Five Minute Friday - Guide

What kind of person are you? 

• One who comes alive at those opportunities to strike out into the unknown without map or sometimes even plan? 
• Or one who meticulously makes lists, charts courses with Google Maps and sketches schematics to ensure that all luggage will fit in the back of the car - considering every possible detail determined prior to unlocking the front door.

I like to think I fall into the second category, at least mostly. Or that is what my personality profile says.

But... (there's always a "but," isn't there?)

I don't clearly and cleanly fall into one category or the either. I do make plans, sometimes quite detailed ones, yet I also crave unpredictable and spontaneous adventure. I (actually) find it exciting when my meticulously made plans are smacked awry by real life, almost relieved that I'm no longer "caged" by my expectations.

And hubby, who tends to be spontaneous and impulsive (hence the text message dinging on my cell most afternoons around 3:30 asking what he can pick up from the grocery store to grill - rain, snow or shine), becomes a mad list-maker before camping trips and family outdoor outings or micromanages wife when company is imminently expected.

Personally, I find that a plan frees me when I remember that it is nothing more than a guide. I don't know why it has taken me nearly 50 years to figure that out. Ever since I first started teaching (around the age of 12 - swim lessons), I'd create plans and very rarely follow them to the letter - or even close to the letter. 

(Five minute buzzer has sounded...)

(...but I'm continuing!)

A guide gives me security without strangling. A starting point and a base to which I can return without defining. A gentle shove in a direction without confining. Established borders bequeathing freedom to roam at will based on what's best in the actual moment.

That IS how I teach. I make a guide, prepare so that I know my material well, and then rarely actually even look at the plan during the actual lesson. The plan is always there, but off to the side, available but not a script I read. Occasionally I glance at it, making sure we are on track or using it to recenter if our tangent is too far off base...

I've been thinking about this as it relates to parenting young adults - those ones who are out on their own, but not completely.

We've all heard the complaints about how there is no parenting manual. How it is all on-the-job-training. 

But that isn't really true. 

We have the Bible, and there really isn't anything new under the sun (to quote a much wiser man than I). We have the wisdom of our own parents and others who've walked this path before us. We have our own life experiences. And we have our young adults who are rapidly gaining life experience as well. It is easy to forget that parenting these bigger ones is very much a cooperative effort - a partnership. We can offer suggestions, guidelines, ideas - but the follow-through and outcome really is up to them. Thinking of teaching your kid how to drive. Sometimes it feels safer with a checklist - but no checklist will guarantee specific outcomes, at least not when it comes to this partnership with those living, breathing young adults God has gifted us.

God gives parents to kids to guide them. Family, however, is not a little kingdom where Dad and Mom dictate all. 

Guiding, especially with these biggers, is much more a question of influence born out of mutual respect.

A respect we parents earn, beginning back in those beginning days of parenting.

Wordless Wednesday ~ Let's Go Fly a Kite... or Flop One, as the case may be!

Five Minute Friday ~ Rest

What about all the rest?

You know, that stuff that remains after the best or most important or loudest or priority or prominent or easiest and least resistant has been cared for or dealt with? 

Those two or three dishes that somehow find their way to the sink after everything else is washed up?

Or the bit of food that is left after dinner... the stuff that gets shoved into a container, pushed into the back of the fridge and then is forgotten until it starts to either grow again or stink really, really badly?

Or the junk that remains laying around my girls' bedroom (6 girls in one room really is recipe for a most of the time natural disaster-sort-of-mess... I know because I brave walking in there most mornings after they leave for school) when one of them comes and says "I've cleaned up my part. THEY can do the rest." 

And then I hear or read or even say words like these: 

• "We do not live in a spiritual welfare state. God is not going spend His time doing the very things He equipped us to do. We need to do our part and having done it, trust God to do the rest. That is the proper way of looking at troubling situations and pressing problems."
• "Seek to do the best you can with what you have available and then let go and let God take care of the rest."
• "Do your best and then have faith that God will do the rest."

I don't want to imply that those are inherently wrong or bad words to say, because they do contain important truth.

I do want to communicate that I'm uncomfortable with those words...  and what I know in my heart they mean if I would say them... at least today. (I despise my own fickleness at times.)

For...? They can also mean that what I do is the most important, the most key and critical part, at least in my mind. They can reveal that, in my head, I've set the picture topsy-turvey where somehow I'm in focus in the foreground and God is relegated to the nothing more than maybe interesting or worse yet distracting scenery. They point out my arrogance that generally I don't even recognize until it hits me full force in the face on days like today.

For what God does is never just (just as in by a narrow margin, barely, merely...)-- 

• a less than whole or insignificant remainder,
• a picking up of the bits and pieces I got too tired or disgusted or frustrated to deal with,
•  less important or noteworthy or commendable,
• the bit that will later be forgotten and spoil and thrown away because no one wanted it
• gather those never ending pieces that otherwise convince the job can never be complete...

I keep thinking of these words:

The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.  

Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior. But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation— if you continue in your faith, established and firm, and do not move from the hope held out in the gospel. This is the gospel that you heard and that has been proclaimed to every creature under heaven, and of which I, Paul, have become a servant. (from Colossians 1)

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Now it's your turn!

"Now, set your timer, clear your head, for five minutes of free writing without worrying about getting it right.

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back... and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community..."

Five Minute Friday ~ Wide

Wide…

 

Aren't those wide, bright orange eyes phenomenal?

They belong to a northern white-faced Scops owl, that we've recently had living with us. A friend told us that one of the markets in town had it in a cage for sale and that it was looking pretty traumatized.

Brendan asked, told us he had the money - and so Tim took him to get it.

This is the second time our oldest has tried to raise/rehabilitate one. He also spent several months caring for a Lanner falcon just prior to our last furlough.

The first time, he went looking for one and he cared for the owl for nearly a year before it ate tainted meat (we think) and died. The wings and tail feathers of that particular owl - Silver was her name (although she didn't like Tim and growled every time she saw him, so he called her Mrs. Grumpy) - had been so damaged when it was captured that Brendan knew after a very short time it would never be able to fly again. So he'd kill lizards with his slingshot to feed the bird and kept her in a cage in his room or on our terrace. He thoroughly enjoyed caring Silver - she was a magnificent creature. I think that his experience with Silver and a few other birds of prey he's helped rehabilitate is a part of his desire to study environmental science as he looks at heading to university next year.

We enjoyed that owl while we had her and we all learned so much... One of Brendan's friends was also rehabilitating a barn owl at the same time. Whenever the two were in the same proximity, Silver would puff, flare his wings a bit and make herself look nearly twice the size she really was. Apparently, this is an instinctive trait for these owls when feeling threatened by a slightly larger animal.

She responded totally differently with a much larger, or more aggressive (i.e. our cats) animal. Then she'd pull inward, stand up as tall and thin as she could, completely narrow her eyes and, seriously? She would actually look like a stick or a twig. Some scientists consider this a type of camouflage, or instinctive protective behavior. 

This is Brendan's senior year... most likely his last year in Africa for a significant time, at least... He was super excited to stumble on this amazing bird and to have the gift of another opportunity to work with one of these magnificent creatures. It doubly thrilled him to find that when this one spread wide its wings, they looked strong and the plumage appeared full and healthy. It could fly. So Bren figured he'd rescue, care for and work with it a bit (continuing to gain bird handling skills and pursuing his long-standing interest in falconry here, where it is much less regulated and more affordable) until the damaged tail feathers grew back. Then he hoped to release the bird, returning it to the wild.

Sadly, Bren noticed the past few days that the owl was very lethargic and last night, it refused to eat. 

This morning, it died.

We're all sad, Bren especially.

When you open your heart wide and risk: loving for, caring for and dreaming for eventual restoration and freedom... it hurts when less than that is the result.

Whether here... or elsewhere, I hope he has the opportunity to explore this passion again.   

Multitude Mondays - 1000 Gifts ~ Freedom is Accepting the Challenge to Esteem Others

I don't agree with everything Nelson Mandela said... but I totally love this quote:

"For to be free is not merely to cast off one's chains,

but

to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others."

 

Last night, at the Sunday evening service, we were challenged from 1 Peter 2 to "Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the king."

Both of these thoughts are complimentary ideas to contemplate this Independence Day... freedom carries with it a huge responsibility... politically and socially... but even more importantly, the liberty that Christ has won for me should compel me to treat others, specifically (according to 1 Peter) the earthly authorities God has placed over me, whether we think they deserve that honor or not. As we were looking at these verses last night, we were reminded that the "king" at the time Peter penned these words, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, was the Roman emperor, Nero.

Seems to me, these are timely thoughts as we are entering, once again, another election season...

And speaking of earthly authorities... it has been a joy this year to meet, on several different occasions, the American ambassador to our adopted homeland, Niger. She truly seems to love people and seeks to build relationships. Our kiddos were certainly impressed with her as they spoke with her last weekend, at the 4th of July celebrations held at the American International School Rec Center on Saturday.

Hope you enjoy the photos!

this week's gratitude list

(#s 1256 - 1284)

that I am a citizen of the United States

that I am a citizen of Heaven

reading Randy Alcorn's book, Heaven

a vibrant, energetic, friendly and personable ambassador to Niger

patriotic parades

our kids' designing and building a float for the parade - an activity that engaged and amused all week long

big bro and big sis... good sports with all this parade silliness and fun

our very own little "Miss Liberty!"

friends

picnics by the river

watching hippos

grilled dogs smothered in homemade chili and shredded cheese

sweet watermelon

chocolate raspberry mousse pie... delicious, and all the adaptations to make it work in Niger actually worked!

softball, kickball and apple pie on the fourth

catching up with friends I haven't seen for awhile

meditating on what it means to honor everyone - regardless of my feelings about any particular someone

the Holy Spirit's enabling power... for to esteem and venerate others does not come naturally nor easily

finally finding Zarma making sense

continued progress with the literacy class

an almost finished office building

19 days until they arrive

realizing that that it is OK that I'm not having much of a summer vacation, because I know I'm right where God wants me and serving as He wants me to serve

little girls... and bigger girls... wanting to exercise with a favorite "auntie"

summer nights watching movies, laughing and enjoying friends

this amazing place God has placed us - even when decent veggies are next to impossible to find in town

sleeping with the AC on... makes it feel like vacation

icy water in the cooler

reading my Bible on the back terrace, cool breeze rising from the river, butterscotch danishes baking in the oven - and kid giggles when they find that treat for breakfast

Eight TIMES Tremendously Terrific Two

(Ignore the fact there is only one candle... bad planning on her  mama's part... she really IS two!)

She's our eighth two-year-old... and I'm still at a loss as to why people call them the terrible twos. We've yet to have one (of course, she has only been two for about 2 weeks, so I guess there's still time *grin*), so I prefer THE TREMENDOUSLY TERRIFIC TWOS!

What do I love so much about this age? Probably all the same stuff that leads so many to call them terrible!  Previously compliant, happy-go-lucky babies we tote along where ever and whenever, who mostly, obediently and cheerfully go along with everything and anything Dad and Mom say, who love snuggles and cuddles, and who are mostly happy unless they are hurt, scared, tired or not feeling well... all of the sudden begin this transition from baby to child. Learning that they are independent little people who can know and decide what they want, realizing that their words and actions impact and influence the behavior of those around them, their blossoming independence begins to put them at odds with the big people in their lives.

I love seeing this independence and autonomy flower in their lives. I love those vivid glimpses of their personality that give a peak into the future and the adult he or she might become.  I love the challenge of getting them to willingly obey and do what needs to be done by giving structured choices. I love taking advantage of their desire to be "big" and teaching responsibility and helpfulness. I love shepherding as they gain confidence that their opinions and ideas are valid and valuable while teaching and showing them the correct way to express what they are thinking. I love the explosion of vocabulary and their ability to actually put into words what I've only been hypothesizing before. I love the transparency and spontaneity of their emotions and the journey of helping them to discover what those feelings mean, why they are feeling that way and the right way to share all those passionate sensations going on inside with the people around them.

I think, though, what I love most of all is how God shows me myself reflected in my two year olds, working on things He wants to change in my life, the many ways I still respond selfishly and how He always responds with love and grace... and then gives me the opportunity to respond with love and grace to the beautiful little people He has placed in my life.

Once again... I'm delighting in a two year old chez nous... Enjoy these images from her very low key, but delightful, birthday celebration. She's our little sweetie!

I hope you love being two, little girl... as much as I'll treasure each moment of this third year of your life!

I've stumbled upon this really cool pudding recipe...

I know... most people don't get too excited about making pudding. Especially from scratch. But...

I can't go out and buy an instant pudding mix (although that might be changing) and I'd never really been successful at the cook and serve mixes back in the States before...

So the thought of making pudding, from scratch, has always been intimidating...

I've always circumnavigated the issue in the past. We've had a lady working for us, an amazing cook who can make just about any recipe you hand her work... I'd have her make the pudding and put it in the fridge and we'd eat it or I'd have it for whatever recipe I wanted to use it in.

But this term, I don't have that option...

And then, I came across "this" recipe:  Pumpkin Trifle. I love butterscotch pudding... I love anything with pumpkin and pumpkin pie spices in it... trifles are just so pretty to serve but relatively easy to assemble... and I really wanted to try something different this Thanksgiving...



Pumpkin trifle



Boston Creme donuts

 I had to try it out, so that meant learning to make pudding, from scratch, all by myself. I must confess - I practiced a few times first, making chocolate pudding. I figured the chocolate would cover any scorching of the milk I might do (that was always my problem with the cook and serve variety). I also did something else I rarely do - follow a recipe precisely and exactly - even down to the amount of time cooking and how much of that time I was supposed to stand there stirring. And... IT. WORKED!! I've even replicated the effort... several times... in several different recipes. Some I've even documented with photos!

And then, in this pudding making craze, I discovered something really cool concerning chocolate pudding pies we made for Mary Michelle's birthday. I'd used up all my eggs... the food budget for the week was finished... but I still wanted to make chocolate pudding pies for M&M's birthday. I began searching for an eggless pudding recipe. I found one and figured I had to try it. It worked beautifully and was oh so yummy!



Chocolate Creme pie



Unfortunately, my whipping creme wasn't so cooperative. After much persuasion, I finally convinced it to  sort of work, but as soon as it came out of the fridge, it started "melting." Thus, after serving the pie, I immediately stuck what was left in the freezer.

And pulled it out the next morning as a mid morning snack for Tim, Nadia and the two little girls. You know what? That chocolate pudding tasted like a fabulous chocolate ice cream. Here it is... just in case you wanted to try it:

Eggless Chocolate Pudding:
3 Tbsp cornstarch
4 Tbsp cocoa
1/4 tsp salt
1 C half and half
1 1/4 C milk
1 C sugar
2 Tbsp butter
1 Tbsp vanilla

Mix together cornstarch, cocoa, salt and sugar in a saucepan. Pour in already mixed half and half and milk. Stir well. Then begin cooking, stirring continually. Once mixture begins to boil, lower heat and continue stirring for an additional minute. Remove from heat. Stir in butter and vanilla. Cover surface with plastic wrap and refrigerate.

Pudding really isn't that hard to make... and it is worth the effort... and I was reminded of the very same lesson I've been working on with one of my math students this year... Sometimes, even when it isn't our prefered mode of operation, we have to follow the rules, exactly and in order, to successfully accomplish reach our goal. It is uncomfortable and constraining, sometimes downright annoying and even infuriating... but that is just the way it is. And that may be the way it always is with some tasks.

With others, however, once we master the process, understand what is going on and why, we find that those same rules which once seemed so frustratingly limiting are now freeing; they actually allow us to adapt...  modify... explore other alternatives... plumb infinite "other possiblities." We've now used modifications of that same eggless recipe to make vanilla pudding, butterscotch pudding, and vanilla ice cream... and who knows what other creations we'll can up with!

Kind of makes me think of Paul, in Acts 9.3-6 (KJV)

"And as he journeyed, he came near Damascus: and suddenly there shined round about him a light from heaven: And he fell to the earth, and heard a voice saying unto him, Saul, Saul, why persecutest thou me? And he said, Who art thou, Lord? And the Lord said, I am Jesus whom thou persecutest: it is hard for thee to kick against the goad. And he trembling and astonished said, Lord, what wilt thou have me to do? And the Lord said unto him, Arise, and go into the city, and it shall be told thee what thou must do."

Paul had been furiously trying to earn God's favor... but he wasn't following the plan laid out by our Heavenly Father. He was frantically doing everything that made sense to him, in his way and against the counsel of his religious mentor... God called it kicking against the goad... or "offering vain and perilous resistence." (from the Amplified Bible).

Once he gave up pursuing his path, begain following the Lord's instructions exactly, God freed him from eternal death and liberated and then worked through him; in my humble opinion, Paul became the most amazing missionary, besides our Lord, this world has ever seen.

And just imagine... all that from pondering pudding. God sometimes speaks to me in mysterious ways and bizzare circumstances!

Somewhat sunny Saturday mornings are good for...

...learning to ride, of course!

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It's fun to look out the window and see Daddy loving on his girl... and grass is more conducive to learning than sand or laterite in Niger.

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Illustration, "The Bike Race" by Susan Banta

Victoria... you can just call her Tori...

...or...

"T" ~~ for Trouble!

But I prefer "T" ~~ for 'Tant et plus.'

Life with a precocious 2nd grader will always be interesting. Last night was "Meet the Teacher" night at Calvary and the kids will be starting school next Tuesday. We are excited for Tori to be in class. One reason is that we know she's got a fabulous teacher who was, in fact, Brendan's 2nd grade teacher when I was pregnant with Victoria...

• Really smart,
• decisive,
• impetuous,
• head-strong,
• determined,
• curious,
• confident,
• prone to hysterical giggling,
• a tease,
• not shy,
• cuddly and affectionate when she's not mad at you,
• passionate,
• easily embarrassed,
• sometimes ornery but almost always sweet at the same time,
• stubborn,
• a bit of a thrill seeker,
• frustratingly persistent...

These are just a few of the descriptive phrases we've heard others apply when referring to our daughter - and not just things things we've thought or said ourselves! As she was meeting her teacher last night at school, Mrs. Forbes asked her if she had any questions. Victoria had 3:

1. "Do I have to keep this apple in my desk or can I eat it now?"
2. "There are a lot of books in my desk that I didn't put there? Why and what are they for?"
3. "Why do the poster people on the 'tableau' have such big pockets?"

Those who know our family best say she's the only one who truly favors my side of the family in looks and that she has my personality - which means we often see things eye to eye... but when we disagree and correction needs to be applied, watch out! When she's really being ornery, Tim usually remarks that she's acting just like her mother... and I'm not liking to hear that comment. *She's also got her daddy wrapped around her little finger.* God most certainly uses this little mini-mirror to reveal areas where I need to change...

We love her "tant et plus"

...or so much and even more!