I get it.
I really do.
I need to measure my words carefully. I need to avoid saying and doing things that I know will pointlessly wound others. I need to grieve with those who are grieving, weep with those who are weeping...
But what about choosing not to take offense at the things that others do, the things that others say?
...particularly when I understand that the point of those words or actions is not to hurt me, when I know for a matter of fact that the words or actions are not even expressly directed towards me. I can't expect or ask others not to celebrate simply because I'm not or can't. Instead, I'm exhorted to rejoice with those who are rejoicing, to laugh with those who are laughing...
Sometimes I read my fb feed or check out what blogs are trending and it sounds like the adult version of my kids in the back seat of the car after we've been traveling too long without a break:
"He's looking at me! Tell him to stop looking at me!"
************* or *************
"Stop touching me. Just get out of my space! Mama, would you make her stop!"
************* only instead it is *************
"I can't believe the pastor would say that from the pulpit.
Doesn't he know how that might hurt someone?
Doesn't he know how that hurts me?"
Doesn't he know how that hurts me?"
************* or *************
"I really wish they wouldn't call attention to [you fill in the blank]
because it leaves others feelings so left out or inadequate or a failure or..."
because it leaves others feelings so left out or inadequate or a failure or..."
Seriously?
How can we show each other a little more grace and consideration?
How can we stop being so sensitive to ourselves and more sensitive to others?
Ironically one of the reasons I stopped facebook for a season. For some reason we feel more freedom with our words online as if not voicing them aloud, only written, won't do any damage.
ReplyDeleteso right ~ and also the idea that if we voice them "intelligently" it somehow rises to a higher level than elementary sized arguments in the backseat.
Deletesigh...
do you know if our paths will cross this summer?
Oh, that'll preach! Great post! I am always saying that the internet has become a way to prolong our over-dramatic middle school years. Every word is under a microscope, every post gets scrutinized to the letter. And all of a sudden everyone wants to complain and publicize that they've somehow been wronged. Whatever happened to being thick-skinned and showing a little grace? Thanks for calling it out. (Or maybe we're just being oversensitive to folks' oversensitivity! hahahahaha)
ReplyDeletethat's a great way to put it - a jr high prolongation... sigh... why would we even want to, eh?
Deleteor... pot calling the kettle black? i hope not ~
Great insights. Yes, some people are far too quick to take offense to something that is said, even if - and maybe moreso - that something was said about or to someone else. I get the impression that they feel they are in some way protecting others by getting upset for them.
ReplyDeleteThat's why - especially on facebook, where everyone & his brother can see it - I choose my words very carefully (at least I try to) when I write any comment, because I know some people are much too easily offended. And I also double-check myself before I post a comment, particularly if I am commenting because my initial reaction was to be offended by something. More than once, I have had a comment all typed up, and was ready to hit "enter," but I decided it best to hit "escape" instead. Many of my facebook friends are also students I deal with at school, so I try to be extra careful about the example I set for them. I even check myself sometimes before I "like" something - a photo, comment, or whatever - because I know that anyone can see my activities more readily online.
oh that everyone, myself included, were so conscientious ~
Deletewe can't wait to see you - in not too many days, now!
Well, I won't pretend that I've always been so conscientious - or even that I don't sometimes even now say or do things disregarding how it might be taken by others. But I guess there's just something about being almost... well... dead... that changes one's way of looking at things. It changed me, at least. I'm just glad that there are people out there who are better than I am at thinking of others, without having had to go through the drastic eye-opening I did. I wouldn't trade the growing I did over the past five years for anything, but I still wouldn't wish my accident on anyone.
DeleteAnd yes, looking forward to seeing you all as well!
;-)
Delete