A 31 Day Grand Prix {day 22} - Multitude Monday - A 1000 Gifts ~ Today I'm thankful for the word INSTEAD...

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear." (1 Peter 3.3-6)

I decided over a week ago that today's post would examine INSTEAD. 

And I couldn't have known at the time just how perfect that focus would be...

According to Dictionary.com, instead has two primary definitions: 

1. a substitute or replacement; in the place or stead of someone or something: We ordered tea but were served coffee instead.
2. in preference; as a preferred or accepted alternative: The city has its pleasures, but she wished instead for the quiet of country life.

In the English translation of this verse, instead is an adverb. Therefore its job is to specify or further describe a verb. The verb in this case is an understood "Let it be," directly and emphatically contrasting with the "Let it not be," in verse three (that I've written about here). 

In the Greek, however, the original word translated as instead, grammatically is a coordinating conjunction, meaning it joins two things that are of equal importance). It is typically rendered as "otherwise, on the other hand, but, except, however, nevertheless, on the contrary, indeed, rather, and certainly." It is certainly interesting to take each one of those words and substitute it in for the instead and see what you get.

• Your beauty should be that of your inner self... otherwise it will come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 
• Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. On the other hand, it should be that of your inner self..,
• Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. But, it should be that of your inner self...
• Man's idea of beauty often comes from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes [which is, not surprisingly, how this world would believes]... except that it should come from that of your inner self...
• Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. However, it should come from your inner self...
• Outwardly, you may be beautifully adorned with braided hair, wearing gold jewelry and fine clothes. Nevertheless, true beauty should be that of your inner self...
• Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. On the contrary, it should be that of your inner self...
• Indeed! Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. It should be that of your inner self... 
• Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self
• Your beauty should certainly not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Your beauty should be that of your inner self...

Obviously, some of those "rephrasings" are more accurate and effective than others... but I've profitted from considering some of the different nuances contained in these alternatives.

Earlier, I mentioned that instead was a perfect word on which to meditate today... particularly for me. Here's why.

I had planned on and thought I was flying to Accra, Ghana on Tuesday of last week to participate in and lead a few sessions at an educational conference. God had opened up this unexpected and amazing door of opportunity - the type of opportunity I'd been praying about for a long time, enlisted the support and encouragement of my husband and my closest friends, and provided the financial means for me to go working out some amazing, crazy details at late dates.

I was nervous, but excited. I had my bags packed, my scheduled session presentations (notes, handouts and power points) prepared, devotional thoughts organized, lessons planned for Sahel students and for Anna. Tim was psyched... I guess... to single parent for the next several days (even agreeing to take on a few extras over the weekend so Sahel dorm parents could have a weekend off). Everything looked ready to go.

Then that word entered the picture.

INSTEAD...

Instead, the pilot and plane mechanic stopped by our house Monday evening. The plane we were to fly was having technical difficulties. They didn't feel it was a good idea to try and fly until those problems were resolved.

Instead of lifting up from the desert and landing near the ocean on Tuesday, I was trying to find a commercial flight from Niamey to Accra... however I had to go, detour or whatever.

Instead of fellowshipping with others who desire to encourage and equip expat parents working to educate their children to the best of their abilities in challenging and unusual circumstances, I was telephoning the organizer of the conference to tell her there were no flights available and that I wouldn't be able to make it.

Instead of sharing some of lessons God has impressed on my heart and things I've learned from my research, study and actual experience in these areas, I have continued with my regular routine of caring for my family, home schooling, and teaching at Sahel Academy.

Instead of feeling like I conquered, at least in a specific moment, that horrible fear of flying, I'm feeling a bit scared, insecure and uncertain - wondering what those conference organizers will think of all of my work that I emailed, without opportunity to present or comment: session notes, a copy of each handout, power point presentations. I'm still "Yikes-ing!" on that one!

Instead of saying goodbye to my husband and babies for several days, I've enjoyed snuggles and cuddles and tickles and laughs and heart to heart conversations this week... and have been begged to make donuts on Saturday.

Instead of maybe eating yummy foods that aren't so readily available here in Niamey... on someone else's tab... I was treated to a cheesy omelet with a quarter of a piece of bacon - Tim's way of saying "I love you."

The long and the short of it is... instead of a radically different,  expected fun and exciting week, I've had a relatively normal week filled with all the regular sweets,   delights and frustrations of being a part of this family and living and ministering in this place.

I wish I knew why. I wish I knew if I'd stepped outside of God's will, misread or rushed ahead and thus He had to clearly and decisively close the door. I wish I knew if this was a spiritual attack... and if it was, if I'll ever know the good God makes of it. I wish I knew what sort of an impression I've left with the conference organizers as a result... and if they'll ever invite me to participate again. At the risk of repeating myself? I have lots of questions. I just wish I knew some of the answers.

But I don't and I don't know if I will. According to these verses I've been studying, God will value, will call beautiful, a gentle and quiet spirit that does right in accepting joyfully and without fear, whether this is His mild chastising, a change to my plans to achieve His perfect plan, or temporary defeat Almightily turned to ultimate victory...

Or maybe, as one of my online friends wrote the other day... maybe...

What we set out to do 

may just be the dream 

God uses 

to get us where He wants us all along.

And that's where I want to rest.

this week's gratitude list:
(#'s 3212 - 3223)

the significance of INSTEAD

unplanned snuggles, cuddles, tickles and long talks

visitors for the weekend

making donuts, just 'cause

poutine with real (i.e. not maggi cube) chicken gravy... so delish!

spray bottles for ornery cats

powerful quotes from new friends

in depth Bible study

kids' Bible studies that have finally started

being given the grace to choose gentle acceptance, this time at least

safety and that I wasn't in the plane when the problem presented itself (although these guys are great pilots and even after there were problems, they landed safely and then chose the route of caution)

friends whose prayers were that I'd be able to find a way... but I think it has been those prayers that have carried me through the disappointment of instead

Entering a 31 Day Grand Prix {day 1}

A 31 Day Grand Prix {day 2} - the wordless book, a flute and a song

A 31 Day Grand Prix {day 3} - "Aw Dad! Stop ruining my life!"

A 31 Day Grand Prix {day 4} - gentleness on deck

A 31 Day Grand Prix {day 5} - Five Minute Friday ~ Welcome
A 31 Day Grand Prix {day 6} - Is there time to {gently} home school and be a missionary, too? Pt 1

A 31 Day Grand Prix {day 7} - Is there time to {gently} home school and be a missionary, too? Pt 2

A 31 Day Grand Prix {day 8} - A photo titled Afua's Hands

A 31 Day Grand Prix {day 9} - Go-getters can be gentle, too!
A 31 Day Grand Prix {day 10} - Gentle Joy
A 31 Day Grand Prix {day 11} - such a genteel gal... from way down South

A 31 Day GraWhnd Prix {day 12} - Five Minute Friday ~ Race

A 31 Day Grand Prix {day 13} ~ On a Mission

A 31 Day Grand Prix {day 14} - pictures of gentleness
A 31 Day Grand Prix {day 15} - Multitude Monday ~ all Greek to me!
A 31 Day Grand Prix {day 16} ~ she came from the Land Down Under
A 31 Day Grand Prix {day 17} - Walk with Him Wednesday ~ How did you answer my question from last week?
A 31 Day Grand Prix {day 18} ~ that fictional frontier lady who inspires me ~ 
A 31 Day Grand Prix {day 19} - Five Minute Friday ~ Look 
A 31 Day Grand Prix {day 20} - should not come from
A 31 Day Grand Prix {day 21} ~ Why do braids, gold and fancy clothes matter?