How Dare We !!?

Do not gloat when your enemy falls;

when they stumble, do not let your heart rejoice,

or the Lord will see and disapprove

and turn his wrath away from them.

(Proverbs 24.17,18)

I'll never forget how physically sick I felt the day a dangerous individual who had harmed others and sinned greatly died, or more accurately - was killed, and my Facebook feed was littered with celebration.  Many rejoiced saying that said individual deserved even worse than the consequences already received.

True enough. I really can't argue that.

Justice HAD been served.

The celebration, however, broke my heart. To know that a soul, one most likely not prepared to stand before God, had entered eternity unprepared? No longer did any opportunity exist for a change of heart for that individual. And people who love Jesus with abandon apparently felt no sorrow that a soul was now condemned to hell.

Actions have consequences. Absolutely! 

In fact, the consequences of my actions make hell a just destination for me, but for God's mercy and grace.

Sometimes I forget that. 

When I get all caught up in the hating of an antagonistic adversary or despicable foe, I totally lose sight of the fact that the only reason I only look any different in God's eyes than does "my enemy" is that because He sees me clothed in Christ's righteousness. Somehow, I start suspecting that my own righteousness and efforts are impressing the Almighty, if only just a little bit.

When that mindset creeps in, when I realize that I'm glad - rejoicing and celebrating because of another's 

• tottering,
• wavering and weakening where there was once strength,
• stumbling and falling,
• fainting,
• bereavement, 
• being cast down, 
• decaying, 
• failing, 
• feebleness, 
• ruin
• death?

I do not please God.

The only thing I can think of that begins to compare in my own life is when I see one of my children delighting and gloating in the deserved comeuppance of a sibling. Discipline is necessary and so critical as parents disciple children, but it pains to see one I love so much suffering through shame, guilt, conviction and/or consequences. 

It pains just as deeply, though, to see another one of my children enjoying their sibling's sadness, making merry as another reaps the aftermath they've brought on themselves. The more godly response would be sober sorrow.

Sober sorrow, however, must be the evidence of God's grace. This proverb warns, "Do not let...," words which remind me that rejoicing in another's just consequences or punishment is the natural and worldly-fleshly-sinful response. 

It is God's unfettered grace that enables His own to "not let" rejoicing ensue at the demise of a real or perceived enemy and to genuinely sit awhile with sober sorrow.

1st photo credit: adedip via photopin cc

2nd photo credit: Amarand Agasi via photopin cc

*originally published here, and slightly edited  and republished here.
Still convicting thoughts I regularly need to revisit, so revised and published once again..

The Trebuchet... or, "When does disagreement become hate?"

I remember the first time I remember hearing the word trebuchet.

That happened when friends of ours introduced Tim and I to the computer game Age of Empires (many, many moons ago). I actually played for awhile and then realized it was too addicting for me... as, in fact, most computer games are... I get started playing and then forget that anything else in this world exists... and that doesn't work too well if you are a mama of eight.

When I did play, however, I liked using trebuchets. I could attack from a more or less safe distance and the personal carnage was far removed.

I saw, with my own eyes, a trebuchet (and the ammunition they slung) for the very first time while we were in Scotland. The makers had even done what they could to make the weapon look pretty.

Ever wonder why we try and make our weapons "pretty?"

Speaking of weapons?

It is easy to use words like a trebuchet ~ especially over the internet. First we dress them up and make them look pretty and fancy. Then we launch them from afar - uncensored, un-careful, even sometimes uncaring... the impact of those words, how they might rip through hearts, batter minds, hammer souls... discouraging and disheartening, and humiliating. The result is never seen, at least not up close and personal, by the launcher of said words. 

That's not how I want to use words.

It is also easy to overuse words so that their impact becomes less striking... such overuse of emphatic words a makes what was once powerful lose meaning and become superfluous... yada yada yada...

I think that has already happened to words like love... adore... awesome... ??? And, as is so easy to do, I'm as guilty as the next person. In recent years, I believe the word hate has been added to that list. You hear the expressions hate crimes and hate speech thrown around a lot. But what I really hear is crimes committed against someone who had a different value than I... speech directed towards someone who believes different than I do on a particular topic. When we reduce hate to meaning expressing our disagreement focused around a particular issue - than we reduce all people to haters.

It is a fact: we will disagree. I find it frustrating that legitimate disagreement and discussion with civility and gentility is the exception, rather than the norm. Another fact? Some disagreement is healthy and part of what makes our world a fascinating, interesting place. Instead, someone says something we don't like or does something contrary to our opinion of what is right and wrong. We holler back in protest, sometimes angrily, even. And then that someone attempts to silence us, to draw eyes away from the real issue at hand by labeling us and our perspective as hateful... or vice versa.  And who wants others to think them hateful? Who craves wearing that label? The tendency, then, is to become quiet and not engage an issue.

Sometimes that is the right choice... after all, love can covers a multitude of sins, and if we are flinging words from our tongue like a well-aimed trebuchet, intending to deflect, damage or destroy, we deeply need to allow the Holy Spirit to examine our motives.

Other times? Well, maybe we need to think about these words Jesus said, and graciously, gently, kindly, winsomely... but still firmly, continue so speak truth, sometimes painful truth, into a world that no longer wants to hear what it most needs to hear:

Blessed are you when men hate you and ostracize you, and cast insults at you and spurn your name as evil, for the sake of the Son of Man. Be glad in that day, and leap for joy, for behold, your reward is great in heaven; for in the same way their fathers used to treat the prophets. Luke 6:22, 23 

in which I "think with my fingers" about an article titled "Why Millennials are leaving the Church"

One recent morning at church, we were challenged not to "turn moments of ministry to moments of anger because [we] make everything about self..."**

Additionally, we heard: 

...relationships of unity and understanding are not rooted in emotion or romance {or nostalgia or any of the other "feel-good" emotions}... rather they are rooted in worship.**

And then recently, I read: 

Human beings by their very nature are worshipers. Worship is not something we do; it defines who we are. You cannot divide human beings into those who worship and those who don’t. Everybody worships; it’s just a matter of what, or whom, we serve.” ~Paul David Tripp

Ouch!

That first (the subsequent as well, but particularly the first) statement touches about every single relationship in and aspect of my life... if I let myself think about it and even a fraction of the implications in daily life.

While thinking about those quotes, I read an article entitled "Why Millennials are Leaving the Church..."

I see articles like that and they concern me. There's a tendency (at least in my circles) to dismiss - because of knowing of the author, knowing of that individual's perspective and of knowing that there's many areas of disagreement... But then again, I think I really should pay attention - not to determine the right or the wrong of what has been written but to get at the heart of the problem as the younger generation perceives it. I've got children who qualify as millennials - I think it is worth my effort to understand, not so that I can debate the right or the wrong, but to better prepare me for parenting my rapidly maturing and growing up young'uns.

Words like these make me start asking myself hard questions (all quotes are from the article) ~

"...young adults perceive evangelical Christianity to be too political, too exclusive, old-fashioned, unconcerned with social justice and hostile to lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people."

"...young evangelicals often feel they have to choose between their intellectual integrity and their faith, between science and Christianity, between compassion and holiness." 

"...the evangelical obsession with sex can make Christian living seem like little more than sticking to a list of rules, and how millennials long for faith communities in which they are safe asking tough questions and wrestling with doubt." 

"...church-as-performance is just one more thing driving us away from the church, and evangelicalism in particular." 

"What millennials really want from the church is not a change in style but a change in substance... an end to the culture wars... a truce between science and faith... to be known for what we stand for, not what we are against... to ask questions that don’t have predetermined answers... churches that emphasize an allegiance to the kingdom of God over an allegiance to a single political party or a single nation... friends to feel truly welcome in our faith communities... to be challenged to live lives of holiness, not only when it comes to sex, but also when it comes to living simply, caring for the poor and oppressed, pursuing reconciliation, engaging in creation care and becoming peacemakers." 

"You can’t hand us a latte and then go about business as usual and expect us to stick around. We’re not leaving the church because we don’t find the cool factor there; we’re leaving the church because we don’t find Jesus there."

My first tendency, frankly, is to "amen" whole-heartedly because that bold-faced quote at the end is what I want my church to be, that is what I'm striving for as I pray and serve and work and minister. But then I must ponder: "How is it that the church, my church, is failing to communicate this goal, that this message is at their heart as well, to millennials and others?" I take heed, because I've heard similar sentiments, coming from the youth with whom I've worked and from my own becoming young adults.

I'm asking the Lord to show me if perhaps I am, and my church is, missing moments of ministry because others only perceive our disapproval and anger at sin (which sin rightfully should remain offensive to us) rather than a genuine challenge to live a holy life in every domain. 

Is it possible that I communicate a greater weight of importance centering on emotions and impressions and traditions of what's always done rather than worshipful service to the Almighty and relationships?

What do you think?

What other questions should I be asking?

How do we confront the precious people of the millennial generation with their sin, need for a Savior and His sacrificial gift as well as His daily sustaining grace? How do I grow so that my words and action communicate authentic worship and service, even when perspectives and understandings are different?

Any ideas?

**I think the opening quotes are by Paul David Tripp, but I didn't catch (or write down) the name.

My Mother's Day Musings...

It's such a bane... the tyranny of the importance of THIS particular moment, THIS specific crisis...

I've been thinking about this for a few weeks now, largely motivated by extreme amounts of frustration and not a little bit of hurt feelings as I've felt, at times, the scapegoat for things that were totally outside my realm of control. I know I don't have the market on those sorts of feelings... someone (or more than one... outside my kids) possibly feels I've scapegoated them, so I'll also be the first to admit that I'm quite probably blind and often times, as guilty as the next person, perhaps even more so.

I just wish I knew what to do about it. 

• First, I want to let God help me fix this problem within myself. 
• Secondly, I hope to teach and disciple my children - hoping that as they see me model a more godly action or response, they too will learn. 
• Thirdly, I wish I could encourage those with whom I work on a regular basis to make better, gentler decisions and that thinking about this topic might help interpersonal relationships in work and ministry. 

So... what do I mean by bane?

Not this ugly, scary looking dude... although Batman might disagree with me!

Artwork for the cover of Batman: Gotham Knights vol. 34, Nov, 2002.Art by Brian Bolland.
Retrieved from Wikipedia, 4/292013.

According to Dictionary.com, bane is:  

What in the world am I talking about? 

I'll speak in first person, because as I said, I'm as guilty of this as the next... but I also don't believe it is me alone, a just-my-problem situation.

In general, I have greatly over-inflated, grandiose ideas and opinions about just how important the work and the ministry that I do is, in the overall scheme of eternity. I treat way too many situations as life and death equivalents and am all too willing to find a battle I think worth fighting. In the process, I assume those who may disagree with me are messing with divine plans and possibly out to ruin me personally... and I take personal offense someone might consider my ideas and opinions ridiculous, invalid or as holding no weight whatsoever. I forget that it is most likely that regardless of what happens in whatever particular "crisis" I'm living, the sun will  rise the next morning, whether things go my way or not.

Okay! So that's not the case... exactly! 

That includes a bit of purposeful hyperbole... I don't actually completely forget. I just act like it... or think like it... deep down inside where only God and I can see...

Don't misunderstand me - I do think God cares about my daily activities. He wants me to be the very best I can be, to do all that I do to bring honor and glory to His name, to love God and people, to live holy and pure. I do believe that He works in and through all that we do and that choices I make today may impact eternity... certainly my own. But I've also think I've let it become way too important in MY own eyes, or even when I manage some sense of balance, it is only because I'm fighting that tendency the whole way slash entire time.

In this world, working with other fallen and sinful people, I have to find a balance. 

With a lot fewer exceptions than I tend to imply {by my thoughts, words and sometimes actions}, most of my day to day work warrants very few battles especially not each time someone disagrees with me, particularly not when I'm talking about my colleagues in ministry. You know, the guys on my side? The folks who form my team?

So one of my fellow teachers focuses on the importance of not overburdening the teaching staff while I emphasize the sometimes opposing need of that same teaching staff to go above and beyond to accommodate for the needs of exceptional students. We have different priorities and I don't find anything sinful or wrong in leaning towards one or the other point of view. Sin, however, can barnstorm the picture based on how I choose to respond to such differing opinions: 

• do I stop communicating, 
• do I indicate my disagreement subtly via facial expressions and body language, 
• do I use angry, frustrated or inflammatory words when I converse, 
• do I go behind the other person's back or gossiping about my frustrations,
• do I manipulate and try and get others to take sides...???

Gentle, respectfully honoring and kind dialogue where I agree to support the final decision regardless of my initial position because I trust the motives of my colleague is going to accomplish more in the long run, while preserving unity and relationship. 

It comes down to this: Do I choose to believe the best in that other person, do I trust that God's Spirit is actively working in his/her life? If I do, then I can believe the other person also sincerely seeks to do his/her job to the best of his/her ability, to honor God, loving Him and people with his/her skills and position with as much dedication and passion as I do. If not, then I am first ready to take offense and respond in kind, weapons drawn and eager to draw the first blood... metaphorically speaking, of course.

I feel as though I've been stumbling through battlefields littered with wounded this year because of these sorts of battles over important but not THAT important decisions and policies - among my colleagues and even within my own family and closest friends. Do I refuse to cooperate because someone failed to communicate my responsibilities in a timely manner? Do I get angry because a colleague disagrees with my professional opinion regarding a child's need for specific services or not? Do I walk away with a lower opinion of one of my teens because s/he stood their ground and refused to compromise in an area where s/he felt to do so would compromise their integrity?

I hope not...

I hope I will recognize and admit that I do have my own personal agenda - something to be expected and accepted. 

The bigger concern is can I... will I... lay down that agenda, admit the existence of an inflated perspective and a way too high opinion of my own importance and work for God-obedient, God-honoring compromise?

wanting to be both wise and graceful

You know this, my dearly-loved brethren 

...let every one be quick to hear, 

slow to speak, 

and 

slow to be angry.

Weymouth New Testament

James 1.19

With the arrival of the really, really hot season... lots of power cuts... and Mom and Dad with very busy schedules that precludes lots of afternoons at the pool, the littlers have started rewatching the Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman episodes that we still have hanging around. While they've watched, I've been busy working away in the same room, sorting books, working on IEPs, folding laundry, planning road trips back to Michigan from California...

I've not been watching, but I have been listening.

I've noticed two things:

1. First, while I still thoroughly enjoy the show, sometimes the dialogue alone, without the visual/video component, is pretty cheesy.
2. Second? Many of the characters on the show are generally two dimensional, predictably reacting instead of thoughtfully responding, only looking at issues and circumstances from their singular point of view, sure of the correctness of their opinions and the exclusivity that their opinion is the only right way to look at an issue, and very, very, very vindictive - actually taking enjoyment in another's punishment or seeing a sinner live his/her consequences. Characters, for the most part, are entirely unwilling to walk a mile in another's shoes or to even consider considering the world from a different perspective.

And so I'm listening, and I'm thinking, "Ouch!"

You see, I like to think I'm fairly open-minded and slow to act on internal judgments and my tendencies towards critical attitudes... but in reality I'm guilty just like those fictional Colorado Springs inhabitants, a lot more than I'd care to admit. It might be the temptation to leave a snarky comment on a blog... or respond similarly to one left on my blog. What about my immediate response to a situation at work I don't like? Do I assume it was done that way just to irritate me or impede me in my responsibilities? Someone says no to a request and I can't accept that it is because they are genuinely busy, but rather that they don't like me. You publicly disagree with me? Why is it that my first (interior, where thankfully it usually reamains) response is thinking about vindictively and publicly attacking you back? 

I'm good at talking about grace, recognizing God's grace, expecting and even demanding it from other people when I want it offered to me... but  then never REALLY want to go through the work of generously giving grace to others, of assuming best intentions (or at least not evil directed toward me personally),  or of trusting in the possibility that God is doing a mighty work within that other person - even when I don't understand or agree with all of their stands, decisions, actions or words.

Seems to me that wisdom is also a very important component of grace, at least the kind of grace that comes from God, so out of curiosity, I did a search of Bible verses that included those words, wisdom and grace, in this sort of context...

And the child grew, and waxed strong, 

filled with wisdom: and the grace of God was upon him. 

(Luke 2.40)

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; 

teaching and admonishing one another 

with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, 

singing with grace 

in your hearts unto God. (Colossians 3.16)

- I've never considered this verse in this context before... Comments? -

For our glorying is this, the testimony of our conscience, 

that in holiness and sincerity of God, 

not in fleshly wisdom but in the grace of God, 

we behaved ourselves in the world, and more abundantly to you-ward.

(2 Corinthians 1.12)

And Jesus advanced in wisdom, and age, and grace with God and men.

(Luke 2.52)

...In whom we have redemption through his blood, the remission of sins, 

according to the riches of his grace, 

Which hath super-abounded in us in all wisdom and prudence, 

That he might make known unto us the mystery of his will, 

according to his good pleasure...

(Ephesians 1.7-9)

*****************************************

How do I become wiser and more graceful? 

And very specifically: how do we gently hold ourselves and each other accountable for wise and graceful online interactions and communications?

(The picture in this post is a screen shot from the first season episode entitled Law of the Land.)

Updating ~ What's up with these kids of ours: Jonathan

No, we don't yet claim a hedgehog as a child.

Our kids might like that, though!

They're all, Jonathan included, keeping an eye on the hedgehog obstetric triage that has moved into the storage room off the carport, though... and trying to keep the cats out so the newborns have at least a fighting chance!

Hedgehogs are one of those "favorite things about living in Niger" for our kids. How can you not fall in love with something so adorable, right? 

That's very much the way I feel about our Jonathan.

He's enthusiastically all boy: 

He loves to:  

• run and play, 
• ride bikes, 
• dig in the sand, 
• throw mudballs at walls he when and where he shouldn't be, 

• catch critters, 
• play computer games, 
• monopolize both games of strategy and chance, 
• build tree houses out of banana leaves, 
• chase the goats, 
• harass the cats, 
• wrestle with his big bro and any of big bro's friends who will humor him, 
• swim,
• dive,

• throw a softball around,
• hang out with his friends, 
• go to parties at his friends' houses,
• play and build with legos,
• love on his younger-than-him friends,
• watch Star Wars animations Brendan downloads from the Internet,
• invite company over for dinner... or doughnuts... or on a good day - only a movie - without warning his mama first,
• watch Tom and Jerry and giggle at the antics until all of the rest of us have sore tummies from laughing so hard at his unabashed giggling, 
• chase everyone else out of bed in the morning - especially on Saturday,
• read,
• and read his Bible.

He's a good student - although he hasn't yet developed the habit of completing his work with painstaking precision. He grasps concepts and ideas quickly, memorizes effortlessly and he wants to finish his work tout de suite so that so he can get back to the really important business of doing what he wants. That surprises me because he can be quite obsessively compulsive about other things... like always wearing socks with his tennis shoes, making sure his waistband ALWAYS covers his bellybutton, slamming and locking the bathroom door loud enough to wake me up at the other end of the house at least once during the night every night, and never being caught without his shirt on unless we're at the pool (that's for you, Gammie!).

He's a rotten dishwasher - but a great salsa maker (under the supervision of Mama), cake batter stirrer, bathroom picker-upper and he has the makings to be a pretty good laundry guy as well. I haven't let him try ironing... yet.

He usually gets dressed for school the night before after he takes his shower. That will have to change next year since I don't think the uniforms he'll be wearing will look as neat as they should if he persists with said habit. 

He likes to wear orange and red together... or go totally monochrome... and that drives me crazy. He thinks the dark blue fuzzy socks Air Maroc hands out on the airplane are super stylish. Help!!! 

He usually remembers to brush his teeth - except for those times he totally forgets for like... a week at at time...

He adores his big bro (with good reason) and we think he really does like his big sisters most of the time even though he tells us he only puts up with them. He, Victoria and Anna actually get some pretty great imagination games going on when they are outside directing the two little girls and coercing the goats, cats and dogs to participate.

He doesn't complain a lot. He can be running a sky high temp and feel really lousy and I won't have a clue until I give him a hug before bed or something. He's too busy being busy to let feeling bad slow him down. That scares me about him, sometimes. 

He does complain about little things, like when he's hungry or if I fix something to eat that he doesn't really enjoy. But he knows he has to take as many bites as he is old without complaining or I'll make him eat the entire plate... or bowl... or whatever. He doesn't like strawberries or raspberries - unless they are in jelly. Crazy, I know!  That fact alone makes me wonder if he truly got any of my genes. He thinks peanut butter on baguette is the only, truly genuine breakfast food - unless Daddy is willing to make pancakes. And then he puts peanut butter on his pancakes and drowns them in syrup (maple... except I recently ran out of maple flavoring so now he's stuck with brown sugar and vanilla)!

He is a genuine extrovert. He loves people and rarely meets a stranger or someone he isn't willing to like. He wants to see that everybody is included in games... most of the time... even his sisters. He thinks his daddy is the coolest guy in the whole wide world. Gentle, compassionate and loving, he helps take care of those younger than him. When he disappears, often we find him "babysitting" one of his little buddies at the playground or entertaining them in the kiddie pool.

He can be stubborn - once he gets an idea in his head, he perseverates (is that really a word?) on that idea until he drives others crazy. He is so competitive with board games that sometimes he tries to cheat and win. First he gets mad then hurt and finally sheepish when he's confronted about it. He has a gentle, mischievousness that endears him, unless it makes you want to strangle him, but that usually only lasts for a few seconds. Like I said, usually. He cries easily when he's overtired.

I expect him to miss Niger next year, especially two of his just about from birth friends that are on home assignment right now (it has been nearly a year since he last saw them already) and who we will not see again until who knows when. We leave for the States before they return to Niger. He talks about them... asks about them... often. He'll miss his new buddies from this year as well - especially a California guy, also in second grade who lives just down the hill. They hang out and play, almost every day.

He's an excellent student, a voracious reader and likes to get the best grade he can. I don't have to remind him to do his homework. He's totally on top of that all by himself. His biggest struggles in school next year will have to do with listening well (he has a tendency to hear only what he wants to hear or already expects to hear), completing his work carefully instead of as quickly as possible, and hopefully his classmates will be gracious with him as he continues to work on his speech and language issues. Improvement has taken place this year, but since I don't really know what to do to help him, I feel like we are only muddling through. I'm more convinced that this improvement comes from increasing maturity and not because of anything I've done other than remind him to try to say things properly and to practice a new sound once we figure it out.

Some specific prayer requests for Jonathan?

1. We hope to see his speech will continue to improve and we will be able to resume speech and language services through the public school once we return to Midland and school starts back up.
2. We are praying that he finds new friends, soon, and that he keeps his joyful attitude in almost all things.
3. We expect him a hard adjustment as Brendan leaves for college and he becomes the only boy sibling  at home. I'm praying that he and Brendan find a way to maintain their big bro-lil' bro closeness, even from a distance.
4. He has not had the opportunity to participate in organized sports the way most kids growing up in Midland have. Thus, his skills in those areas are behind where many of his peers are. Hopefully he will find a niche in something active that he loves.
5. Not having the freedom to run and play all over will seem restricting to him. Pray that he adjusts graciously.
6. Good health physically, emotionally and spiritually! With his tender heart, he can become sad. And he'll be going on 9, starting 3rd grade. At least in our experience, kids that age get sick a lot anyways and changing countries, continents and climates only exasperates that experience.

I JUST LOVE being this boy's mama!!!

What a gift...

Updating ~ What's up with these kids of ours: Elsie Mae

Since our home assignment is imminent, friends and family are asking us how to best pray for our children as we prepare to bring them back to our home and plop them in the middle of Mid-Michigan; we do what we can to help them adjust, but basically, we try to trust God as He leads and hope for the best.

Doesn't sound too proactive to write it out that way, does it?

We're open for better ideas, if you have any?

Anyways, I thought I'd dedicate a post to each one of our school children - and maybe it would give you some ideas as to how to pray for these wonderful munchkins as well as the-not-so-much-anymore-munchkins that we commonly refer to as Wrightlings (It really is the perfect term for them, coined by our buddy Ryan! Thanks, Ryan!)

Since some of the bigger Wrightlings have been the focus of recent posts, I'm starting with our munchkin-est schoolgirl: Elsie Mae!

Elsie Mae is in first grade this year; the first thing that comes to mind each time I consider our 6 year old is that she LOVES people, LOVES her life and most of the time, she CHOOSES to be happy and to see the positive side of almost any situation. 

I even see that aspect of her personality in this collection of blisters. One of the "plagues" of harmattan season in Niger, at least for some in our family, are frequent cold sores and fever blisters due to the dryness. When these photos were taken, she had one on the inside of her front lip which cracked and started to bleed every time she smiled. Since she still wanted to be a part of the photo shoot, she told me she'd be pensive for the photos. I'm still trying to figure out where she learned and when she started using the word pensive... 

Her confidence and comfort in other people amazes me: she's never met someone who hasn't communicated to her that they like and accept her and therefore she feels sure that will always be the case. She loves to be liked, but she doesn't have to be "the favorite friend." She's open and instinctively trusts, assuming the best, and it affects how other people. I'm trying to learn from her...

Yet that scares me. I fear that she'll only end up hurt by other people, especially as she gets older. Part of my job as her parent is to help teach her how to be wise without losing that gentle trusting that is hallmark of her personality.

I don't know that school is ever going to come easy for my girl. She learns best by experiencing, by exploring, by exhausting possibilities on her own and relying on her intuition and interests to investigate. Her progress sometimes seems haphazard and then out of the blue, she demonstrates that she's got an advanced concept or a skill - without first appearing to master the building block skills that I would think first necessary.

She's a talker and loves to recount stories from her day at school. In fact, she gets her feelings hurt if I don't take time to ask her questions about her day and listen to her tell me her stories. She enjoys writing stories, usually about about a princess... named Elsie Mae, of course.

Socially, I think this gal is going to make a great transition to school and life back in the United States. Academically, we've got some concerns. She's reading, but she is not a super strong reader - a few levels behind where her teacher would like to see her, and that is in a classroom with several students learning English as a second language. Her writing appears immature; her illustrations look as though they are drawn by a much younger child - although we are seeing huge improvements when she takes the time to seriously focus and try. 

Math and learning subject areas (where she can listen or reason to grasp content) tend to be much stronger - as long as she can focus and responds/reacts thoughtfully rather than impulsively. At the same time, her intuitive and impulsive answers often show a greater depth of understanding than I expect. She struggles with some seemingly simple concepts like identifying rhyming words - while her overall grasp of the rhythm and music of language often astounds me.

She struggles with some speech and language issues. We had originally planned for her to attend a French language school. God intervened and her education, except for the standard French class a few times a week (and living in a French/multilingual world) has occurred entirely in English. In hindsight, I can clearly see that has been a good thing, even though I'm sad she doesn't understand a second language the way her older siblings do. I am expecting we will need to have her assessed for possible speech and language issues once we return to the States. 

I like this photo - my pensive girl couldn't stop herself from smiling in this one, even though it hurt.

She is a sensitive little gal, especially when it comes to physical pain. In fact, I'd call her a little wimpy. The sight of blood from a little scrape or a nose bleed can provoke a meltdown, at least until she is reassured that really, she's going to be okay. She is particularly concerned with fairness - as it relates to her and her situation. She'd count out the same number of peanuts for everyone to share and think that the best plan if I asked her to do so. And, like most her age, she likes to be a news bearer - especially if she thinks she can right an unfairness committed by one of her siblings.

Sometimes her immature or babyish behavior gives others the wrong idea about Elsie Mae for at other time, she comports with a maturity well beyond her years. She loves to watch out for her little sister while at the pool and will spend hours playing in the sand or with plastic animals. I can leave her in charge of Mary Michelle as the two of them dry dishes and put them away. She likes to help make pizza, clean vegetables, peel potatoes and carrots, knead bread, make cookies and make pancakes. As long as it is a manual job, she sticks with it pretty well, until she believes she has finished the task.

Please join us in praying for Elsie Mae over these next few months in particular:

1. We hope to solve a few of the mysteries about how she learns best, why she struggles in some specific areas;
2. We want to see her love of school and learning continue to grow, despite the hard-for-her things about school that discourage her;
3. We need to evaluate her progress, pray much and determine the best educational option for her for next year;
4. I hope to help her develop some strategies that will serve her well, regardless of how/where she ends up going to school next year;
5. Her love for and unassuming acceptance and trust of people in general continues to be a strength in her personality; and
6. Her understanding of God will continue to grow and deepen.