Showing posts with label Joy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Joy. Show all posts

19 April 2013

Five Minute Friday ~ Jump


We're getting ready to make a big jump... from life in Africa, hanging out on the backside of the desert, speaking usually 3 languages in the course of every day, being part of the minority and looking different from everyone else to life back in the middle of Michigan, with carpeted floors, lots of family, much cooler weather, speaking only English but forgetting and using foreign words all the time because they say it better, and looking like we belong but not really feeling it.


And sometimes the only way for me to make that sort of huge jump is to close my eyes, plug my nose and expect a shock - sometimes pleasant, often exciting, occasionally painful - but undoubtedly unavoidable.


Yes, I do have reason to hesitate... but there really is so much to look forward to.


But that's the greatest part of living life following Jesus. Those jumps may cause all sorts of jitters, but they don't have to incapacitate. I may be very uncertain about the landing, but I can be confident in Who will be there to help me either float or find my footing once again.


Which leaves me free to embrace the exhilaration of launching out into another new unknown, even at my age and stage of life.



So... where's the trampoline????


Anyone else feel like making a faith-leap with me?


*******************************************

It's another Friday, another link up chez Lisa Jo, and as you can see - today's word was JUMP! Seems like we've done that word before, but I certainly didn't have all the great sand dune leaping photos at my fingertips.

You should jump on in to the fray yourself. Head over to Lisa Jo's, check out the "rules," and join us! Look forward to meeting up with you over there!

14 March 2013

Updating ~ What's up with these kids of ours: Jonathan


No, we don't yet claim a hedgehog as a child.

Our kids might like that, though!

They're all, Jonathan included, keeping an eye on the hedgehog obstetric triage that has moved into the storage room off the carport, though... and trying to keep the cats out so the newborns have at least a fighting chance!


Hedgehogs are one of those "favorite things about living in Niger" for our kids. How can you not fall in love with something so adorable, right? 

That's very much the way I feel about our Jonathan.

He's enthusiastically all boy: 

He loves to:  
  • run and play, 
  • ride bikes, 
  • dig in the sand, 
  • throw mudballs at walls he when and where he shouldn't be, 


  • catch critters, 
  • play computer games, 
  • monopolize both games of strategy and chance, 
  • build tree houses out of banana leaves, 
  • chase the goats, 
  • harass the cats, 
  • wrestle with his big bro and any of big bro's friends who will humor him, 
  • swim,
  • dive,

  • throw a softball around,
  • hang out with his friends, 
  • go to parties at his friends' houses,
  • play and build with legos,
  • love on his younger-than-him friends,
  • watch Star Wars animations Brendan downloads from the Internet,
  • invite company over for dinner... or doughnuts... or on a good day - only a movie - without warning his mama first,
  • watch Tom and Jerry and giggle at the antics until all of the rest of us have sore tummies from laughing so hard at his unabashed giggling, 
  • chase everyone else out of bed in the morning - especially on Saturday,
  • read,
  • and read his Bible.


He's a good student - although he hasn't yet developed the habit of completing his work with painstaking precision. He grasps concepts and ideas quickly, memorizes effortlessly and he wants to finish his work tout de suite so that so he can get back to the really important business of doing what he wants. That surprises me because he can be quite obsessively compulsive about other things... like always wearing socks with his tennis shoes, making sure his waistband ALWAYS covers his bellybutton, slamming and locking the bathroom door loud enough to wake me up at the other end of the house at least once during the night every night, and never being caught without his shirt on unless we're at the pool (that's for you, Gammie!).

He's a rotten dishwasher - but a great salsa maker (under the supervision of Mama), cake batter stirrer, bathroom picker-upper and he has the makings to be a pretty good laundry guy as well. I haven't let him try ironing... yet.



He usually gets dressed for school the night before after he takes his shower. That will have to change next year since I don't think the uniforms he'll be wearing will look as neat as they should if he persists with said habit. 

He likes to wear orange and red together... or go totally monochrome... and that drives me crazy. He thinks the dark blue fuzzy socks Air Maroc hands out on the airplane are super stylish. Help!!! 

He usually remembers to brush his teeth - except for those times he totally forgets for like... a week at at time...



He adores his big bro (with good reason) and we think he really does like his big sisters most of the time even though he tells us he only puts up with them. He, Victoria and Anna actually get some pretty great imagination games going on when they are outside directing the two little girls and coercing the goats, cats and dogs to participate.

He doesn't complain a lot. He can be running a sky high temp and feel really lousy and I won't have a clue until I give him a hug before bed or something. He's too busy being busy to let feeling bad slow him down. That scares me about him, sometimes. 

He does complain about little things, like when he's hungry or if I fix something to eat that he doesn't really enjoy. But he knows he has to take as many bites as he is old without complaining or I'll make him eat the entire plate... or bowl... or whatever. He doesn't like strawberries or raspberries - unless they are in jelly. Crazy, I know!  That fact alone makes me wonder if he truly got any of my genes. He thinks peanut butter on baguette is the only, truly genuine breakfast food - unless Daddy is willing to make pancakes. And then he puts peanut butter on his pancakes and drowns them in syrup (maple... except I recently ran out of maple flavoring so now he's stuck with brown sugar and vanilla)!

He is a genuine extrovert. He loves people and rarely meets a stranger or someone he isn't willing to like. He wants to see that everybody is included in games... most of the time... even his sisters. He thinks his daddy is the coolest guy in the whole wide world. Gentle, compassionate and loving, he helps take care of those younger than him. When he disappears, often we find him "babysitting" one of his little buddies at the playground or entertaining them in the kiddie pool.



He can be stubborn - once he gets an idea in his head, he perseverates (is that really a word?) on that idea until he drives others crazy. He is so competitive with board games that sometimes he tries to cheat and win. First he gets mad then hurt and finally sheepish when he's confronted about it. He has a gentle, mischievousness that endears him, unless it makes you want to strangle him, but that usually only lasts for a few seconds. Like I said, usually. He cries easily when he's overtired.


I expect him to miss Niger next year, especially two of his just about from birth friends that are on home assignment right now (it has been nearly a year since he last saw them already) and who we will not see again until who knows when. We leave for the States before they return to Niger. He talks about them... asks about them... often. He'll miss his new buddies from this year as well - especially a California guy, also in second grade who lives just down the hill. They hang out and play, almost every day.

He's an excellent student, a voracious reader and likes to get the best grade he can. I don't have to remind him to do his homework. He's totally on top of that all by himself. His biggest struggles in school next year will have to do with listening well (he has a tendency to hear only what he wants to hear or already expects to hear), completing his work carefully instead of as quickly as possible, and hopefully his classmates will be gracious with him as he continues to work on his speech and language issues. Improvement has taken place this year, but since I don't really know what to do to help him, I feel like we are only muddling through. I'm more convinced that this improvement comes from increasing maturity and not because of anything I've done other than remind him to try to say things properly and to practice a new sound once we figure it out.

Some specific prayer requests for Jonathan?
  1. We hope to see his speech will continue to improve and we will be able to resume speech and language services through the public school once we return to Midland and school starts back up.
  2. We are praying that he finds new friends, soon, and that he keeps his joyful attitude in almost all things.
  3. We expect him a hard adjustment as Brendan leaves for college and he becomes the only boy sibling  at home. I'm praying that he and Brendan find a way to maintain their big bro-lil' bro closeness, even from a distance.
  4. He has not had the opportunity to participate in organized sports the way most kids growing up in Midland have. Thus, his skills in those areas are behind where many of his peers are. Hopefully he will find a niche in something active that he loves.
  5. Not having the freedom to run and play all over will seem restricting to him. Pray that he adjusts graciously.
  6. Good health physically, emotionally and spiritually! With his tender heart, he can become sad. And he'll be going on 9, starting 3rd grade. At least in our experience, kids that age get sick a lot anyways and changing countries, continents and climates only exasperates that experience.


I JUST LOVE being this boy's mama!!!
What a gift...


12 March 2013

Updating ~ What's up with these kids of ours: Elsie Mae

Since our home assignment is imminent, friends and family are asking us how to best pray for our children as we prepare to bring them back to our home and plop them in the middle of Mid-Michigan; we do what we can to help them adjust, but basically, we try to trust God as He leads and hope for the best.

Doesn't sound too proactive to write it out that way, does it?

We're open for better ideas, if you have any?


Anyways, I thought I'd dedicate a post to each one of our school children - and maybe it would give you some ideas as to how to pray for these wonderful munchkins as well as the-not-so-much-anymore-munchkins that we commonly refer to as Wrightlings (It really is the perfect term for them, coined by our buddy Ryan! Thanks, Ryan!)

Since some of the bigger Wrightlings have been the focus of recent posts, I'm starting with our munchkin-est schoolgirl: Elsie Mae!


Elsie Mae is in first grade this year; the first thing that comes to mind each time I consider our 6 year old is that she LOVES people, LOVES her life and most of the time, she CHOOSES to be happy and to see the positive side of almost any situation. 

I even see that aspect of her personality in this collection of blisters. One of the "plagues" of harmattan season in Niger, at least for some in our family, are frequent cold sores and fever blisters due to the dryness. When these photos were taken, she had one on the inside of her front lip which cracked and started to bleed every time she smiled. Since she still wanted to be a part of the photo shoot, she told me she'd be pensive for the photos. I'm still trying to figure out where she learned and when she started using the word pensive... 


Her confidence and comfort in other people amazes me: she's never met someone who hasn't communicated to her that they like and accept her and therefore she feels sure that will always be the case. She loves to be liked, but she doesn't have to be "the favorite friend." She's open and instinctively trusts, assuming the best, and it affects how other people. I'm trying to learn from her...

Yet that scares me. I fear that she'll only end up hurt by other people, especially as she gets older. Part of my job as her parent is to help teach her how to be wise without losing that gentle trusting that is hallmark of her personality.


I don't know that school is ever going to come easy for my girl. She learns best by experiencing, by exploring, by exhausting possibilities on her own and relying on her intuition and interests to investigate. Her progress sometimes seems haphazard and then out of the blue, she demonstrates that she's got an advanced concept or a skill - without first appearing to master the building block skills that I would think first necessary.

She's a talker and loves to recount stories from her day at school. In fact, she gets her feelings hurt if I don't take time to ask her questions about her day and listen to her tell me her stories. She enjoys writing stories, usually about about a princess... named Elsie Mae, of course.


Socially, I think this gal is going to make a great transition to school and life back in the United States. Academically, we've got some concerns. She's reading, but she is not a super strong reader - a few levels behind where her teacher would like to see her, and that is in a classroom with several students learning English as a second language. Her writing appears immature; her illustrations look as though they are drawn by a much younger child - although we are seeing huge improvements when she takes the time to seriously focus and try. 


Math and learning subject areas (where she can listen or reason to grasp content) tend to be much stronger - as long as she can focus and responds/reacts thoughtfully rather than impulsively. At the same time, her intuitive and impulsive answers often show a greater depth of understanding than I expect. She struggles with some seemingly simple concepts like identifying rhyming words - while her overall grasp of the rhythm and music of language often astounds me.

She struggles with some speech and language issues. We had originally planned for her to attend a French language school. God intervened and her education, except for the standard French class a few times a week (and living in a French/multilingual world) has occurred entirely in English. In hindsight, I can clearly see that has been a good thing, even though I'm sad she doesn't understand a second language the way her older siblings do. I am expecting we will need to have her assessed for possible speech and language issues once we return to the States. 

I like this photo - my pensive girl couldn't stop herself from smiling in this one, even though it hurt.

She is a sensitive little gal, especially when it comes to physical pain. In fact, I'd call her a little wimpy. The sight of blood from a little scrape or a nose bleed can provoke a meltdown, at least until she is reassured that really, she's going to be okay. She is particularly concerned with fairness - as it relates to her and her situation. She'd count out the same number of peanuts for everyone to share and think that the best plan if I asked her to do so. And, like most her age, she likes to be a news bearer - especially if she thinks she can right an unfairness committed by one of her siblings.

Sometimes her immature or babyish behavior gives others the wrong idea about Elsie Mae for at other time, she comports with a maturity well beyond her years. She loves to watch out for her little sister while at the pool and will spend hours playing in the sand or with plastic animals. I can leave her in charge of Mary Michelle as the two of them dry dishes and put them away. She likes to help make pizza, clean vegetables, peel potatoes and carrots, knead bread, make cookies and make pancakes. As long as it is a manual job, she sticks with it pretty well, until she believes she has finished the task.


Please join us in praying for Elsie Mae over these next few months in particular:
  1. We hope to solve a few of the mysteries about how she learns best, why she struggles in some specific areas;
  2. We want to see her love of school and learning continue to grow, despite the hard-for-her things about school that discourage her;
  3. We need to evaluate her progress, pray much and determine the best educational option for her for next year;
  4. I hope to help her develop some strategies that will serve her well, regardless of how/where she ends up going to school next year;
  5. Her love for and unassuming acceptance and trust of people in general continues to be a strength in her personality; and
  6. Her understanding of God will continue to grow and deepen.

31 October 2012

A 31 Day Grand Prix {day 31} - Walk with Him Wednesday ~ Pressing on towards that grand prix...

Ann has offered the Walk with Him Wednesday crowd an opportunity to write and share what the Lord is teaching them about..."The Practice of Joy…. What does it mean to choose Crazy Joy? How do we authentically walk through hard times?" I've also participated in 31 Days of Change, which has added its own twist as on Wednesdays I've considered how an unfadingly beautiful gentle and quiet spirit, they type of spirit God deems lovely - encourages this practice of authentic joy regardless of the circumstances or how hard the times might get.


"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear." I Peter 3.3-6
I wrote earlier about how this verse first stood out to me while reading in my French Bible because the equivalent expression for "great worth" in the French was "grand prix." I don't know about others reading in a second language, but when you see a phrase that is recognizable in your mother tongue, it is like someone highlighted it for you in brilliant neon green or pink! And that was actually what started me along this 31 day adventure with the above verses. As a total aside, one of the neatest things has been spending so much time meditating upon and just dipping my big toe in the the deep waters of those 103 words.

Today, however, to conclude this series, I'd like to show you what else God's Word says about that phrase "grand prix...," or prize.
  • Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win. (1 Cor 9.24) -- Winning that prize is something I can work towards... and it isn't a given. I must work for it; I must conduct myself is a specific and diligent way to have the Lord hang that garland around my neck.
  • I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. (Phil 3.14) -- The prize spills out of the striving upward and moving towards the Lord.
  • ...let no one beguile you of your prize, delighting in humble-mindedness and in worship of the messengers, intruding into the things he hath not seen, being vainly puffed up by the mind of his flesh... (Col 2.18, Young's Literal Translation) -- Directing attention away from God towards other things, even those that seem to be good or heavenly in nature, hypnotizes and lures away, directing our focus from intentional pursuit of the grand prix.
  • Also if anyone competes as an athlete, he does not win the prize unless he competes according to the rules. (2 Tim 2.5) -- I've no hope of receiving the prize if I "do it my way."
  • ...in the future there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day; and not only to me, but also to all who have loved His appearing. (2 Tim 4.8) -- The prize is intrinsically linked to an insatiable desire for the indwelling influence and presence of the Holy One.
  • Everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things. They then do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. (1 Cor 9.25) -- Gaining the prize involves self-control, but its worth it for the celebration and benefits are eternal.
  • Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus. (1 Phil 3.12) -- This prize requires persistence and continuing effort... a never looking back or relent in the pursuit. It is a journey. The receipt of this prize is why Jesus first pursued me - He came after me just so I could "win" this grand prix.
  • but I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that, after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize. (1 Cor 9.27) -- I can disqualify myself by lacking in self-control and by hypocrisy, where my words and comportment  don't agree.
  • ...simply fixing our gaze upon Jesus, our Prince Leader in the faith, who will also award us the prize. He, for the sake of the joy which lay before Him, patiently endured the cross, looking with contempt upon its shame, and afterwards seated Himself-- where He still sits--at the right hand of the throne of God. (Heb 12.2, Weymouth New Testament) -- The prize requires continual movement towards the Lord. When I arrive, I wonder if He awards me with Himself?
  • For who is our hope or joy or crown of exultation? Is it not even you, in the presence of our Lord Jesus at His coming? (1 Thess 2.19) -- Our prize also incorporates those like-minded others who press hard to reach Jesus.
  • He who, while he was in the form of God, did not esteem this as a prize, that he was the equal of God. (Phil 2.6, Aramaic Bible in Plain English) -- This prize Jesus laid aside for a time, so that I'd someday have the opportunity to receive it.
  • Thus says the LORD, He that remains in this city shall die by the sword, by the famine, and by the pestilence: but he that goes forth to the Chaldeans shall live; for he shall have his life for a prize, and shall live. (Jer 38.2) -- Obedience and following the Lord are prerequisite, even when doing so insists on action that makes no sense to me or appears risky and dangerous. It is all about trust and movement towards God. It is also the only way to completely live and appreciate the gift of this life.
  • For I will surely deliver you, and you shall not fall by the sword, but your life shall be for a prize unto you: because you have put your trust in me, says the LORD. (Jer 39.18) -- Ummm... see my comment on the previous verse.
  • And seek you great things for yourself? seek them not: for, behold, I will bring disaster upon all flesh, says the LORD: but your life will I give unto you for a prize in all places where you go. (Jer 45.5) -- Seeking great things, prizes, for myself results in disaster from the Lord. He gives the prize... He is the prize.



Winning that Grand Prix, I'm beginning to think, means living a life filled with joy. Regardless of circumstances around and within, I am continually consumed by the presence of God through His Spirit. His Spirit gentles me,  teaches me, guides me, empowers me, both shows and enables me to trust... and I become less like the carnal me but more like the me He created me to be. I live more completely in unity with others who seek to continually move toward Him.

God places great value in this. It pleases Him.

When this is what He sees, He smiles and says, "Lovely!"


What will that be like???
...to hear the Heavenly Father say,

"My dear, the unfading beauty
of the gentle and quiet spirit 
you've allowed me to grow within you is 
simply exquisite." 

I can only imagine the joy.

What do you long to hear the Father say to you?

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(Photos, taken by a member of our community here, are of Elsie Mae and one of her classmates @ Sahel's Pep Rally before the NUTS, the annual softball tournament in October.)



24 October 2012

A 31 Day Grand Prix {day 24} - Walk with Him Wednesday ~ the "Czar" of our yard...

Ann has offered the Walk with Him Wednesday crowd an opportunity to write and share what the Lord is teaching them about..."The Practice of Joy…. What does it mean to choose Crazy Joy? How do we authentically walk through hard times?"

Allowing myself to be gentled by God is the only path to abiding and abounding joy.


I'd like you to meet Sasha.

He's beautiful.

He's independent.

His solid, pitch black fur and brilliant yellow eyes are impressive.

He inspires fear in many of our Nigerien friends who think black cats are evil.

He carries himself with such a regal air, we refer to him as "the Czar" of the yard.

So yes, he's haughty.

He can be social, but only in that catlike way - in his time, on his conditions.

Unless you are Rebekah. He seems to have a special understanding with her.

He's a predator.

If you are a lizard, rodent, snake, careless bird, teenage guy kitty or Mary Michelle, he is, more often than not, terrifying.


He reminds us of "Toothless," (from How to Train Your Dragon) in so many ways.

He's also stubborn.

In that way, he reminds me of me.
....................


God wants to see a gentle and quiet spirit, a beautiful spirit, evidenced in me. I have opportunity, for He has given me His Spirit... could there be a more beautiful spirit than His own, if I would but let Him shine through?

Instead I fight the circumstances, sufferings, difficulties - kicking and screaming and crying "O woe is me," at least on the inside and lots of times right out loud in my biggest voice! Any joy, delight, contentment and moderation I either refuse or am too distracted to see as it is plopped right in my lap...

Just like Sasha -

Most times we have to "trap" him, pull him up close to our face and scratch his favorite spots. He'll meow and fuss... and then relax, serenely stretch, close his eyes, gently lay his head against your shoulder as the cat-squeal transforms into a gentle, motoring purr of joy and contentment.

Maybe someday, joyfully, he'll actually choose that gentle, quiet posture.

And then again, maybe someday, so will I.
"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear." I Peter 3.3-6




22 October 2012

A 31 Day Grand Prix {day 22} - Multitude Monday - A 1000 Gifts ~ Today I'm thankful for the word INSTEAD...

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear." (1 Peter 3.3-6)
I decided over a week ago that today's post would examine INSTEAD. 

And I couldn't have known at the time just how perfect that focus would be...

According to Dictionary.com, instead has two primary definitions: 
  1. a substitute or replacement; in the place or stead of someone or something: We ordered tea but were served coffee instead.
  2. in preference; as a preferred or accepted alternative: The city has its pleasures, but she wished instead for the quiet of country life.
In the English translation of this verse, instead is an adverb. Therefore its job is to specify or further describe a verb. The verb in this case is an understood "Let it be," directly and emphatically contrasting with the "Let it not be," in verse three (that I've written about here). 

In the Greek, however, the original word translated as instead, grammatically is a coordinating conjunction, meaning it joins two things that are of equal importance). It is typically rendered as "otherwise, on the other hand, but, except, however, nevertheless, on the contrary, indeed, rather, and certainly." It is certainly interesting to take each one of those words and substitute it in for the instead and see what you get.
  • Your beauty should be that of your inner self... otherwise it will come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 
  • Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. On the other hand, it should be that of your inner self..,
  • Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. But, it should be that of your inner self...
  • Man's idea of beauty often comes from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes [which is, not surprisingly, how this world would believes]... except that it should come from that of your inner self...
  • Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. However, it should come from your inner self...
  • Outwardly, you may be beautifully adorned with braided hair, wearing gold jewelry and fine clothes. Nevertheless, true beauty should be that of your inner self...
  • Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. On the contrary, it should be that of your inner self...
  • Indeed! Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. It should be that of your inner self... 
  • Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self
  • Your beauty should certainly not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Your beauty should be that of your inner self...
Obviously, some of those "rephrasings" are more accurate and effective than others... but I've profitted from considering some of the different nuances contained in these alternatives.

Earlier, I mentioned that instead was a perfect word on which to meditate today... particularly for me. Here's why.

I had planned on and thought I was flying to Accra, Ghana on Tuesday of last week to participate in and lead a few sessions at an educational conference. God had opened up this unexpected and amazing door of opportunity - the type of opportunity I'd been praying about for a long time, enlisted the support and encouragement of my husband and my closest friends, and provided the financial means for me to go working out some amazing, crazy details at late dates.

I was nervous, but excited. I had my bags packed, my scheduled session presentations (notes, handouts and power points) prepared, devotional thoughts organized, lessons planned for Sahel students and for Anna. Tim was psyched... I guess... to single parent for the next several days (even agreeing to take on a few extras over the weekend so Sahel dorm parents could have a weekend off). Everything looked ready to go.



Then that word entered the picture.

INSTEAD...

Instead, the pilot and plane mechanic stopped by our house Monday evening. The plane we were to fly was having technical difficulties. They didn't feel it was a good idea to try and fly until those problems were resolved.

Instead of lifting up from the desert and landing near the ocean on Tuesday, I was trying to find a commercial flight from Niamey to Accra... however I had to go, detour or whatever.

Instead of fellowshipping with others who desire to encourage and equip expat parents working to educate their children to the best of their abilities in challenging and unusual circumstances, I was telephoning the organizer of the conference to tell her there were no flights available and that I wouldn't be able to make it.

Instead of sharing some of lessons God has impressed on my heart and things I've learned from my research, study and actual experience in these areas, I have continued with my regular routine of caring for my family, home schooling, and teaching at Sahel Academy.

Instead of feeling like I conquered, at least in a specific moment, that horrible fear of flying, I'm feeling a bit scared, insecure and uncertain - wondering what those conference organizers will think of all of my work that I emailed, without opportunity to present or comment: session notes, a copy of each handout, power point presentations. I'm still "Yikes-ing!" on that one!

Instead of saying goodbye to my husband and babies for several days, I've enjoyed snuggles and cuddles and tickles and laughs and heart to heart conversations this week... and have been begged to make donuts on Saturday.

Instead of maybe eating yummy foods that aren't so readily available here in Niamey... on someone else's tab... I was treated to a cheesy omelet with a quarter of a piece of bacon - Tim's way of saying "I love you."

The long and the short of it is... instead of a radically different,  expected fun and exciting week, I've had a relatively normal week filled with all the regular sweets,   delights and frustrations of being a part of this family and living and ministering in this place.


I wish I knew why. I wish I knew if I'd stepped outside of God's will, misread or rushed ahead and thus He had to clearly and decisively close the door. I wish I knew if this was a spiritual attack... and if it was, if I'll ever know the good God makes of it. I wish I knew what sort of an impression I've left with the conference organizers as a result... and if they'll ever invite me to participate again. At the risk of repeating myself? I have lots of questions. I just wish I knew some of the answers.

But I don't and I don't know if I will. According to these verses I've been studying, God will value, will call beautiful, a gentle and quiet spirit that does right in accepting joyfully and without fear, whether this is His mild chastising, a change to my plans to achieve His perfect plan, or temporary defeat Almightily turned to ultimate victory...

Or maybe, as one of my online friends wrote the other day... maybe...



What we set out to do 

may just be the dream 
God uses 
to get us where He wants us all along.

And that's where I want to rest.



this week's gratitude list:
(#'s 3212 - 3223)


the significance of INSTEAD

unplanned snuggles, cuddles, tickles and long talks

visitors for the weekend

making donuts, just 'cause

poutine with real (i.e. not maggi cube) chicken gravy... so delish!

spray bottles for ornery cats

powerful quotes from new friends

in depth Bible study

kids' Bible studies that have finally started

being given the grace to choose gentle acceptance, this time at least

safety and that I wasn't in the plane when the problem presented itself (although these guys are great pilots and even after there were problems, they landed safely and then chose the route of caution)

friends whose prayers were that I'd be able to find a way... but I think it has been those prayers that have carried me through the disappointment of instead





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