Faithful are the wounds of a friend...

I had someone use that phrase when speaking with me the other day.

My first thought?

In the middle of a difficult conversation, throwing a Bible verse at someone is playing dirty - because how in the world can you argue with God's inspired words, especially when your whole life has been built around trying to integrate it's truth into every aspect of your life?

So due to the context, the comment was not at all appreciated.

And as a parent... as well as one who works in a Christian school with children who misbehave,...a lot... that is something I need to remember.

I also trust God that "criticism," whether offered 

contructively out of love 

or 

vengefully with a desire to hurt in retaliation, 

gives the Spirit of God opportunity to hold up a mirror where I can look long and hard to see if the criticism, or at least certain aspects, was merited.

So I'm sitting with these words for a bit, even though it also means cutting the wound a little deeper.

Interpreting and applying a proverb

According to the Bible Project, in one of their videos about the book of Proverbs: "... the purpose of this book is to help you develop a set of practical skills for living well in God's world and this gets linked with another key idea...; the fear of the Lord. Now fear here is not about terror. It's about a healthy sense of reverence and awe for God and about my place in the universe. It's a moral mindset that recognizes that I am not God and that I don't get to make up my own definitions of good and evil, of right and wrong. Rather I need to humble myself before God and embrace God's definition of right and wrong, even when that's inconvenient for me." (beginning at 1:44 in the video)

A quick search reveals all sorts of strategies for studying this book of short, pithy sayings. However, since the distinguishing fact of a proverb is its succintness, there are also a few cautions to keep in mind. Thus a proverb should generally not be considered an absolute truth or promise. Additionally, because some proverbs describe the reality of life in a fallen world, description or inclusion is not the same as a comprehensive rubber stamp.

In other words, the wounds of a friend are generally faithful, but do not assume that is always the case... unless, of course, the friend in question is God. 

Rereading the beginning verses of Proverbs 27 today, the image that keeps coming to mind is from last year's Easter program:

Adam and Eve choosing the kisses of the serpent instead of heeding the words of God. 

I wonder if, in their minds, those words seemed hard, restrictive and unfair, even though they had come from a friend - their God who walked and talked with them, from the beginning, in the garden? 

As a consequence, God then pronounced words even more wounding, the curse of sin on all mankind. 

Thankfully, he then followed with words of promise, planting a seed of hope that blossomed into fullfillment with the empty tomb. 

From the beginning of time, the wounds of the only perfect friend prove faithful, while the kisses of the eternal enemy bring catastrophy. 

Voila ~  the truth on which this proverb is based.

However, no mere human  is a perfect friend.

Three key words: wounds... friend... faithful...

Wounds

In the original language, wound refers to a bruise, or what happens when a part of the body is injured and blood from the damaged capillaries (small blood vessels) leaks out. With no place to go, the blood gets trapped under the skin, forming a red or purplish mark that's tender when you touch it. It is the result of an act that crushes or batters.

Friend

Today, friend has all sorts of meanings, including those listed as designated connections on social media. Clearly, that is not what this proverb is getting at. 

Friend, in the original Hebrew language, refers to someone who loves or is loved. There really isn't a whole lot more detail. In fact, this particular Hebrew word used for love can refer to love in any or all of its possible manifestations. 

What several of the commentators I read said was that it was more telling to look at what love was not. In particular, love is the opposite of hate. 

Most dictionaries define hate as a very strong feeling of dislike; an intense hostility. The ancient Hebrew prioritizes a very different nuance. “Sane’ ” (saw-nay’), often translated as hate, is, in pictograph letters, “thorn seed.” According to Jeff Benner in The Ancient Hebrew Lexicon of the Bible "The thorn, (the seed of a plant with small sharp points) cause one to turn directions to avoid them.” In other words, not allowing love. Hate means putting up walls, a hedge of protection, to avoid pain. This image makes me think of the Michael Card song Why?

Only a friend can betray a friend

A stranger has nothing to gain

And only a friend comes close enough

To ever cause so much pain

Faithful

Pillars of support, stable, nourishing, established and sure...

Putting it all together ~ 

Sure and stable, supporting, nourishing and buttressing are those tender to the touch contusions that result from crushing and battering when inflicted by someone who loves you, sees you for who you are and is working for your very best. 

Photo credit : Unsplash by Robert Linder

So what's my conclusion?

Ouch!

Can I trust the "friend" who has recently wounded me? I really don't know. 

We humans are so fallible, so prone to wander, so likely to sin and seek vengeance, so arrogant and sure that our own way has the holy stamp of approval. Thus, that question is impossible for me to answer.

However, I can trust my divine friend. 

We often pray for deliverance from hard things - the things that cause us pain. God, however, is more interested in delivering us from our sinful selves than He is in stopping the pain of a wound becoming a tool of redemption in His faithful, capable hands. 

Five Minute Friday ~ Tired (of those who try and explain and justify instead of using another's criticisms or observations as the impetus to jump start much needed change - myself sometimes included)

I had a conversation with a teacher friend of mine recently. At the private Christian school where this teacher works, support personnel (i.e. speech and language therapists, occupational therapists, learning specialists, etc.) are not employed by the school. They are either hired by the parents or are provided by the public system to ensure that children with identified disabilities (and individualized education plans) receive the necessary adaptations and services that will allow them to genuinely access and profit from their education. My teacher friend decided one day to ask one of these specialists (who was not a believer) if the Christian school where they both worked was any different than the public schools where the specialist was also employed. 

The specialist's response was surprising.

As a nonChristian outsider, the specialist said that the parents with their focus on protecting marriage and the nuclear family as well as their involvement in the school and the lives of their children was definitely different. This individual also remarked that students were, in general, more obedient, polite and respectful - although certainly not perfect. Textbooks, teaching materials and lessons also often reflected the different worldview of those adhering to the Christian faith. All of that is exactly what we would expect to hear. 

So, what's so surprising?

It was the final question. My friend then asked the specialist if there was anything different about the teachers at the Christian school. 

"No, not really,"  the specialist replied.

As a teacher, a Christian teacher, one who has worked in both public, private and international settings, my only response was: "Ouch!" And - I was deeply convicted.

I can easily (and more or less logically) explain away the specialist's observation:

1. Most who enter the field of teaching do so because they care about children, want to see them grow and thrive, reach their potential and perhaps, someday, help make our world a better place. As all have been created in the image of God, this is clearly God's image shining through -certainly possible even in someone who does not yet follow him.
2. Good teaching practices are good teaching practices and we can't expect Christian schools to be the only ones using them.
3. This specialist did not understand because s/he did not have the Holy Spirit helping him/her to interpret what s/he saw.
4. The specialist responded with his/her own personal agenda, perhaps less than truthfully.

Or, I (or we - Christian teachers) could ask God to reveal if there is something we need to change in Christian education.

Of course, that's a dangerous question. 

What if an honest answer reveals that I need to change?

What if the problem is not simply the content of the education, but rather the process by which I'm communicating that content? 

(five minute timer sounded here)

As a Christian teacher, I should be concerned about excellence: end results - excellence, observable and measurable; behavior that adheres to Christian principles and traditions. But does this drive for excellence render other important qualities expendable? Do I control (i.e. by rules and regulation and suffocating supervision) so much that I take away occasions for my students to choose and then experience the results and/or consequences of their choices? Do I model service and sacrifice while never giving my students opportunity to do the same? Do I continually demand performance, never allowing my students to experience grace demonstrated?

What if that specialist never saw the difference in school staff because s/he did not see people who loved the Lord their God with all their heart, soul and mind AND people who loved their neighbors (other staff and personnel, students, parents) as themselves. Jesus was the one who said to his disciples: ""By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another." (John 13.35, NASB)

Yes, I'm tired.

I'm tired of people who should know better - whose first response is defensive, striving to justify the status quo, clinging to past and present traditions and never willing to consider that maybe they need to change. I'm tired of Christians who walk in fear and who thus can't consider the testimony, observations or suggestions of others "outside the fold." Yes, greater is He that is in us than he who is in the world... and we forget that God has spoken truth in many ways - His Word, His Son, His prophets, His creation, His people... even a pagan king and a donkey.

And I'm tired of always having to battle that exact same impulse in moi-même each time I'm confronted with yet another incongruity in my life, family and ministry. 

that "action of bringing two parties face to face"

So... that doesn't sound so bad, does it?

I mean, there are lots of times I really like being face to face - with my hubby, for one.

Or sitting across the table from a good friend, sipping tea or coffee and having to lean forward... in close... to actually hear what my friend is saying because the concrete walls echo, magnifying the background noises of all the other conversations taking place in the restaurant.

Or my littlest munchkin smashing her nose and forehead against my cheek, her preferred mode of snuggling as she falls asleep. It IS sometimes suffocating, but always sweet. It's also really hard to snap a picture of that, but trust me... it happens at some point, every single day... still. She's not always falling asleep, but at 7.5 years, she still needs a snuggle cuddle every day.

How, then, could it be? 

That a word defined as the "action of bringing two parties face to face" strikes dread in the hearts of so many. 

That it is something most of us (siblings don't count) avoid it at all costs. 

Or...

we simply strive to avoid those people who don't choose to...

...avoid [this word], I mean.

Have you figured out what "it" I'm talking about yet?

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CONFRONTATION!

Conflict, altercation, disagreement, and argument are all common synonyms.

Or, more idiomatically,

"going nose to nose"

and

"butting heads!"

The etymology of the word confrontation, 

     which originates in the Latin and probably made its way into English via French, 

           looks something like this:

Essentially, it means the act of (according to dictionary.com)

1. standing or coming in front of; 
2. standing or meeting, facing; 
3. presenting for acknowledgment, contradiction, etc.; 
4. setting face to face; 
5. bringing together for examination or comparison; 
6. facing in hostility or defiance, opposing; and/or 
7. being in one's way. 

Some of those have clear negative connotations... but they don't all have to, especially if we'd take the time to learn how to "do" well this thing we are calling confrontation: first how to receive criticism/confrontation... and then why, when and how to actually confront another.

Biblical confrontation was a topic I studied in depth with the women in our church in Niger. The pastor's wife asked me to lead a study on this topic because the younger women were intimidated by the older women, particularly when the older women let the younger gals know they hadn't met "some" expectation set by the older ones.

Here's what we looked at ~

• So what do you do when someone just won't listen to plain "good sense..."
• Am I my brother - or sister's keeper?
• "Nin go ga ti bora din..." or "You ARE that man..."
• Expensive and Expansive

Check out these links above if you want to see how our conversations/studies went. Personally, I felt I learned a lot more than I taught, and in those posts, tried to include the very interesting and insightful implications, as well as the conclusions drawn and applications suggested - all by the ladies in that church. One thing I think is important to remember - most of these women were, at that point in time, illiterate. Thus, it was quite likely their first exposure to some of the different Bible passages, in any way, shape or form.

I love the example of Nathan (as confronter) and David (as confrontee), in 2 Samuel 12. Nathan confronted gently and well, as well as for the right reasons. David received that confrontation humbly and brokenly. But then...

But then, we read 2 Samuel 13, a horrifyingly difficult account in the Biblical record. 

In chapter 13, we also read a story of several additional confrontations... or ones that should have taken place... 

Sadly, none of which were handled correctly by both participants, if they were handled at all.

As was my typical strategy when leading a Bible study, we read/reviewed the story. Then I asked them to identify any confrontations that did occur... and then to think about and identify where confrontations might have/should have occurred. The goals was to consider and then discuss:

1. what went well (if anything), and particularly,
2. what didn't go well 

between the confronter and the confrontee in each situation.

Here's what the ladies notices as we worked our way through the first half of the chapter.

A confrontation between Jonadab and Amnon

The two were cousins and apparently close friends. This confrontation actually started off okay. Jonadab showed himself to be an attentive and observant friend. He clued in to Amnon's distress and went to him, confronting him, saying "It's obvious something isn't right. Tell me what's going on." 

Amnon's initial response was also good. He very transparently answered his cousin and told him the whole truth of what was bothering him: Amnon desired his half sister. 

This was the point where I, from my perspective and with my cultural baggage, felt this encounter went wrong. Instead of encouraging Amnon to seek counsel, or instead of giving good advice himself, Jonadab recommends deceit and a selfish pursuit of what Amnon thinks will make him happy. Jonadab suggests an immediate and temporary alleviation of Amnon's discontent, rather than digging deeper to find out why Amnon was feeling as he was, instead of seeking lasting answers and a changed heart. Jonadab also recommended what could appear to be a deceitful ruse.

Thankfully, I held my tongue and allowed the ladies to speak first, because in the Nigerien culture direct confrontation rarely happens.

Instead, the women quickly pointed out a difficulty in judging with knowledge - completely and accurately determining Jonadab's motivations behind his counsel.

Here's what the ladies thought:

Jonadab's counsel provoked a visit from King David, Amnon's father. David clearly had the authority to confront Amnon - from a position of wisdom and personal experience (Temember the previous few chapters?). Whereas Jonadab could only address Ammnon's issues as a peer, David could speak as a father. Culturally, Jonadab could not directly confront his friend, but he could suggest a scenario where one, David, who legitimately and authoritatively engage would be made aware of the issue.

Out of curiosity, when I got home I looked up the meaning of the key word used to describe Jonadab: "shrewd" or "crafty." Hearing those words, I can quickly conclude deceitful.

However, the original Hebrew word meant wise and was often used in conjunction with prophets and those who had good discernment. It was also frequently used to describe sorcerers and false prophets.

My next step was to see what else, if anything else, the Bible says about Jonadab. He is mentioned in one other place - he accurately informs David of Absalom's revenge upon Amnon.

Thus, at least at a cursory glance, it appears that there are three plausible interpretations of Jonadab's actions: 1) he immaturely counseled his friend to use deception to get what he wanted; 2) he wisely set up a scenario where a more qualified person could potentially confront Amnon regarding his foolish desires; or 3) he was no true friend to Amnon, engaging in, for whatever reason, a sophisticated subterfuge, using royal court liaisons to remove a potential successor to David's throne.

Thus, what did we learn through this example of "two parties coming together, face to face?"

Confrontation can be done in many different ways, and probably should be, depending on the circumstances and need. 

We had already seen the example of an indirect confrontation by two who might be considered equals - King David and Nathan.

That day, we had looked at another confrontation - perhaps between equals (two friends) or perhaps between two unequals - the king's son/potential successor to the throne and the king's nephew. That day, the ladies tended to see Jonadab's actions as wise - indirectly confronting by bringing Amnon into a position where his father would better be able to confront his inappropriate, sinful desires.

What do you think?

Does one of these interpretations seems most plausible to you? Which one?

What is your reaction to women from a different culture understanding a Biblical passage differently than what you may have traditionally been taught, simply because they come from a different cultural context?

Trying to give credit where credit is due:

from whence came that title 

here's where I found that picture of the rams-butting-heads-statue

originally posted here on July 19, 2012

When a colleague fails ~

How are we supposed to act when a colleague sins?

It happens, and I’m not talking about the respectable sins with which we all struggle. I’m talking about the big ones – the ones that result in missionaries sent home from the field or pastors asked to leave their churches…

What are we to do? How are we supposed to act?

I know what sorts of behaviors and attitudes surface most naturally in me.

I criticize. Blame. Ostracize. Shame.

I want to gossip – even though I usually manage to restrain myself. I convince myself I could NEVER sin that sin – at least not the same way nor as sordidly as my colleague did… I sigh as I wonder how the ministry will ever weather the repercussions.

I want to disqualify that person from ever being part of “my team,” again. I might thank God for protecting me from such a wretched mistake, possibly praying, “Thank You, God, that I am not like those those who are unrighteous, who steal, those who commit <that really bad sin>… and Lord, especially that I’m not like____________” filling in the blank with the name of my “fallen” colleague.

Jesus had some pretty strong words for such an attitude...

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Please jump on in to the discussion of this topic @

a life overseas: the missions conversation,

where I'm posting today!

~ Sobering, Scary... and Rings SO True ~

I don't remember where I first saw this title, exactly what prompted me to get a copy of this book, or how long I've been slowly working my way through it,

...but doing so has taken me on a HUGE learning curve.

NARCISSISM ~

inordinate fascination with oneself; excessive self-love; vanity.

also: self-centeredness, smugness, egocentrism.

There's even something called Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), or a condition in which people have 

1. an excessive sense of self-importance, 
2. an extreme preoccupation with themselves, and 
3. a lack of empathy for others.

It was one of those words I'd heard, and certainly understood when I read it in context, but not one that I'd spent much time thinking about, until recently... until reading this book.

Basically I was hooked from the moment I read the following words: 

"Personality does not exist in isolation. This increase in narcissism in individuals is, we believe, just an outcome of a massive shift in culture toward a greater focus on self-admiration. Narcissism has spread through the generations like a particularly pernicious virus - one with multiple means of entry and transmission. First, Americans' immunity to narcissism has weakened. At one time, strong social pressures kept people's egos in check. Mothers asked children "Who do you think you are?" (instead of "What do you want for dinner, princess?") Religious leaders stressed humility and modesty. Strong communities and stable relationships discouraged arrogance and made it less necessary to meet and impress new people. Narcissism has also been transmitted as an unintended consequence of good intentions, as in the self-esteem movement and less authoritative parenting. Instead of creating friendly, happy children, however, these practices often produce self-centered, narcissistic young people. 

In addition, norms for self-presentation have shifted with cultural trends and new technology.... Internet social networking sites and celebrity culture have raised the bar for narcissistic behavior and standards. Using MySpace [or Facebook] to post a picture of yourself half naked and posturing provocatively is now considered totally normal -- even though it is also deeply narcissistic. Americans are being persuaded that becoming more vain, materialistic, and self-centered is actually a good thing. This can happen even if you're not particularly narcissistic but just get drawn into what everyone else is doing. Today, if you don't get your teeth whitened, everyone thinks you are either poor or an espresso-drinking, cigarette-smoking European. Ten years ago, nobody would have noticed." (pp. 38-39)

This book is a difficult read, if you are willing to ask yourself hard questions as you make your way through the text - especially when the authors identify what their research has revealed to be the "root causes of the epidemic:" 1) current parenting and teaching practices focusing on the uniqueness and the special-ness of each child; 2) current obsessions with celebrities and everything about their lives; 3) social networking sites and the the quest for attention and self-promotion of a carefully crafted image; and 4) easy credit and never allowing real consequences to play out because of the mentality that "I deserve the best right now, regardless of the cost or future consequence!" 

This book is a scary and sobering read, especially when you see symptoms of narcissism stealthily creeping or full-out lambasting their way into the lives of those you love, into the organizations with which you affiliate. What are those symptoms? They include a growing focus on self-importance and a beautiful, appearance often at the expense of genuine caring or sweet personalities (i.e. vanity), materialism, the insistence on believing that "I'm special and therefore better or more deserving...," increasing acceptability of antisocial behavior, less and less civility and insistence on "my rights" instead of learning to get along, feeling entitled, and serving not to help others but to help your own image and self-impression.

Having spent most of the past fifteen years living on the backside of the Sahara Desert, while not immune or insulated from all of these pressures, we can clearly see the symptoms more and more pronounced each time we return to the States. It is revolting, especially as you listen to people you love and trust and admire... as you hear your own thoughts... justify behaviors the Bible clearly condemns. We, as a society, are so busy loving and worshiping ourselves, there is very little... if any... room left for God. We've made life into an "All about me" sort of drama, on so many levels. And frankly, this is what terrifies me the most about bringing our family back to this world... it is what concerns me when I ponder what it will mean to raise the younger half of our family in this world and culture so that they can function as aware and relevant - but without losing them to a value system that is so far from what God created us to be. 

It is the researched opinion of the authors of The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement that, "As a society, we have a chance to slow the epidemic of narcissism if we learn to identify it, minimize the forces that sustain and transmit it, and treat it. If we are unwilling to make... changes, reality always wins in the end. The only question is how long it will be before our nation buckles..." (p. 302-303)

photo credit: deborah is lola via photopin cc

Five Minute Friday ~ Reflect

Reflect is an interesting word.

Studying its etymology - it appears first to have been used in a purely scientific sense:

to cast back (light, heat, sound, etc.) from a surface,

to give back or show an image of, 

mirror...

to turn or bend back, to divert, to turn aside, deflect, to shine back light rays or images...

Other uses of the word came as the word's use grew and changed ~

• (of an act or its result) to serve to cast or bring (credit, discredit, etc.) on its performer.
• to reproduce; show: followers reflecting the views of the leader.
• to think, ponder, or meditate: to reflect on one's virtues and faults.

I've been reflecting... thinking... pondering... meditating on the following words during the past few days of this Advent season:

Come, let us return to the Lord.

He has torn us to pieces

but He will heal us;

He has injured us

but He will bind up our wounds.

After two days He will revive us;

on the third day He will restore us,

that we may live in His presence.

Let us acknowledge the Lord;

let us press on to acknowledge Him.

As surely as the sun rises,

He will appear;

He will come to us like the winter rains,

like the spring rains that water the earth.

What can I do with you, Ephraim?

What can I do with you, Judah?

Your love is like the morning mist,

like the early dew that disappears.

Therefore I cut you in pieces with my prophets,

I killed you with the words of my mouth—

then my judgments go forth like the sun.

For I desire mercy, not sacrifice,

and acknowledgment of God rather than burnt offerings.

Funny how you can read something... and read it again not even that much later... and notice totally different things. And that is what has happened to me as I've read and reflected... letting God's Word shine and deflect back His light on my thoughts about this passage from Hosea during this time of advent anticipation...

I wondered if the disciples thought back to those words in the first section... after the Crucifixion, death and resurrection of Christ... I wondered how sometimes the hard things God brings into our lives aren't so much physical but mental and emotional. Also... how His restoration is for no other reason than that we can live in His presence.

Then there was this: "Let us acknowledge... let us press on to acknowledge..." Sometimes I want to think that those hard struggles should be defeated once and for all... ultimate and final victories. I don't like continually having to struggle and battle. As the Light turns aside my preferences, I see how we acknowledge once and for all... but then have to make that choice continually. Pressing on equals pursuing, chasing...motivated by consuming power equivalent to the force behind one intent on persecuting. It is also the same word scribed by David in Psalm 23, referring to God's lovingkindness and mercy "following" David. It's a persistent, continual stubbornness in my choice to always acknowledging the Lord and His work, His presence, His authority over me and my life - not just with my words but in the very way I live. 

Yikes... lots of conviction as I reflect and ponder on those ideas.

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Join up with Lisa Jo for 5MF this week - and then we'll be taking a break for the Christmas season. See you back in 2014!

Five Minute Friday ~ Truth

"Mama? Are you true?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" I asked back. One of the few things I've learned as a mom is not to answer until I'm sure I know the question and often that means much more than just hearing the spoken words.

"When I ask you something and you say 'Yes,' do you always really mean your answer?"

Once again, God uses the ten and under squad to confront me on my behavior and whether my words and my actions all line up. But the point of this post isn't to me-bash (even though I could - because the more I think about it the more I see all of the times I'm inconsistent or unclear with my yeses), it is the fact that my girl's question got me to thinking about true and truth.

The etymology of true is fascinating. It germinates, in the early Germanic tongues, from the same root as the word tree... which, in turn, grows out of the Indo-European word for wood... something solid, something firm, something with which amazing structures can be built. (That's what happens when you are a lover of words... you learn and remember trivia like that...) Truth and trees really aren't so very different.

Last summer we visited Sequoia National Forest (talk about some amazing). Those huge, solid, ancient, withstanding-so-many-forces-of-nature trees had one "enemy." Man. Cutting, building around and choking out, trampling and eroding the soil around the roots, creating tourist attractions like tunnels a car can drive through...

Then it struck me. Sometimes we... hu-"men" and followers of Jesus... can be more detrimental in our careless, mistaken or purposeful duplicity of Truth than Truth's sworn enemies when to a watching world, lives and words just don't match up.

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Just for the fun of it... a couple of my favorite "truth" quotes.

In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act.

~ George Orwell ~

An error does not become truth by reason of multiplied propagation, nor does truth become error because nobody sees it.

~ Mahatma Gandhi ~

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Wanna hop in and play along? Head on over to Lisa Jo's for the rules and to link up your post after you write. Hope to see you there!

Encountering Jesus ~ "... take up thy bed and walk!"

The Pool of Bethesda, by William Hogarth, 1736, retrieved from wikipaintings.org. 

After these things there was a feast of the Jews; and Jesus went up to Jerusalem.

Now there is in Jerusalem by the sheep gate a pool, which is called in Hebrew Bethesda, having five porches. In these lay a multitude of them that were sick, blind, halt, withered, waiting for the moving of the water. For an angel of the Lord went down at certain seasons into the pool, and troubled the water: whosoever then first after the troubling of the waters stepped in was made whole, with whatsoever disease he was holden. 

And a certain man was there, who had been thirty and eight years in his infirmity. When Jesus saw him lying, and knew that he had been now a long time in that case , he saith unto him, "Wouldest thou be made whole?" 

The sick man answered him, "Sir, I have no man, when the water is troubled, to put me into the pool: but while I am coming, another steppeth down before me." 

Jesus saith unto him, "Arise, take up thy bed, and walk."

And straightway the man was made whole, and took up his bed and walked. 

Now it was the Sabbath on that day. So the Jews said unto him that was cured, "It is the Sabbath, and it is not lawful for thee to take up thy bed."

But he answered them, "He that made me whole, the same said unto me, Take up thy bed, and walk." 

They asked him, "Who is the man that said unto thee, Take up thy bed, and walk?" 

But he that was healed knew not who it was; for Jesus had conveyed himself away, a multitude being in the place. 

Afterward Jesus findeth him in the temple, and said unto him, "Behold, thou art made whole: sin no more, lest a worse thing befall thee." 

The man went away, and told the Jews that it was Jesus who had made him whole. (John 5.1-15, ASV)

Last week, I parked on the word "Arise," and the thoughts elicited by meditating and praying through that single word. 

That, however, wasn't all Jesus said. He also told the man to gather up his bed, or the mat upon which he was laying, and to start walking. Getting up seemed crazy? What about balancing while standing on untried legs and leaning over after 38 years of no practice? Try picturing a high jumper successfully clearing the pole first try after nearly 4 decades of hiatus with no practice! Sure, the jumper's body might remember automatically what it needs to do, but strength, timing and even body shape has possibly changed over the years. Highly probable, don't you think, that that first attempt will not achieve success?

Yet we don't read of any hesitation or questions on the part of this man. He simply trusted and obeyed. I wonder what those first walking steps looked like. I wonder if, after standing and then picking up, he was confident that the walking would be similar and so he takes those first strides assertively? Or is he still feeling unsure and so he gingerly, timidly places one foot in front of the other, feels his foot solid and so commences a second step in similar fashion?

It probably doesn't really matter because the man trusted and obeyed. I know there are days that I trust and obey and confidently follow wherever it is that the Lord leads. But what about those other days, times when I still trust and obey yet do so continually under duress, with fear and trepidation and without complete confidence in the God I claim I trust. I believe God sees both as obedience, yet the second tears at His heart because He sees our apprehension and anxiety and He wants so much more, so differently, for me. One is obedience based on a confident feeling and closeness to God. The second is a persistent choice... even when nothing around confirms it as the sensible decision, simply because I am committed to trusting and believing God in all circumstances. Either way, God accepts both confident obedience as well as tiptoed compliance.

As Jesus melts away into the crowd, this man then walks right into a high-power confrontation with the Pharisees. Sometimes those Pharisees seem more like bullies than anything else, so it is easy to forget that, in general, they were the respected, well-liked, good neighbor sorts of guys. Their motivations may not have always been pure in doing good... but they were the ones who, in that culture, you could count on to be generously charitable, hard workers, good neighbors, invested in the community, etc. It sobers, in fact, to recognize just how much of myself I see in the Pharisees - if I'll hold up a clean mirror to check the reflection.

Instead of being amazed and thankful for a miracle, the Pharisees only see a violation of the standard established to help keep them from falling into sin. There is nothing wrong with holding to a standard of behavior. Yet this point is particularly convicting for me, because it is easy to feel good about holding to the letter of the law rather than abiding by the spirit of the law. How often do I miss the miraculous because I'm trying to adhere to a set of rules, or because I'm criticizing (certainly in my heart if not aloud) one who hasn't kept man's added-to standards and rules? The Pharisees, sadly, completely missed the point. The Pharisees had the opportunity to encounter Jesus but they simply dismissed what He had done as outright sinful at worst... too risky and too current and too worldly at best. It challenged their world view and couldn't be contained in their box for God. Jesus wasn't meeting their expectations of what a good Messiah would look like, talk like, act like, be like... He didn't esteem the same images they did... he didn't fit their preconceived ideas... 

Obviously, their ideas couldn't be wrong. After all they had tradition, the law of Moses and years of best practice on their side.

I wonder... what Jesus would look like if He came into our conservative evangelical culture of today? How would I treat him?

************************************************

What do you think?

-edited post from the archives:

original post

this week's gratitude list

(#'s 3827 - 3853)

having a sorta free Friday morning to enjoy the habitual Five Minute Friday write and community, after so many Fridays without. I've kept up, but it hasn't been leisurely. :-)

challenged once again by looking in the mirror via the book Extreme Righteousness
(If you are interested in reading the book, check out a few excerpts here.)

little warrior princesess running like mad all over the compound

3 Musketeers:  Elsie Mae, Imogen and Mary Michelle - they're gonna miss their little Aussie girlfriend - and I'm gonna miss listening to their antics most afternoons

IBBS and TriM graduation celebration

giggly boys sabotaging Minecraft games

beautiful friends, of all ages

challenged to be thinking on brave... and not believing it coincidence

that my mom can be with my grandparents when they are struggling

hoping I'll have the opportunity to be with them again, too... soon

root beer floats that really worked

best EVER apple pie on a Thursday night... just because Anna wanted to make a treat for the rest of the family (and I'm not kidding when I say best ever!)

preparing to try cucumber salsa with guacamole on the side

this refrain playing in my mind as I get tired: "little by little, inch by inch... by the yard its hard, by the inch what a cinch! Never stare up the stairs just step up the steps. Little by little, inch by inch..."

vitamin c, honey and lemon or lime juice... garlic and onions... good for you, natural stuff

getting better, making progress... every single day

ladies' night out - a great meal and some wonderful conversation

obedient teens

hard working teens 

sounds of kids running and playing in the front yard, while I'm cooking dinner

Hebrews 12.2

preparing to play in the mud and sand with 2nd and 3rd graders... again

digging foundations, building walls and finding brochette sticks to be used as timbers

on line courses... almost finished

grad banquet planning finally beginning

super sweet thank you from a weekend visitor

heart shaped pancake with butters for Mother's Day

Ten most recent posts in this series: 

• Time to tarry
• "But, but... THAT MAN?"
• Heading direct instead of heading out of the way... and what that led to!
• When He asks for a drink...
• Jesus encounters just do that!
• The Capernaum Nobleman (I)
• Meeting Jesus Changes Parenting Priorities - The Capernaum Nobleman (II)
• An Amazing Afternoon Hanging out at the Pool
• When Jesus asks me, what is my response?
• "Arise..."

Click here for all of the titles and their corresponding links in the Encountering Jesus series.

My Mother's Day Musings...

It's such a bane... the tyranny of the importance of THIS particular moment, THIS specific crisis...

I've been thinking about this for a few weeks now, largely motivated by extreme amounts of frustration and not a little bit of hurt feelings as I've felt, at times, the scapegoat for things that were totally outside my realm of control. I know I don't have the market on those sorts of feelings... someone (or more than one... outside my kids) possibly feels I've scapegoated them, so I'll also be the first to admit that I'm quite probably blind and often times, as guilty as the next person, perhaps even more so.

I just wish I knew what to do about it. 

• First, I want to let God help me fix this problem within myself. 
• Secondly, I hope to teach and disciple my children - hoping that as they see me model a more godly action or response, they too will learn. 
• Thirdly, I wish I could encourage those with whom I work on a regular basis to make better, gentler decisions and that thinking about this topic might help interpersonal relationships in work and ministry. 

So... what do I mean by bane?

Not this ugly, scary looking dude... although Batman might disagree with me!

Artwork for the cover of Batman: Gotham Knights vol. 34, Nov, 2002.Art by Brian Bolland.
Retrieved from Wikipedia, 4/292013.

According to Dictionary.com, bane is:  

What in the world am I talking about? 

I'll speak in first person, because as I said, I'm as guilty of this as the next... but I also don't believe it is me alone, a just-my-problem situation.

In general, I have greatly over-inflated, grandiose ideas and opinions about just how important the work and the ministry that I do is, in the overall scheme of eternity. I treat way too many situations as life and death equivalents and am all too willing to find a battle I think worth fighting. In the process, I assume those who may disagree with me are messing with divine plans and possibly out to ruin me personally... and I take personal offense someone might consider my ideas and opinions ridiculous, invalid or as holding no weight whatsoever. I forget that it is most likely that regardless of what happens in whatever particular "crisis" I'm living, the sun will  rise the next morning, whether things go my way or not.

Okay! So that's not the case... exactly! 

That includes a bit of purposeful hyperbole... I don't actually completely forget. I just act like it... or think like it... deep down inside where only God and I can see...

Don't misunderstand me - I do think God cares about my daily activities. He wants me to be the very best I can be, to do all that I do to bring honor and glory to His name, to love God and people, to live holy and pure. I do believe that He works in and through all that we do and that choices I make today may impact eternity... certainly my own. But I've also think I've let it become way too important in MY own eyes, or even when I manage some sense of balance, it is only because I'm fighting that tendency the whole way slash entire time.

In this world, working with other fallen and sinful people, I have to find a balance. 

With a lot fewer exceptions than I tend to imply {by my thoughts, words and sometimes actions}, most of my day to day work warrants very few battles especially not each time someone disagrees with me, particularly not when I'm talking about my colleagues in ministry. You know, the guys on my side? The folks who form my team?

So one of my fellow teachers focuses on the importance of not overburdening the teaching staff while I emphasize the sometimes opposing need of that same teaching staff to go above and beyond to accommodate for the needs of exceptional students. We have different priorities and I don't find anything sinful or wrong in leaning towards one or the other point of view. Sin, however, can barnstorm the picture based on how I choose to respond to such differing opinions: 

• do I stop communicating, 
• do I indicate my disagreement subtly via facial expressions and body language, 
• do I use angry, frustrated or inflammatory words when I converse, 
• do I go behind the other person's back or gossiping about my frustrations,
• do I manipulate and try and get others to take sides...???

Gentle, respectfully honoring and kind dialogue where I agree to support the final decision regardless of my initial position because I trust the motives of my colleague is going to accomplish more in the long run, while preserving unity and relationship. 

It comes down to this: Do I choose to believe the best in that other person, do I trust that God's Spirit is actively working in his/her life? If I do, then I can believe the other person also sincerely seeks to do his/her job to the best of his/her ability, to honor God, loving Him and people with his/her skills and position with as much dedication and passion as I do. If not, then I am first ready to take offense and respond in kind, weapons drawn and eager to draw the first blood... metaphorically speaking, of course.

I feel as though I've been stumbling through battlefields littered with wounded this year because of these sorts of battles over important but not THAT important decisions and policies - among my colleagues and even within my own family and closest friends. Do I refuse to cooperate because someone failed to communicate my responsibilities in a timely manner? Do I get angry because a colleague disagrees with my professional opinion regarding a child's need for specific services or not? Do I walk away with a lower opinion of one of my teens because s/he stood their ground and refused to compromise in an area where s/he felt to do so would compromise their integrity?

I hope not...

I hope I will recognize and admit that I do have my own personal agenda - something to be expected and accepted. 

The bigger concern is can I... will I... lay down that agenda, admit the existence of an inflated perspective and a way too high opinion of my own importance and work for God-obedient, God-honoring compromise?