Five Minute Friday ~ Tired (of those who try and explain and justify instead of using another's criticisms or observations as the impetus to jump start much needed change - myself sometimes included)

I had a conversation with a teacher friend of mine recently. At the private Christian school where this teacher works, support personnel (i.e. speech and language therapists, occupational therapists, learning specialists, etc.) are not employed by the school. They are either hired by the parents or are provided by the public system to ensure that children with identified disabilities (and individualized education plans) receive the necessary adaptations and services that will allow them to genuinely access and profit from their education. My teacher friend decided one day to ask one of these specialists (who was not a believer) if the Christian school where they both worked was any different than the public schools where the specialist was also employed. 

The specialist's response was surprising.

As a nonChristian outsider, the specialist said that the parents with their focus on protecting marriage and the nuclear family as well as their involvement in the school and the lives of their children was definitely different. This individual also remarked that students were, in general, more obedient, polite and respectful - although certainly not perfect. Textbooks, teaching materials and lessons also often reflected the different worldview of those adhering to the Christian faith. All of that is exactly what we would expect to hear. 

So, what's so surprising?

It was the final question. My friend then asked the specialist if there was anything different about the teachers at the Christian school. 

"No, not really,"  the specialist replied.

As a teacher, a Christian teacher, one who has worked in both public, private and international settings, my only response was: "Ouch!" And - I was deeply convicted.

I can easily (and more or less logically) explain away the specialist's observation:

1. Most who enter the field of teaching do so because they care about children, want to see them grow and thrive, reach their potential and perhaps, someday, help make our world a better place. As all have been created in the image of God, this is clearly God's image shining through -certainly possible even in someone who does not yet follow him.
2. Good teaching practices are good teaching practices and we can't expect Christian schools to be the only ones using them.
3. This specialist did not understand because s/he did not have the Holy Spirit helping him/her to interpret what s/he saw.
4. The specialist responded with his/her own personal agenda, perhaps less than truthfully.

Or, I (or we - Christian teachers) could ask God to reveal if there is something we need to change in Christian education.

Of course, that's a dangerous question. 

What if an honest answer reveals that I need to change?

What if the problem is not simply the content of the education, but rather the process by which I'm communicating that content? 

(five minute timer sounded here)

As a Christian teacher, I should be concerned about excellence: end results - excellence, observable and measurable; behavior that adheres to Christian principles and traditions. But does this drive for excellence render other important qualities expendable? Do I control (i.e. by rules and regulation and suffocating supervision) so much that I take away occasions for my students to choose and then experience the results and/or consequences of their choices? Do I model service and sacrifice while never giving my students opportunity to do the same? Do I continually demand performance, never allowing my students to experience grace demonstrated?

What if that specialist never saw the difference in school staff because s/he did not see people who loved the Lord their God with all their heart, soul and mind AND people who loved their neighbors (other staff and personnel, students, parents) as themselves. Jesus was the one who said to his disciples: ""By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another." (John 13.35, NASB)

Yes, I'm tired.

I'm tired of people who should know better - whose first response is defensive, striving to justify the status quo, clinging to past and present traditions and never willing to consider that maybe they need to change. I'm tired of Christians who walk in fear and who thus can't consider the testimony, observations or suggestions of others "outside the fold." Yes, greater is He that is in us than he who is in the world... and we forget that God has spoken truth in many ways - His Word, His Son, His prophets, His creation, His people... even a pagan king and a donkey.

And I'm tired of always having to battle that exact same impulse in moi-même each time I'm confronted with yet another incongruity in my life, family and ministry. 

Five Minute Friday ~ Accept

It is hard to accept criticism.

Why?

I think the primary reason is pride. I also think our current world where image means so much and people (myself included) attempt to cultivate their desired image via social media, etc., only feeds that pride and makes it an even greater temptation.

True. Sometimes the criticism is offered with less than altruistic motives. Does that give me the right to not listen, just because the person spoke at least partial truth to me with less than honorable, purely unselfish motives? Ideally, that wouldn't be the situation, but in reality, it is - probably as often as not. So, do I discard those words without personal reflection because I'm disgruntled by the one (or his/her manner) who offered them? 

Then, sometimes criticism it is just offered. 

What do I mean by that? 

Let me explain, for I'm often guilty as charged.

The other day I "criticized" someone in my family, not upset, not angry... just observing something done without reflection that could have been done better and simply hoping to teach a better way. I asked who had put the salad we'd eaten for dinner away in the fridge, without an appropriate cover for the bowl. Said person owned up right away. I replied that the salad needed to be transferred to a better container and the lid put on, or all of the lettuce would wilt.  

Said person, I think, was both a little hurt and mildly offended. After all, said person had taken the initiative to help me with dinner clean-up and all I did was criticize.

True - I could have "done" the criticism better. Actually - no excuses - I should have. 

But I wasn't thinking of it as criticism. I was thinking of it as teaching (and that teaching should have been done better, as well). I'm a teacher and a mom of eight. Teaching comes very naturally to me, almost as naturally as breathing. So when I saw something that should have been done differently, could have been done better, the teacher in me spoke up. 

When others are criticizing me or something I've done, why can't I look at it more like that. More like someone is giving of their time to teach me, to help me become better and put myself into the position of being teachable?

I've recently spent some time reflecting on criticism and what the Bible has to offer on the subject. I think I'll finish with some of those thoughts:

• Let the godly strike me! It will be a kindness! If they correct me, it is soothing medicine. Don’t let me refuse it. (Psalm 141:5)
• Teach me, and I will keep quiet. Show me what I have done wrong. (Job 6:24)
• If you reject discipline, you only harm yourself; but if you listen to correction, you grow in understanding. (Proverbs 15:32)
• People who accept discipline are on the pathway to life, but those who ignore correction will go astray. (Proverbs 10:17)
• Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy. (Proverbs 27:6)
• The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense. (Proverbs 27:9)
• Whoever stubbornly refuses to accept criticism will suddenly be destroyed beyond recovery. (Proverbs 29:1)

Five Minute Friday ~ The Greatest Surrender Ever

Thanksgiving is behind us.

Christmas is, literally, just days away - unless, of course, you are under the age of 12. Then it still seems like forever and a day away.

And I've had a song playing around in my head that I hadn't thought of for years.

Released way back in 1983 - like, when I was a sophomore in high school (over half of my kids have already achieved that milestone) - this song struck a chord.

Like the song in the wind - Lord you call me again:  surrender.

And I find myself drawn to your voice, as I lean toward the choice: surrender.

Like the echoing sound of the sea - Lord you echo in me: surrender.

Like a dancer I'll follow again, to the music within: surrender.

For the freedom I seek is the word that you speak, running deep as the song of my soul.

To be totally sure and totally yours and totally...surrendered.

Like the song of the rain, you repeat the refrain: surrender.

And I know that your music is mine, and I follow in time: surrender.

For the freedom I seek is the word that you speak, running deep as the song of my soul.

To be totally sure and totally yours and totally... surrendered.

Like the song in the wind - Lord you call me again: surrender.

And at last I can soar like a bird on the wings of the word: surrender.

Surrender is a hard word, for anyone... 

It is definitely counter-cultural and unpolitically correct. It was true way back when - as a competitive swimmer on an almost continuously undefeated high swim team, victory was THE goal. Surrender... giving up and just letting an opponent touch the wall before me... was unthinkable, no matter how bad my lungs and muscles hurt, no matter how hopeless a particular race "felt."

It remains true today - as I consider how hard it is to apologize to my husband or kids, to admit I was wrong and another was right. A cursory glance at social media proves I'm not the only to face this struggle.

Look through some of the common synonyms and idiomatic expressions for the word: abandon, capitulate, cede, concede, give in, hand over, quit, relinquish, renounce, succumb, yield, fall, knuckle, buckle under, cave in, cry uncle, eat crow, eat humble pie, play dead, put up the white flag, thrown in the towel, toss it in... None of these are typically considered favorably.

Once I began speaking and reading in French, the etymology of the word literally jumped off the page ~ literally, it means to give back over.

To return, or give back, to the one who had it originally. 

Thinking about this relative to the Christmas season rapidly descending upon us, I started wondering.  

What was Jesus' greatest act of surrender?

• His incarnation and birth: "Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man..." (Phil 2, NIV)

• His submission to human authority: "Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps. 'He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth.' When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly." (2 Pet 2, NIV)

• His submission to death on the cross: "During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with fervent cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent surrender. Son though he was, he learned obedience from what he suffered and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him." (Heb 5, NIV)

I don't know the answer to that question - but I do know that the second two wouldn't have been possible without the first.

So... as Advent begins, as I look toward Christmas... This year, I'll be spending time meditating upon Jesus and the greatest surrender ever... and remembering that surrender isn't such a bad word.

*************************************************************************************
Five Minute Friday - set a timer for five minutes and write whatever the given prompt brings to mind. In the interest of transparency, I typically add any photos and links AFTER the five minutes are finished. This time, I also added the Bible verses included (although I did get the references down) as part of this post.

Want to write with us? Head over to Heading Home, Kate Motaung's blog.

Five Minute Friday ~ Journey that includes Physicians and dentists, Panic attacks and Pretty amazing grace... "Oh my!"

Might as well start off by saying that I'm not setting a timer, not watching a clock, not worrying about keeping this to five minutes... although in the spirit of Five Minute Friday, I will skip the overthinking and editing that is normally a part of my blog posts.

Of course, if I did watch the clock... took the time to overthink... went back to edit... 

Chances are? 

I'll never hit that post button.

So without further ado, here it goes.

This journey began 12 or 13 years ago... and if I'm honest - a season of burnout. Still not sure of the exact mechanism... the why or the how... but somehow a combination of 

• stress due to my stage of life - busy misso mama with home and ministry responsibilities...
• parenting many children in close succession and the wear and tear of successive, close pregnancies and long term nursing -physically- on my body...
• medications instrumental in preventing malaria, but that did bad things to both my mind and body...
• stress due to high expectations that I had for myself as an overseas missionary...
• through the roof stress in co-worker relationships, both perceived-by-me AND real...
• rising tensions as well as physical dangers and threats in our neck of the woods...
• a downed high tension electric line that resulted in persistent and long power outages (while living in what has, at times, been described as the hottest capital city in the world)...AND
• an out-of-the-blue tree nut allergy suddenly emerging...

plus some other things that I'm forgetting as well as a few that I'm choosing not to list...

All of these mixed made a powerful cocktail that knocked me off my feet for what felt like a long season.

I began experiencing panic attacks. 

At first it was hard to distinguish an attack from an a reaction to tree nuts - heart racing then pounding then actual palpitations, difficulty taking a deep breath or breathlessness, a numbness and feeling that both my tongue and throat were swelling, extreme nausea, a fear of being alone (in case it was a real, physical issue) but an even greater terror of anyone seeing me in said state, cold sweats, physical trembling all over. 

Getting rid of the tree nuts was an easy solution, except that it didn't stop the attacks. 

Then, I started to figure out specific triggers: an angry disagreement with my husband, a sick child, a need to take (or give to one of my kids) a new medication where I didn't know what sorts of side effects would be experienced... but I still experienced mad symptoms, feeling like a cat perched high on a tree branch and I didn't know what to do or how to let anyone help. Still, no real relief.

For out of the blue and no reason I could determine, I'd be blindsided by an attack. Although, I guess, in theory, it is hard to be blindsided when those attacks were happening on an almost daily basis.

We went to our doctor. She said cut out all caffeine and get at least eight hours of sleep at night, but that brought no improvement. I changed malaria prophylactics, but if that helped, it wasn't immediately evident due to the long half-life of the medication - or so I was told. After another major episode, an injection to reduce that fight-or-flight response and a resulting bout with cellulitis, our doc referred me to a cardiologist. (Totally parenthetical, but visiting a cardiologist in Niger was enough to bring on a panic attack all by itself as they'd have me remove my shirt in the exam room and then walk to the procedures/imaging department, through the hallway filled with other waiting patients, for the actual test. It didn't seem to bother the local women, but I wasn't a local woman.) He first did a 48 hour heart monitor/EKG and then wanted to follow up with an ultrasound of my heart. His diagnosis was pulmonary hypertension. Not encouraging - and it wreaked havoc with finding medical insurance coverage for our family, specifically me, for the next decade. He said absolutely no more pregnancies, no caffeine, lots of rest, minimal stress - and come back in six months to see if anything had changed. Not long after, we learned that Mary Michelle was on her way... I ended up going to the States for that delivery.

It was finally an expat missionary nurse who helped me take an initial step on my journey to "recovery." She recommended a medication used by psychiatric patients, at a low dosage and one that I could buy over-the-counter in Niamey. At first, I took it regularly; then I gradually weaned myself off and used on an as-needed basis when experiencing an panic attack. I carry that little bottle of pills in my purse everywhere... still... even though they are long expired.

After a decade of these attacks

• no more malaria prophylactic, 
• no longer living in the excessive heat, 
• not having been pregnant for almost several years and not having a nursing baby for almost as many, 
• a lifestyle where I try and get regular outdoor physical activity, rest and sleep (even when I'm sure I don't need it),
• avoiding excessive caffeine intake - even when I'm sure I do need it (or at least want it), 
• quiet introvert-recharge-time alone at home - without the continual come and go of visitors as was so normal during our years in Africa.

I just went through two full years without even the hint of a panic attack (literally... October marked two years) - including an international trip where I had changed handbags and didn't have my purse placebo with me.

Until I went to the dentist a little over a week ago. 

I needed work done on both sides of my mouth: a small cavity and a chipped/broken molar way in the back that I'd waited way too long to have repaired. As is typical, the dentist (a young guy, with a man bun - all of our girlies think he's really nice... and hot!) used a topical med to numb my gums before injecting the anesthesia. I must have swallowed a little because my tongue and throat lost sensation and what feeling I did have resembled the swollen feeling I'd get back before we figured out the tree nut thing, back when I had regular panic attacks. And I had a stupid attack right there in the dentist office. Thankfully, after about 10 minutes and realizing that I was able to breathe just fine, gracious, kind and concerned dentist and hygienist/helper, and finally, some water to rinse the topical out of my throat, we were able to continue with the procedure on the back tooth. I did, however, opt to return the following week for the little cavity as really, all I wanted to do was escape back to my house.

I went in yesterday for that little cavity, knowing that I needed him to look at the back tooth again. I thought I had a little morsel of glue stuck under my gum that I'd tried and tried to tease out using dental floss - but had had no success. He found that and removed it pretty quickly. But when he looked a little more closely, he saw that the repair he'd done had actually cracked and a chunk had fallen out and wedged itself under my gum line as well. No wonder I couldn't chew on that side of my mouth all week! 

So... a subsequent repair, lots of digging around already tender gums - which we decided to do without anesthesia this time because we wanted me to be able to truly feel if it had been repaired. Of course, that meant I also got to truly feel the work being done as well. I'll suffice it to say, "Ouch!" and I did come home and cry cause I couldn't even when I wanted to while in the dental office. My mouth is still sore today. But the problem now seems to be fixed and no more dental appoints scheduled until my next cleaning - in a year!

As he started to work, as we moved from discomfort to downright uncomfortable to flat out painful, my heart started to race and pound and I feared another attack. Then a small still voice deep inside whispered, "Listen to the music."

It was no longer the pop music of the local station that had been playing while I was in the waiting room. It was praise and worship music - in English - and frankly, that doesn't even exist in Quebec City! It was like I was listening to a Christian radio station back in the States. And it played for the entire time the dentist was working on my teeth.

I didn't expect that. And while my heart continued to race, my one hand was clinching the arm of the dentist chair, my mouth hurt something fierce and I had to keep reminding myself that I could breathe just fine (during the instrumental parts), I was able to lay there while he worked and concentrate on words of praise and worship.

Grace is like that, - often showing up in the most unexpected places.

I don't know?  Perhaps the dentist himself... or his hygienist... picked out some music that they thought might specifically help me this time, after the panic attack the week before? The week before, while waiting for the attack to diminish, we'd actually had a pretty incredible 10 minute conversation about our time in Africa, faith and belief in Christ, why we'd gone in the first place and how I'd found out about my allergy/started experiencing the panic attacks. Then, the dentist left the room for another 10 minutes while the anesthesia took effect and the hygienist and I continued to speak. She'd attended a parochial primary and secondary school and had friends who'd done overseas charity work, so she continued to ask specific questions about our work and life in Niger.

If it wasn't that, perhaps the Holy Spirit did some miraculous thing and I heard the music that I needed to hear instead of what was really playing (although I don't tend to lean towards that sort of explanation - a bit too mystical for my comfort). I don't know if one of the receptionists changed to an internet station instead of a local station. 

What I do know is that when I needed that calming influence, God - or God through others - provided! THAT. IS. GRACE-IN-ACTION!

Time off... together, enjoying being outside on a beautiful day. and lots of physical activity... always helps when I'm starting to feel the pressure mounting. While back in the States for a training seminar last month, Tim and I took a day to visit DC. I've included a few of my favorite photos from the day, and our 14+ mile monumental metropolis trek!

In this journey we call life, grace catches us off guard, when we least expect it. In fact, I'm pretty sure it is much more prevalent than we even begin to recognize ~ for "every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning." James said that. Or, to quote Paul, "I besought the Lord [much more than] thrice, that it might depart from me. And he said unto me, 'My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.' Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong."

Top 14 Posts of 2014 (Part 2)

#5 Encountering Jesus ~ and His traumatic love

This was one of my personal favorite posts of the year... a lesson God's still teaching me... and I was pleasantly surprised to find out that others resonated with these thoughts as well!"

"...When I'm following Jesus - I can count on the fact that I'll never be walking in total darkness. That guarantee isn't there when I take off on my own and the guarantee isn't that it won't be dark or shadowy or obscure... just that the darkness won't be complete. But that when caveat can be huge. I will have light because we're talking about Jesus as the provider, the source, of that light. It is true because Jesus is true and never lies. Jesus cannot be less than Who He is. His very nature will never allow Him to do less than what He has promised. This truth depends on His desire and ability to act, and that is unquestionable as He's proven it so over and over and over and... It depends on the fact that He loves, that He IS... love ~ 

But, as RC Sproul wrote in The Holiness of God:  "No man was ever more loving than Jesus Christ. Yet even His love made people angry. His love was a perfect love, a transcendent and holy love, but His very love brought trauma to people. This kind of love is so majestic we can't stand it." The Pharisees run headlong into this reality in this Jesus encounter.

His love seeks always and only the best for its recipients. 

That means His love is often incomprehensible, confusing, painful, frustrating, and even terrifying...."

#4 Encountering Jesus ~ Divine Makeovers

The photo that went along with this post was part of what made it a favorite - of mine as well as of many readers! 

"Every time we come back from four years overseas, we see in an instant how people have changed (and know that people can see those same changes in us as well). Sometimes, it is just the effect of time passing and life moving on - more gray hair than before, more wrinkles, moving a little slower, weight gain/loss, additional children... Other times it goes much deeper - now-suddenly-to-us spouseless... or remarried to a different spouse. Other friends have walked away from Jesus and following the faith that united us. Some have come to know the Lord and we can relate on a level we never could before. Some have experienced deep sorrow or life-threatening illness or accident - and even though they are the same, they are unmistakably different as well. 

Ever had a friend who experienced a change and one result was that they became someone almost unrecognizable? One furlough we came home and my mom, who'd had short hair all of my life, had let her hair grow long - well below shoulder length. It was a beautiful gray and she took the time to curl and style it. It really was lovely, but she looked like someone who resembled my mom... not my real mom. I'd continually kick myself because instead of telling her how nice she looked, all I could do was sputter about how different it was. She just didn't look like the mother I remembered for 40ish years... she wasn't the person-on-the-outside I expected to see and it took some getting used to. I'd just about made it to that point when she cut her hair short again!

Imagine that same sort of change - but much more significant because it wasn't/isn't simply external, but was/is a change that affected/affects every aspect of who that person was/is.

Yikes!

That's what happened to this blind guy. 

His story is rapidly becoming another Scripture favorite. I guess it is okay to have lots of favorite places in God's Word?..."

#3 Trusting in the Sufficiency and Sovereignty of God

This post addresses some of the real and nitty gritty of not just missionary life, but life following Jesus...

"Two weeks ago, I started a series that I'm hoping will be both a challenge and encouragement to you, based off of a sermon by the senior pastor at my sending church. Before delving into my notes, however, I'd like to share a story of one of our scariest moments overseas... one of those times when our only hope was to trust in God, His sovereignty and particularly?  In His sufficiency.

The story centers around our precious Anna...

She was six years old, in her first full year of school at a local French language school, still young enough that we called her by her baby nickname (Anna-lu) and that she still cried when we dropped her off at school - before bravely trudging on in through the gate. Elsie Mae had recently joined the family... she was only a few weeks old... 

One afternoon, Anna came home from school's morning session telling us she didn't feel well. Over the course of our sieste that day, she continued to wilt. I was pretty sure she was running a fever and so we took her to the recording studio where Tim was working (and the air conditioner was running) to see if we could cool her down. She only ended up chilled and uncomfortable, curled up by her daddy's feet under the production desk, as far away from the AC as she could be.

I decided to take her to the doctor.

Once there, she promptly threw up all over the waiting room... which sent us to the front of the line. A blood test confirmed that she had malaria and our doctor immediately prescribed medication. I think it took three pharmacies to find it. Three days later, her prescription had run its course, but Anna wasn't acting as if she felt any better..."

#2 When a Colleague Fails

This was a convicting and hard post to write...

"How are we supposed to act when a colleague sins?

It happens, and I’m not talking about the respectable sins with which we all struggle. I’m talking about the big ones – the ones that result in missionaries sent home from the field or pastors asked to leave their churches…

What are we to do? How are we supposed to act?

I know what sorts of behaviors and attitudes surface most naturally in me.

I criticize. Blame. Ostracize. Shame.

I want to gossip – even though I usually manage to restrain myself. I convince myself I could NEVER sin that sin – at least not the same way nor as sordidly as my colleague did… I sigh as I wonder how the ministry will ever weather the repercussions.

I want to disqualify that person from ever being part of “my team,” again. I might thank God for protecting me from such a wretched mistake, possibly praying, “Thank You, God, that I am not like those those who are unrighteous, who steal, those who commit <that really bad sin>… and Lord, especially that I’m not like____________” filling in the blank with the name of my “fallen” colleague.

Jesus had some pretty strong words for such an attitude..."

#1 "The cold never bothered me anyways!"

It makes me smile that this was the most popular post this past year. But since the original goal of this online space was to keep people updated with our family and to let them feel like they "know" our kids, it is fitting...!

People always ask us how her adaptation to life in America is going... since prior to touching foot in this strange place last summer, she had no memories of her passport country.

She seems to be adjusting better than her older siblings... at least to weather related aspects... Don't you think?

Never would've suspected this.

Just a few months ago, all she really knew was life on the backside of the Sahara.

Why "walK with THE Wise?"

Last Spring, at my elementary kids' Spring Concert, one of the classes - and actually not a class containing one of my crew - sang a song... an old Patch the Pirate song I remember from many moons ago. Called "Walk with the Wise," I can still hear those second graders emphatically emphasizing the final "k" sound every time they sang the word walK... all throughout the song.  

The words go something like this:

You'd better
Walk with the wise
You'd better flee from the fool
Find a friend who walks with God
To walk along with you
Choose your friends carefully
Be what you ought to be
Walk
Walk
Walk with the wise

The point of the song is to be wise when you pick with whom you are hang out. As long as it doesn't encourage Christians (or give them excuse) to retreat into Christian compounds where they never rub shoulders with the rest of the world, it is excellent advice.

I started thinking about the song because just last week I read the Bible verse - for a totally different reason - on which the song is based: He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed. (Proverbs 13.20) I had already decided I was going to do 31 days of Proverbs as a blogging project, so I'm reading through the book of Proverbs as a part of my devotional time this October. Then, I thought it would be fun to try and join in with the Five Minute Friday writers, who are spending only 5 minutes writing each of their 31 days posts.

Yeah - it is getting complicated.

But I think it will be fun.

What was the reason I turned to Proverbs 13.20? Because if I want to "walK with THE Wise," my very best choice is to make sure I walk humbly each day with my Jesus, doing justly, loving mercy and agreeing with Him as He teaches me and shows me what it is to walk with Him in a world that, for the most part, could care less about Him.

The one caveat I'm allowing myself - I will have my quiet/devo time and study each Proverb - for as long as the Lord leads and life allows, figure out how I'm going to relate it to the prompt (hoping I can), and then set the five minute timer.

Hope you'll tag along with me - be sure and comment if you do! 

Lately I've been reading about "picking up strippers... and... serving people just as they are."

That's a pretty a astonishing statement.

That's because that was the topic of the latest book I picked to review.

And since I know you are already thinking the question... 

I'll go ahead and answer it.

Yes.

I ABSOLUTELY picked this book because I was intrigued by the outrageous title... the provocative line drawing of high heeled shoes on the cover... the splash of scarlet on an otherwise gray scale cover.

After all, books with stripper in the title are not often on the shelves at your local Christian bookstore - be those virtual shelves or real (and heavy) wooden ones.

I was intrigued. Wouldn't you have been?

How to Pick up a Stripper and Other Acts of Kindness, by Todd and Erin Stevens, was challenging, refreshing and just downright fun to read. In fact, I read several chapters aloud to my husband as we were traveling last weekend. Todd pastors Friendship Community Church in Nashville, TN, and a key focus of their church is servant evangelism. Basically, what that means is that meeting needs, serving others, and spreading kindness - no strings attached - is evangelistic in nature when the goal is sharing God's love to others. This approach recognizes that spiritual growth (which most followers of Jesus recognize as a process after salvation) is also a process prior to salvation and our goal should always be encouraging people to move one step closer to knowing Jesus. One of their goals, as a church is to "aim love outward... to love [their] community in such a way that if [they] closed the doors tomorrow and ceased to exist as a church, then even the people who had never visited us on a Sunday would miss us terribly... [which] will only happen if [they] demonstrate love for [others] at a level they have never before experienced and would have never expected."

One of the outworkings of that philosophy (and the inspiration for the title of the book) led to Erin Stevens (Todd's wife) deciding to serve - extravagantly - those who worked at one of the strip clubs in town. Servant evangelism isn't their only push, however, in their desire to meet people where they are. They also encourage what they've labeled as kindness evangelism and Good Samaritan outreach. The ultimate goal is always to connect with people in a relevant way and to encourage them to make even the tiniest steps towards knowing God.

Hands down, this is one of the best books I've read on community outreach and serving those all around us. I don't know if I say that because it resonates with a direction I've been compelled to move in recent months or if it has challenged me even more to actively be a servant evangelist, but either way, I highly recommend this book. 

Let me know if you are interested in reading this one!

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookLook Bloggers <http://booklookbloggers.com> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 <http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html> : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Are you a "nogwogist?" Would you want to be?

Most who know me know that I'm a special education teacher. I've written several transition plans to help young people move successfully from secondary school into a post secondary school setting, and I care about equal access - not just to education but to life opportunities - for individuals with disabilities.

When I saw this book, I knew I HAD to read it...

The subtitle on the cover of No Greatness without Goodness, by Randy Lewis, pretty well sums it up. The book is all about "how a father's love changed a company and sparked a movement." When Randy and his wife's son Austin received a diagnosis of autism, life changed... drastically. As Randy started considering the future... the next moments... next weeks... next years... next days of life for his son, he decided to do something that would benefit not just his son, but many - and perhaps by example, all - individuals with disabilities. He wanted his son to someday have the security of a job. As the senior executive in Walgreen's, responsible for the functioning of the distribution centers of one of the largest and fastest growing pharmaceutical retailers in the United States, Randy set as his goal the creation of an inclusive workplace where those with disabilities would be employed under the same conditions, held to the same standards, for equal pay and with equal benefits - as their typically abled counterparts.

Not only is the story an authentic glimpse into life with a child like Austin, it is an encouraging and challenging one. The chapters are short and each one has a key point Mr. Lewis wants to make. He succeeds. As I finished the book, I realized that I'd dog-eared at least 20 plus pages where there were quotes, short stories, examples... something I wanted to go back and reread, write down, think on further, etc.

Some of those things I dog-eared?

• "Look deeper, even into troubles. There is gold to be found everywhere." (p. 27)
• "Principles are only the starting point. If you want to make a difference in the world, you need to act on what you believe." (p. 50)
• "The willingness to fail is the first step toward success." (p. 61) 
• "Compassion stirs us to remove the pain of the world. Justice stirs us to remove its cause." (p. 69)
• "It's time to ask yourself, 'If we can't, who can? Who else will make greatness and goodness rhyme?'" (p. 81) 
• "When people say 'best practice,' think best practice so far. If no one has ever done something before, that's an opportunity, not a stop sign." (p. 87)
• "Make no little plans; they have no magic to stir men's blood." - a quote of the 19th century architect Daniel Burnham (p. 97)
• Competence is like money that keeps earning interest. One day you can cash it in for an even bigger prize." (p. 103) 
• "We were no longer strangers doing a job; we were men and women coming together to do something important... Use every opportunity to help others see meaning in their work. They will be transformed from bricklayers to cathedral builders." (pp. 104,105)
• "Leaders must work consciously, constantly, and conspicuously to drive out fear... It stands in the way of greatness." (pp. 112,113)
• "We can delegate authority but not responsibility." (p. 124)
• "...many of the scenarios we imagine with dread never happen.... There were problems that we didn't anticipate, of course.... Uncertainty makes people jittery. The best question someone brought up at one of our planning meetings was 'What about the problems we haven't thought of?' I assured everyone that unforeseen problems weren't just a possibility but a certainty and that we would address those occasions as they came up.... We were doing something new, with few precedents to guide us. This meant that we would have to deal with uncertainty and depend on discovery along the way. It was more like blazing a new trail than like making the morning commute. Innovation is a journey, not a commute." (pp 126,127)
• "Doubt and inertia are the status quo's best friends. They always say no to change, risk and innovation." p. 132
• "Don't let the prospect of difficulty stand in the way of the grand possibility." (p. 135)
• "Forget about losing face. Worry about what will happen if you don't have the courage to keep going." (p. 141)
• "[Call] disabilities 'positive distractions' ...[Give] people the freedom to be themselves, with no need to hid their disabilities." (p. 181,182)
• "The workers at Habitat were men and women with obvious challenges. There was no hiding here. And there was no shame... here a disability was just a distraction from the typical, not a flaw in the person's humanity. Brokenness was not a source of shame, nor were gifts a source of pride. There was no 'worthiness' test." (p. 183)
• "There is no 'them'; there is just 'us.' Making that idea a reality changes the workplace. And the world." (p. 184) 
• "Set a clear and elevating goal that inspires and challenges. Focus on what can be, not on what can go wrong." (p. 189) 
• "It takes longer than you think to overcome history. Cultural change does not happen overnight; it requires years of reinforcement and constant attention. As every athlete knows, it takes more effort to stay in shape than it does to get in shape." (p. 193)
• "Greatness is proprietary, but goodness can be shared without being diminished." (p. 197) 
• "Greatness requires continuous energy to maintain and stands at a single point in time. Acts of goodness, in contrast, have a life and energy of their own and touch others in unpredictable ways." (p. 206)
• "As exhilarating as your own success is, it doesn't compare with the joy of helping others succeed. Everybody wins."

There are even more quote worthy phrases and sentences all throughout the book. This book is so much more than the dry story of the steps Walgreen's took to create an inclusive work environment. It is a gentle but exciting exhortation in the importance of seeing individual people, not objectives... a charismatic challenge to begin making changes, even when uncomfortable, for the benefit of those who've not received benefit before... a resounding reminder that there really is no greatness without goodness.

*************************************

Are you a nogwogist?

A nogwogist is someone who believes that:

1. no achievement can be considered great if detrimental to the common good
2. a leadership philosophy which seeks to maximize the benefit of all who are impacted by its decisions; ethical leadership; selfless leadership: it is about us not me.
3. a belief that it is possible and desirable seek to reconcile the disparate facets of our lives and embrace the best of all: e.g., achieve excellence, do rewarding work, make a difference and leave the world a better place; to be one person at home and the same person at work; combine good business and good citizenship; do well and do good.

Do you want to be? If so, how will you go about it?

photo credit: John C Abell via photopin cc