One Proud Mama... of her TCKs

Fridays, I usually link up with Five Minute Friday... you know that "blogging thing" where a topic prompt is posted and participants write for 5 minutes, unedited, on whatever thoughts trickle... or flash floods... out, based on that prompt, and then link back to the original post.

I'm not participating today, because I want to take a minute to brag on my gang... and give a quick update as to what's up with them. Frankly, these musings are motivated by last night's "Gala de Reconnaissance" - or end of the year awards assembly at the kids' school. 

You see, I was really hoping we wouldn't have to go. 

I've done the awards assembly thing many, many times... Let's see... Brendan will be 21 in November and he started school when he was 4. That means I've been at awards assemblies for my Wrightling crew for 16 years - even more if I count  AWANA and also throw in the ones I attended to just be there for siblings, nieces, nephews... 

I get frustrated by the "everyone must receive an award so that everyone feels valued and appreciated" mentality yet at the same time, there are those 3 or 4 really exceptional students who end up dominating with 8 or 9 genuine and accomplished awards compared to the normal student's one or two participation certificates. I'll be the first to admit that my perspective is probably skewed - so I'm not pronouncing a judgement as to right or wrong; simply understand that I JUST DON'T LIKE awards assemblies. Because of this, I was super delighted to receive an email from the school that said we could swing by the office and find out if any children in our family were receiving awards; in other words, we wouldn't have to go and sit for three plus hours if no one was actually going to parade across the stage and shake the principle's hand and receive an award. Since we had visitors arriving from the States that day, I figured we had a pretty decent excuse to skip IF there was no real reason to be there. Please note the IF in all caps... even though I detest these assemblies, I am a pleaser and wanna-be obedient rule follower who always tries to do what I think others expect, even when I don't want to. So, in my mind, I needed a more legit reason to not be there other than a whiny "But I don't wanna..."

Much to my surprise (and, if I'm honest, disappointment), I was told that 4 of our 6 WOULD be receiving awards.

We WOULD be going. And our visitors, such good sports, WOULD be joining us. For the whole kit and caboodle. I baked a layered cake and had ice cream ready to serve at home afterwards, hoping to soften the blow.

It was an awards assembly.

It was the best awards assembly I've ever been to. Those in charge kept things moving. People weren't afraid to laugh at themselves. Improv seemed to be encouraged and kept everyone laughing. Kindergarten grad was included - and was completed in about 15 minutes. The orchestra's "musical selections" were frequent, used to help with transitions and short (read 30 seconds - 1 minute). Only the top students received awards. All of the participation and other recognitions had already been presented at school during the day, in a pre-gala celebration that was much like a class party.

It was still a three hour marathon with a 15 minute intermission, but it was okay.

I was glad I went.

Now, back to the bragging on my gang ~ Four received an award, and I was a proud mama. Especially when you see the comments that went with each award.

,

The student who has demonstrated determination and remarkable perseverance in accomplishing her goals. She has demonstrated, in the whole of her work, a desire to learn and the will to apply that knowledge, aestheticism, attention to detail, cleanliness and a high quality of work as well as respect for her peers and for different artistic materials.

for her perseverance in the face of academic challenge and her desire to learn.

for her love for the Lord and her desire to serve Him.

for having met the academic requirements of two school years (Secondary 4 and 5), in French (her second language) with exceptional diligence devoted to her studies.

Yeah.

You could say I'm proud of these Wrightlings.

And just because Jon and Anna didn't receive a certificate, I've watched them work and progress and take risks and succeed - all year long.

Anna in Haiti

Anna working with a team and painting a school in Haiti

M&M and Elsie Mae at a park on the Wendake reservation in Quebec

Tori, playing the monkey at a park in Quebec

Bren, with college friends

More of the same

Tori with soccer buds

Rebekah and friends

Nadia and classmates on wear-your-pjs-to-school day... a really cool tradition here in Quebec

Rebekah, hard at work (??) at her school coffee shop/student center this past year

M&M's class participating in an all school painting project... and dressed in garbage bags

our soon to be graduated one

Little munchkins... just two summers ago.. Elsie's rocking some TCK style... sundress and snowboots

Jon enjoying the a Quebec fall

One of the "describers" or characteristics used when talking about TCKs is that they experience loss, lots of it, and as a result of choices not their own. And it is true. My Nadia walked out of school yesterday afternoon in tears. I asked her what she was feeling and she said something like this: "In Niger, it took me 3 or 4 years after switching to Sahel (the international school, with other TCKs) to feel like I belonged. And we left. Then in Michigan, I was feeling a part of things after two years. And we moved here. This year, I've made some great friends and feel a part of this class. But we're all graduating and going different directions. They are great friends and I'm going to miss them. These goodbyes are hard." I cried with her. I think Anna and Tori were a little teary eyed, too. The littles just begged to continue with the next "Adventures in Odyssey" episode. Believe me, I know all too well that this is a hard as in ripping-your-heart-apart-hard part of their lives as I try to listen and love my gang through these sometimes moments, sometimes seasons.

I find it sad that this seems to be the most discussed, almost to the point of ad nauseum, aspect of their lives. Because it is only a part of the TCK experience, and may not even be the defining one - certainly not for all. 

But back to that conversation with Nadia. 

After a few minutes of tears, I asked her who she was talking to as they were walking out of school. She named her friend and she said they were talking and crying and commiserating together. Her friend is not a TCK - but they were both sharing the pain of impending loss together. And I really don't know if my girl has said more goodbyes... had more grief and loss in her life than her friend. I did follow up with another question. I asked Nadia why she was able to make deeper friendships faster with each place. Her response was insightful: "Because I've matured and I've gotten better at figuring out what I have in common with people. It is easier to make friends when I find something that can be a bridge."

I guess as a mama to my TCKs, I know there will be grief and loss. I guess I don't think we have the corner on that market, however. We try and deal with all the grief, the loss and those never ending transitions when needed and for as long as needed. But we don't want to let that define our family. 

It was eye-opening for me to see, at this awards assembly, what bridges others perceive my children to be building. They weren't necessarily the ones I would have expected... or even felt to be their natural areas of talent and inclination. 

I also know that my crew agrees with a sentiment currently circling among several of their TCK friends... who are spread across at least 6 continents: "How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard." (AA Milne as Winnie the Pooh). That's their words, not mine (although I guess they could just be parroting words to keep up some image that they feel they have to project ~ I don't think so). That "something" is those past friendships with such a wide variety of people  and is what allows them to build bridges, resulting in new relationships that may blossom into new friendships.

Five Minute Friday ~ "I don't know... You decide!"

Have you ever found yourself caught in one of those situations where no one wants to take the lead and just make a decision?

"Where should we go for lunch?"

"I don't care. Go ahead, you pick."

"No, seriously - you should be the one to decide. I picked last time."

"But it really doesn't matter to me... so, wherever! It's all good."

Obviously, this particular dilemmatic circumstance is more annoying than anything else. 

Eventually, someone will make a choice and after having wasted anywhere 5-15 minutes of their lunch break, the two (whoever they might be) will head off for lunch and before long forget all about their indecision. Worst case scenario? Too much time is wasted so someone finally decides they's rather just go to the company cafeteria or raid the vending machines and eat at their desk. And everyone feels stupid.

Are you a person who avoids making a definitive choice?

Silly girls who can't decide which silly face to make for their sister-selfie!

After all, that's the history behind the word. 

Decide comes from the Latin decidere means, quite literally, "to cut off." It is formed from the prefix de-, which means "off" and the verb caedere, which means "to cut," 

When a choice is made, it cuts off all other possibilities. If Tim and I choose to run to Ashton's for lunch some day, then Tim Horton's is no longer a possibility. If we decide to go skiing over Spring Break, then we won't be taking photos overlooking our toes on a sandy beach with Caribbean blue waves breaking in the background.

Deciding is a form of exclusivity.

That's why it makes some people uncomfortable.

In circumstances like where to go for lunch, that exclusivity isn't life-changing or irreversible.

But with some decisions, there's no turning back... and there's no way to guarantee the consequences, good or bad...

How about you? Do you make decisions easily? Or is it one of those things you find difficult to do?

...so I decided to take a selfie with him!

Five Minute Friday - Sharing "the Happiness!"

Plenty of people miss their 

share 

of happiness, 

not because they never found it, 

but because they didn't 

stop 

to enjoy it. 

~William Feather~

Saturday morning is my favorite time of the week... and I can hear my kids and husband groan (in my mind) as I type these words.

Why?

Saturday Morning Clean!

We usually sleep in.

Snuggle for awhile and talk about the week. Some are known to check up on different online games...

Silly snuggle time

Eat a leisurely breakfast.

But then someone begins blaring an iTunes or YouTube playlist... We have quite an menagerie of music ranging from Uncle Kracker to Christy Galkin, from Journey to Owl City, from Josh Turner to Huw Priday, from Vent du Nord to Matisyaho, from Alvin and the Chipmunks to Bryan Adams... and just about every Disney soundtrack (plus Prince of Egypt and a few like-minded creations) in English and some in French...

...and everyone gets to work on their weekly cleaning chores. The little girls clean their bedroom, do their laundry and sweep and mop the hallway. Some weekends, they also get to re-organize their toys or straighten out the coloring cupboard. Jonathan gets to work on his room and the living room. The big girls clean the basement - their room and bathroom, the family room, the office and the laundry room... and vacuum up the stairs. Tim takes care of the upstairs bathroom, mops the kitchen floor plus any repair jobs/outdoor jobs that need to be cared for. Richelle cleans Mama & Daddy's bedroom, works on laundry and cleans up the kitchen and that leisurely breakfast mess.

Look at that spotless room!

Usually, we're all done by noon, sometimes 1, depending on how long we snuggled before starting to work - leaving lots of time in the afternoon to just hang out, bake something sweet, or do something fun.

Funny thing?

Even though the majority of the gang might groan at the thought of the work, it is true that many hands make the labor light. Even better is all the fun we share as we bounce around the house, working together to get what needs to be done done, enjoying lively music and each other's company... and occasionally, teasingly, harassing a sibling or spouse! 

I love sharing Saturday mornings with my gang!

On days when other things and activities mean we have to adapt our Saturday Morning Cleaning Routine... I miss it.

I suspect the rest of the gang, just might... a little bit... too!

When Trust Stands Tall

I saw or heard that phrase somewhere this last year, and it has hung with me…

…because I need trust to stand tall. Like now!

A few days back, I went with my freshly graduated 18 year old to her yearly physical (she won’t have her license for a few more weeks). As the nurse measured her height, she encouraged her to stand tall – to push her back and heels flush against the wall, lengthen her neck and spine and look straight ahead.

Trust must stand tall.

Our seemingly forever season of transition/waiting is about to heat up, and not just because it’s summer time.

God has finally opened the doors for us to transition to the new place we’ve been thinking-praying-talking about for a few years now. Lord willing, we move in just a few weeks. We’re excited. We’re scared and nervous.

New ministries, new and more responsibilities, new church, new house in a new city, new friends, new school (and in a new language for several of our children). New grocery stores, new measures like liters instead of gallons and Celsius instead of Fahrenheit, new identity as we will no longer be those seemingly confident veterans but the very insecure and unsure newbies. For this introvert, it’s the stuff nightmares are made of!

Even in the busy excitement of preparations and hope-to-see-you-sooner-rather-than-later-get-togethers with family and friends, even in the well-known of “having been here done this,” I find myself continually having to choose to trust the One leading us this direction.

Trust must stand tall, especially as I think of what this transition means… will mean… for my family...

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To read the rest, please join me at 

a life overseas: the missions conversation, 

where I'm posting today!

What makes that place we live home? (AND a giveaway!)

I always loved going to my Nana and Pop-pop's house - as a little girl but even more so as I've gotten older.

Always cluttered and crowded and with the thermostat set high enough that I felt like I was back home in Niger, it definitely did not demonstrate the latest in decorating styles and fashions...

But?

Their house literally oozed welcome and warmth and love ~ 

• from the daybed in the dining room covered in pillows to give it a couch-like feel to the puppy statues on the steps in the entry way...
• from the elasticized permanent tablecloth always covering the kitchen table that had to be scootched to get to the stairs to the downstairs to the walls covered with framed photos of kids, grandkids and great-grandkids... 
• from the porch swing that creaked with every sway to the below-grade toilet in the basement bathroom (that also had a shower where even I had to stoop to step in) that I was terrified to flush because I could never do it the right way and always ended up with a mess...

Nana and Pop-pop's house might never have qualified for a how-to inspiration in Better Homes and Gardens, but they loved their home, clearly cared for their space, and warmly welcomed those visiting in their home. Cookies and fruit accessibly scattered throughout the kitchen, smells of yummy food wafting, candy in candy jars in every room, a porch swing with coffee first thing in the morning, and several TVs in different rooms for everyone's viewing pleasure.

Stenciling deer and acorns in the master bedroom of Tim's parents' house was our very first attempt at decorating/remodeling - as expecting newlyweds!

Nana's and Pop-pop's house was the first place I thought of as I read Myquillyn Smith's The NESTING Place ~ It doesn't have to perfect to be beautiful.

If you follow the Nester's blog, you'll already be familiar with Myquillyn's ideas for home decorating. As the book jacket says, "Myquillyn Smith has spent years helping readers accept and find beauty in the imprefections in their homes and in their lives.... Join [her] on her quest to love the incomplete and unfinished and mismatched areas of life and home." While I don't follow her blog every day, I have participated in her 31 days blog challenges and I do like to check in to her blog from time to time. Some of her ideas, I find totally over the top or impractical, especially for my family of ten, and especially especially as for the bulk of my married life with kids, I've lived on the backside of the Sahara Desert with not so much easily available when it comes to decorating schemes. 

One example? This mural. I was SO. PROUD. of it when we did it (even though I look back at the photos now and cringe)! Our Wrightlings loved i!. They had three "pieces" of furniture in their bedroom: a bunk bed that was shaped to kinda look like the cartoon versions of Noah's ark, a large and quilted mat to cover a portion of the ugly-tile-covered and unforgiving-to-toddler heads concrete floor, and a woven basket filled with the few toys they were able to bring when we moved. The large painting on the wall, the stencils halfway up - it helped make their room look like the busy place a children-under-six's should be,  a place they loved to be... loved to play... and which provided hours if imagination and fun as we made up stories for the animals painted on that wall.

Myquillyn, in The Nesting Place, points out that the key to decorating a house so that it feels more like a home to live in... and not a museum with exhibits to admire... is intentionality. And it was something Tim and I accidentally accomplished in both of the instances pictured above. We haven't always done that because we've forgotten points outlined in Myquillyn's book.

To create an intentional space, one that reflects your own individuality, sense of beauty and creativity, you need to, well... be intentional! Conside the following as you "build" spaces... and then decorate and furnish those spaces:

1. places to connect ~ "...prioritize good conversation and be sure [to] have adequate, comfortable seating so people will stick around."
2. safe places to make mistakes ~ "lower my standards for myself first, be forgiving of my own mistakes, and allow others to see me laughing at myself... display and use the imperfect in my home..."
3. places of inspiration ~ "...collect inspiring mementos and show them off unashamed, regardless of the trends."
4. places of authenticity ~ "...learn to embrace the imperfect, find the beauty in the undone, the haphazard and the unkempt, the everydayness, and the mess... find the beauty in what is... accept that the messes unique to my home are a sign of a full and beautiful season of life."
5. places of comfort ~ "...stop apologizing and focus on others instead of on myself... [serving] people, not [expecting people to] serve and protect our fancy stuff."
6. places of rest ~ "...practice resting in the midst of the undone, even if that means letting the dirty dishes sit so I can laugh with a friend who stopped by."
7. places of joy ~ "...surround myself with people and places and memories... that bring me joy."
8. places of contentment ~ "...practice gratitude... [saying] out loud things... that I'm thankful for instead of dwelling on what I think is missing."

~ from the chapter entitled

 "Embracing the True Purpose of  Your Home,"

 p. 69 in The Nesting Place

Not only was the book a delightful read, with lots of great pictures, good ideas and amusing personal stories, Myquillyn challenges women (and other readers) to consider the true purposes of the spaces in which we dwell and asks her readers to consider if in creating those spaces, we are 

• self-focused... or others focused
• people-oriented... or things oriented
• authentic... or concerned with a desired veneer
• content... or covetous
• thankful... or ungrateful for God's present provision

My grandparents may have had a cluttered, cramped and crazy-mismatched bunch of stuff at their house, but in creating a place that they loved, that was filled with memories, that encouraged visiting and conversation, that welcomed - the decorating faux-pas didn't even matter.

It was a place I couldn't wait to be.

I hope, someday, that I truly absorb these lessons and that my home becomes the same - a haven of welcome and love.

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Now... the part about the giveaway...

I'd LOVE to send someone my copy of this book, particularly if you think its message might encourage and challenge you - in a good way.

If you'd like to be entered in drawing, leave a comment here or on Facebook... I'll have Mary Michelle pick a name out of a hat... and we'll send it along. We'll draw names one week from today!

first photo credit: 

Bob Elderberry via photopin cc

When on those highways and byways...

I used to find it some combination between mildly amusing and slightly annoying when I'd hear people pray for "traveling mercies," even though at the time we were crisscrossing the state of Michigan (as well as a few adjacent states) almost every weekend seeking the financial support to head to West Africa as missionaries.

Then one wintry Sunday, we literally crept on four wheels, all night through a genuine winter blizzard only to arrive home, in the wee hours of the morning, and find a man we’d never met before sleeping in our bed (a story for another day). We ended up on the rickety pull-out sofa in the basement, struggling to drag ourselves out of bed and get up and around in time for the beginning of our home church’s missions conference just a few hours later. After that fiasco, I’d occasionally catch myself silently asking God for "traveling mercies," particularly during those unexpectedly long trips.

There was also that time late one August. We drove nonstop from Lansing, Michigan to Miami, Florida. Well... nonstop except for a few hours in a Georgia Walmart escaping massive summer heat. Our car at that time was minus air conditioning and plus three little ones in car seats! Several hours later, I actually prayed spontaneously, aloud, thanking the Lord for "traveling mercies…" and then woke my husband up. He’d fallen asleep at the final stoplight, just prior to reaching our destination.

We still hadn’t begun the adventure of international travel. Once that started, we experienced...

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Please head on over to a life overseas: the missions conversation, 

where I'm posting today and find out about a few more 

of our driving adventures!

photo credit: oneVillage Initiative via photopin cc

Five Minute Friday ~ Because ~

 Because ~

• It has been two such crazy, busy weeks...
• I'm working on taking care of some physical things that have been put off for such a long time...
• I've got four girls in high school and high school schedules are insanely crazy and...
• We, as a family let it get that way (the insanely crazy bit)...
• I'm teaching something I've never taught this way before in a new school and the learning curve is more like a vertical straight up...
• Friends need me to prioritize praying for their very real and very big needs...
• Temperamental internet frustrates, even in America...
• I like to snuggle my littles who still like to be snuggled...
• There's a bug collection due in just a week or so...
• Fall's happening right now, I love this time of year, I've missed so many Falls while overseas, and it has been gorgeous outside on so many recent days so I'm soaking in God's marvelous creation in this season...
• Of what's happening right in front of me as these kiddos play, need help with homework, learn responsibility around the house, have birthday parties, forget their instruments or their lunch, need my computer to do their French...
• The food doesn't cook itself, neither have I yet trained the dishes to take care of the kitchen...
• I don't get paid to do this...

It's been a week since I last looked at this blog.

I've missed it, because writing is a big part of how I process life. 

But sometimes? 

Life just gets in the way and that's okay

...just because.

And now, a post script in which I take off on a total rabbit trail...

Anyone else remember when parents said "...just because," being completely frustrated, and then swearing you'd never do the same to your kids?

How many understand better now the beauty of 

...just because?

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Linking up with Kate for Five Minute Friday.

Birds of Prey - A Raptor Education Program @ the Houghton Lake Public Library

Sawyer the saw-whet owl

Ruth (the ARK's director) and Boudica, a great horned owl

Monique, an American kestrel

Ari, a red-tailed hawk

hawk talons up close and personal

One of the volunteers with Lazlo, a barred owl