chocolate Cravings, Lovesickness, Exam Pressure, Mild Anxiety and Extreme Hunger.

Directions for use: Tear open wrapper, break off desired dosage, and consume. Alternately massage into the affected area. Repeat dosage as required until finished. If symptoms persist, consult your local confectioner.

It should contain a warning:

Instantly and immediately addictive. Patients will repeatedly and persistently beg for another dose. May even lead to temper tantrums or extreme behavior. Use with caution.